I’ve had the Bible thrown at me plenty of times throughout life because of my sexuality, but I never thought that would ever happen during my extended vacation in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. Sadly, it did and it definitely became the lowest point of the entire trip for both my partner and myself.
It all began three days earlier when we were swimming in the large pool at the Gran Porto Real Resort we were staying at. There, we occasionally found ourselves talking to other guests because that’s just what people seemed to do there. On this particular day there was a man and a woman wading nearby whom you could tell had just arrived because of how pale their skin was. I told them they might want to be careful and wear lots of sunscreen given how easy it was to burn being so close to the equator. That sparked a quick conversation between us where we learned they were from Edmonton, Canada and had only gotten there yesterday. It wasn’t too long after that where they left the pool area, but given how small the resort was, we ran into them rather frequently over the next few days. Each time we did, we would have another brief conversation that was always pleasant and enjoyable. Finally after enough of these brief encounters took place, I decided to put it out there that my partner and I would be open to them joining us for a meal if they were up to it.
On most of the trips my partner and I’ve taken, we’ve usually met some really nice couples, both gay and straight, in similar ways that have always led to us enjoying one or more meals with each of them. So this wasn’t out of the norm for either of us to ask this friendly heterosexual couple this question. They responded to it by asking for our room number and said they may take us up on that offer and would call us.
When Saturday arrived, which was the second to last day of our trip, we hadn’t received any message from them in our room yet. As I was leaving the pool that afternoon to go work out in the gym, I ran into them in the lobby where we had another great conversation. There, I posed the question once again about our dinner offer and their response was an apology for them being old fuddy-duddies. I told them I understood because there were times I too wanted to not being around anyone other than my partner on a vacation. They thanked me for understanding and I waved as I headed off to the gym.
Later that night, my partner and I chose to go out to dinner in town where we ended up at an authentic Mayan restaurant named Yaxche. We were delighted to get a seat outside on the patio directly next to the busy shopping street appropriately named 5th Avenue. As we finished off the remaining bites of our first course, the couple from Canada suddenly appeared and greeted us warmly. Both my partner and I offered them to sit down and join us, but they said they had already eaten. Being as friendly as we are, we said they could still join us if they didn’t mind us eating while they sat there. They decided to do just that and for the next 20 minutes or so, my partner and I ate our dinner and talked about our life in Toledo, jobs, my recovery from addiction, and a few other random topics.
By the time we took the last few bites of our delicious meals, I decided to express some gratitude by telling this couple how refreshing it was for a couple to embrace our relationship. If there was ever a moment when you could hear imaginary brakes screech to an immediate halt, this was it.
“Well I probably should tell you that my wife and I are both ordained pastors of our own Christian church,” the man said in response.
And that’s where everything began to go downhill.
For the next 45 minutes, he went into what I felt could best be described as a sermon. Neither my partner nor I were barely able to get a word in edgewise as he talked about homosexuality being the downfall of society, that it was an instrument of the Devil, and that the only reason why either of us was gay was due to the sins of our forefathers’ generations back. He cited out those passages from Leviticus in the Bible, as well as the ones that Paul supposedly wrote in the New Testament that continue to be used to denounce homosexuality. He also said his sister was a lesbian and how he keeps trying to get her to reform her ways and be with a man. Through it all, his wife held his arm and nodded approvingly, occasionally throwing in her two cents as well.
I could feel my partner cringing the whole time, biting his tongue, and wanting to scream at them while I, on the other hand, wanted to show this man that I wasn’t going to go to battle with him. I’m sure that’s what he expected and maybe even wanted. In all honesty, I had to pray A LOT while he continued to go on and on about gays and lesbians and occasionally would reach over and touch my partner’s leg letting him know I was there with him through it all. I began to lose some of my composure when this man said that Lady Gaga would face judgment one day because her music is leading young children to be gay and lesbian. My partner almost lost his when the man began to express how AIDS was due to the sins of homosexuals, but thankfully the sermon stopped abruptly when the man saw my partner’s reaction.
All in all, he must have told us a dozen times during his preaching how he liked us and that this wasn’t directed towards us one bit, which made me truly wonder if he understood just how judgmental and unloving he had been with us. The persecution I felt from them during those 45 minutes was like nothing I had ever experienced before, but through it all I not once said a single negative thing to either of them. Why? Because I know that Jesus, God, or any of the master spiritual teachers and leaders that have ever walked this Earth would never have expressed anything but unconditional love towards my partner and I.
So the only thing I said to this couple in the end was the God I know loves us unconditionally and totally supports our monogamous relationship. He said that if that was true, he wouldn’t want to serve a God like that, and with that, the evening would end a few minutes later on the most awkward note. My partner and I were both cordial by shaking hands and wishing them a good night, as we quickly walked away stunned and hurt.
Unfortunately, we ran into them a few more times before our vacation ended where with each my partner chose to remain silent and say nothing, while I was still cordial and said hello but not much more. Ironically, I could have spent hours dissecting, cross-referencing, and debating the Bible, Christianity, religion and homosexuality with this couple, but I never did because I knew they weren’t opened to seeing things in any other way. But I also knew that’s not what really mattered either.
I truly believe the only thing that matters in life is to express unconditional love towards every single human being on this planet regardless of what one’s age, race, creed, color, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, religion or disability is. Hopefully one day, this ordained couple from Edmonton, Canada will understand this and lovingly embrace a couple like my partner and I, rather than strike us down as only sinners who need to seek redemption and change our ways…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
They too will face their own judgement on how they treated others, and this and how they treat their lesbian sister may be ones to be judged by the higher power.
It does amaze me how people get judged by those who say they are Christians, yet then their church signs say “All are welcome” but yet they are not that welcoming. I have already prayed for them and wish them well. I only hope they don’t repeat that again with anyone else. Maybe they learned the lesson through us?