Month: January 2015

Happy 2nd Year Blog Anniversary!

Today’s kind of an important anniversary for me. It’s actually the day I began this blog exactly two years ago. For 730 consecutive days now, I’ve posted an entry, the vast majority of which have been original spiritual reflections written from my day-to-day life experiences. I’m really quite grateful for this accomplishment, because it’s one more thing I have in life to show how dedicated I am to living a spiritual life.

Maintaining this blog has truly has transformed me in ways I never envisioned when I first began it as a homework assignment from a former therapist and my current spiritual teacher. I once said to them that journaling was totally stupid, but this blog is essentially just that, a journal of my life, and through it, I’ve found healing in areas I once believed was impossible to fix. I’ve also expanded my level of creativity and increased my confidence in my writing skill as well because of it. But most importantly, writing in my blog has helped me to get through so many days where I was severely hurting and extremely blue.

Don’t get me wrong though as there have been many times I’ve questioned whether I want to continue doing this daily exercise, especially when not too many people are actively reading it. But I’m reminded time and time again that I didn’t begin this blog for the purpose of having thousands of readers, I began it to help myself heal and spiritually grow, and that I have been doing for 2 years now.

In all actuality, I realize as I write this that I haven’t given up on anything I’ve undertaken in the past few years. That says a big something for my spiritual growth alone, as it wasn’t that long ago when I had pretty much given up on life and myself.

So one day at a time, I’m going to do my best to keep on writing about my experiences, strengths, and hopes in life, because I know in doing so, it will lead me even further into the love and light of my Higher Power, and maybe even help a few others along the way who end up reading any of these words…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“If We Are Painstaking…”

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development…” (p. 83 Alcoholics Anonymous)

Painstaking. It’s a word that’s always stood out to me from the time I first heard it read in the above excerpt, which is taken from the section of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous known as The Promises. It’s also the main word I primarily ignored each time those promises were read in just about every 12 Step meeting I attended. Because of this, it took me a very long time to establish a healthy recovery and life.

The definition of painstaking is “when something is done with or employing great care and thoroughness.” To put it rather bluntly, I rarely did anything with great care and thoroughness for most of my life unless it was pursuing some person, place, or thing to make me happy, i.e. an addiction. But in regards to me placing any great care or thoroughness into the work that always comes with doing the 12 Steps, I balked.

Honestly, doing step work isn’t easy. It forces a person to face themselves and all their messes they created in life. It forces them to see their character defects and all their acts of selfishness and self-centeredness. And it forces them to look at their dishonesty and all their fears as well. Trust me, looking at any of these things is extremely difficult, especially when there’s no immediate payout or benefit to bringing it all to light.

The only reason why I was painstaking in my pursuance of alcohol, drugs, sex, love, shopping, and the like is only for the fact that I was getting something instantly out of each of them. With the 12 Steps though, that’s often not the case. The payout comes in the long run the more one sticks and persists with the work, even when it feels like nothing good is coming out of it.

That’s really what being painstaking is all about when it comes to recovery from an addiction. It’s about trudging through the 12 Steps and taking a good, hard look at one self, even when it feels like crap. It’s about being as thorough as possible, even when one might be totally afraid to fully see their real self.

So while I might not have been painstaking with my recovery in the past, I am today, and because of it, those promises seem to be finally coming true for me and I thank my Higher Power for that…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

January’s Questions For You To Ponder

It’s been awhile since I last posed an entry with a bunch of spiritual questions for each to ponder. Given that I’ve been in quite the introspective and philosophical mood as of late, I felt today might be a good day to do this exercise again. I also decided from this point forward to repeat this exercise once a month, as it seems to stimulate great discussions each time I do. I hope each of you will take a moment to answer them and maybe even share a few of your responses back with me…

1.  What song(s) have stirred your heart to greater unconditional love when you’ve heard them?

2.  Which movie(s) have moved your heart to greater unconditional love when you’ve watched them?

3.  If you could communicate to one deceased person for only a few minutes, what would you say?

4.  If you could spend one more day with a deceased person, whom would it be with?

5.  If you could change one thing in your past, would you, and if so, what would it be?

6.  If you could ensure one thing would happen in your future, would you, and if so, what would it be?

7.  If you could find out the exact details of when and how you will die, would you?

8.  If you knew the exact details of when and how the person closest to you would die, would you tell them?

9.  If you could own a profitable business that would help make the world a better place, what would it be?

10. If you could become best friends with one person  you’re not already best friends with, who would it be?

And one more question for good measure…

11. What is the one thing that always seems to unravel your peace and serenity in life most often?

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson