Month: February 2015

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure – Chapter 8

Q: What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
A: Hey, you’re looking pretty sharp!!!

Hello everyone! It’s time for another chapter in my greatest adventure. But before I get to the good stuff, just a quick heads up that starting tomorrow, Captain Lazy is going to be taking the next two weeks off from writing his way too serious type of blog entries. 🙂 He says he needs a small break from writing for a few weeks, but I told him that maybe that’s not long enough because I keep falling asleep whenever I read his stuff. LOL. Anyways, you’ll be seeing the “Thought For The Day” each day until then. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the latest chapter to my story and as always, here’s the links to the previous ones in case you aren’t caught up yet…

https://thetwelfthstep.com/2014/12/10/andys-woodsy-adventure-chapter-1/
https://thetwelfthstep.com/2014/12/18/andys-woodsy-adventure-chapter-2/
https://thetwelfthstep.com/2014/12/27/andys-woodsy-adventure-chapter-3/
https://thetwelfthstep.com/2015/01/04/andys-woodsy-adventure-chapter-4/
https://thetwelfthstep.com/2015/01/16/andys-woodsy-adventure-chapter-5/
https://thetwelfthstep.com/2015/01/29/andys-woodsy-adventure-chapter-6/
https://thetwelfthstep.com/2015/02/10/andys-woodsy-adventure-chapter-7/

 Andy’s Woodsy Adventure – Chapter 8

“C-AN-CER!” I somehow managed to sputter the word out just in time before my parents reached me and probably before I would have passed out from the lack of oxygen.

Suddenly my lungs seemed to work again allowing me to take in a huge long gulp of air.

“ANDY, ARE YOU OK???” My mother asked looking quite distressed.

“Yea, I had some water go down the wrong pipe Mom, no big deal.” I lied of course. I mean how could I explain this in any other way?

“You had us kind of scared there for a moment son…” My Dad said giving me an uneasy smile and a few pats on the back.

They ended up staying at the poolside with me for the rest of the time I swam that day and ended up doing the same each time I had gone swimming during the last few weeks of summer. Soon the pool was closed and my days at camp were behind me. Life now had me back on a bus heading to my first day of the 7th grade. I thought about my crystal for a moment as I sat there and looked out the window and knew my fear of choking to death had totally kept me from playing around with it since that day. Nothing else worth mentioning had really happened since that incident other than noticing my family had actually started acting a lot more normal around me. Unfortunately it seemed as if the rest of the world wasn’t, because the kids at the bus stop that morning had all been whispering and staring at me, which made me worry whether everyone else at school would be doing the same. I didn’t have much time to ponder the thought though because we had just pulled up to the front of the middle school. With backpack firmly in place, I nervously headed off the bus and through the school’s front doors.

“FREAK!” I had only taken a few steps into the school when I heard the word come from behind me rather loudly. Turning around, I saw a few kids snicker at me before they went off in the opposite direction. I guess that pretty much answered my question…

By the time I found my homeroom, it seemed as if everyone else was already there. The only remaining seat was up front and after sitting down there I could feel everyone’s eyes staring at me from behind. Even the teacher sitting at his desk almost directly facing me seemed to be doing the same. I blame all those reporters for this because my sudden reappearance had become major news headlines for a bunch of days. They had warped everything I told both them and the police and truly believed my story was merely a concoction arising out of shock and fear, which unfortunately is what my family continues to believe as well. And according to the articles I read about me, there was no evidence found in the woods to support any of my claims. I’m guessing this is why everyone has asked me more times than I can count if I was kidnapped and how it’s ok to tell them the truth. Several times I wanted to lie and give them what they desired, but I didn’t. Now everyone just thinks I’m nuts, including my parents, but at least they haven’t forced me to go see some type of children’s psychologist.

Luckily, the morning bell finally rang, breaking the huge chain of stares at me. As the teacher began calling out names for attendance, I secretly wished I had the ability to become invisible.

“Amanda Ashford?”

“HERE!”

“Jonathan Bader?”

“HERE!”

“Mary Crawford?”

“HERE!”

“Brian Davidson?”

“HERE!”

“Andy Dawson?”

“Freak!” Someone from behind me muttered it loud enough for most everyone to hear.

“Here…” I responded slumping down into my seat while listening to their giggles, already beginning to dread the new school year.

As the teacher droned on name after name, I reached into my backpack to pull out a notebook for my first class, which was English. For a second I saw the warm glow coming from the crystal lying at the bottom of my bag and was comforted in knowing I really wasn’t crazy. I was glad I had placed it there that morning but sadly, it looked as if everyone else would never know the truth and would always look at me this way.

Thankfully English came and went, followed by Math, then Social studies, all without incident, other than the constant staring and occasional snicker. Lunch and recess were next, which normally was one of my least favorite times of the day only because I usually got picked on quite a bit during it in past years. I had just grabbed my tray in the cafeteria line and filled it with some chicken fingers, fries, a vanilla pudding, and some milk. After paying for it with the money my parents had given me, I ventured into the sea of tables looking for a place to sit. And then it happened like it always did every single year. A foot appeared out of nowhere catching my leg as I moved forward. The plate of food on my tray began to fly off of it as thoughts of being laughed at by everyone in the cafeteria quickly crossed my mind. 

“Libra!” I muttered in desperation hoping somehow it might still work even though I wasn’t holding onto the crystal in my hand.

WHOOSH…

Time suddenly stood motionless, much to my unexpected delight. My plate of food now hung in mid-air, fingers, fries, pudding, and milk appearing like a suspended piece of artwork. To my right stood the same kid from the morning who had called me a freak, grinning from ear to ear, along with a few of his friends. 

I smiled knowing I finally had a way to even the tide for once.

First, I unbuckled the tripper’s pants and pulled them all the way down to the ground. I had to laugh when I saw his pink tighty-whities lying underneath. Next, I did the same with each of his friends, all having pretty ridiculous looking underwear as well. And finally, I placed my food and drink safely back on the plate and on my tray and then moved a few steps away from the still frozen grinning kids.

“Libra!” I said now smiling from ear to ear myself.

WHOOSH…

And it was right then I decided the world was now going to start knowing a new me, Andy 2.0…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Should One Date Early On In Their Recovery From Addiction?

Yes, it really is true, there’s no official rule that says one can’t date in their first year of sobriety or at any point in sobriety for that matter. And it’s also not something one will find written in the Big Book nor will it be found written in the 12 and 12 either. With that being said, I can attest looking back on my road to recovery, that I understand now why it’s always SUGGESTED one should not date early on in their recovery.

Here’s the thing, when a person first comes to recovery, especially from an alcohol or drug addiction, their focus has usually been on seeking external satisfaction to fill an internal void for quite some time. In other words, most have no idea who they are because they’ve been consistently looking outside of themselves for inner happiness. Unfortunately, it takes a tremendous amount of work to change this in recovery, which often causes many to give up that quest in exchange for a new boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, significant other or the like. When this happens, instead of learning how to validate themselves and truly like and love whom they are inside, they look for it in their new relationship. In doing so, the new person in their lives only becomes their fix, just like alcohol and drugs once were for them. And when that new fix no longer gives them the validation they need to keep filling their internal void, arguments ensue, fights happen, breakups occur, and frequently an end result of either them seeking it in yet another person to date or a full relapse back into their addiction.

This is why it’s always suggested a person should not date early on in recovery, because they will never know how to have a successful relationship with anyone else until they learn how to have one with themselves. I should know because I didn’t listen to that unwritten rule like so many others have done throughout the history of recovery from addictions. In fact, I began dating less than 60 days into my sobriety from alcohol and drugs, which only began a very long and arduous journey of more than 15 years where I kept seeking a mate to make me feel better about myself. And I found many of them, each filling that void for a time, which was no different than what alcohol and drugs had once done for me. But like any fix, eventually I needed more and more of it until it ended up destroying each of those relationships, one after another. You see, none of them were ever going to be able to permanently remove my character defects, my selfishness, my insecurity, or my loneliness. They were only ever able to give me a temporary reprieve from my inner misery and nothing more, just like alcohol and drugs did for me.

It wasn’t until I spent an entire year single, 16 years into my sobriety, that I learned how to fill that inner void all on my own. It was then that I began working the 12 Steps 100% of the time. And if it wasn’t for that, I don’t think I’d be having the most successful relationship I’ve ever had in my entire life, as I am right now with my current partner.

So if you happen to be someone early on in recovery from an addiction who’s single and thinking about dating, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and understand that unless you truly find your happiness coming from within, there’s no one out there in this world who will ever complete you or bring you everlasting fulfillment because that can only ever come from within…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson