Have you ever had someone cancel plans on you at the last minute because a better option arose for them? I have, more times than I can count. But sadly, I’ve also been the one who’s done the cancelling as well, except I never knew how that felt until it kept happening to me.
Sometimes I think that’s the way the Universe operates. We do a particular thing that in our minds is quite harmless, but yet we fail to realize on some level the harm that was actually done through our action. And the only way we ever get to see that is by having it done to us.
For years, I cancelled plans at the last minute on someone for any number of reasons that included things such as getting invited to a party, spending time with someone I had the hot’s for, or receiving tickets to some special event. In my mind, I always justified that action thinking the other person would understand and I could just reschedule. Unfortunately, most of them did reschedule and rarely did any tell me how it felt inside each time I did it to them. Because of that, I never learned the lesson.
Except the tide eventually turned on me for a good number of years when I started having this same behavior happen to me. When various individuals in my life whom I really wanted to spend time with began cancelling plans at the last minute on me, especially during weekends, leaving me with nothing to do but watch television and be alone, it’s when I truly began to understand the harm I had caused others who I had done the same thing to.
My ego was always the sole reason why I justified that action of cancelling on another at the last minute. And with it in charge, I never once thought about how those people I had plans with might not have had anyone else to spend time with. I never thought about the lonely evenings they could have endured because of it. I never thought about how much they probably were looking forward to it in week’s prior. The fact is, I never thought about them at all, I only thought about myself, and my own needs, wants, and desires.
A friend posed a question on Facebook recently that asked what everyone’s definition of love is. I said that I believe love is when someone else’s needs, wants, and desires become far more important than my own. Applying this definition to the case of cancelling plans on another at the last minute, it’s my belief that I’m as far from demonstrating that as I could be by doing this.
So I’m really trying to live today with that age-old adage that says to do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Because ultimately it never felt good on any level when someone cancelled plans on me at the last minute, thus why should I ever do it to anyone else? I’m just glad I totally see this now…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson