Month: April 2015

“I Think I Might Have A _______ Problem…”

“I think I might have a drinking problem…”
“I think I might have a gambling problem…”
“I think I might have an overeating problem…”
“I think I might have a drug problem…”
“I think I might have a _______ problem…”

Have you ever had someone say any of these words to you? Better yet, have you ever said any of these words yourself?

Recently, I attended an AA meeting where this very topic came up solely because someone’s significant other had told them they thought they might have a drinking problem after realizing they soiled themselves in the middle of the night. This fellow AA attendee then asked the rest of us how they should handle it?

As much as it’s hard to say this, just because someone states they might have some type of an addiction problem doesn’t mean they’re ready to do anything about it. Bill Wilson spoke to this extremely well on page 5 in Bill’s Story of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

“Then I went on a prodigious bender, and that chance vanished. I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could not take so much as one drink. I was through forever. Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business. And so I did. Shortly afterward I came home drunk. There had been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? I simply didn’t know. It hadn’t even come to mind.”

The sad truth is that too many people suffering from an addiction to anything will often make lots of false promises to themselves and to others, but never keep them. Instead, they constantly relapse back into it once the painful moment or moments from their last fix have passed.

So as much as I wanted to tell this fellow AA meeting attender that I had high hopes for their significant other, I couldn’t. I’ve watched too many people like my mother, my father, and plenty of fellow recovery-based friends and sponsees relapse over and over and over again, with some eventually even dying from it.

So how did I answer this person’s question that day?

I said you can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t make them drink it. The fact is all my fellow AA attendee can truly do for their partner is invite them to go a meeting, suggest they keep coming back, and advise they find a sponsor as quick as possible. Beyond that, in all honesty, it’s in their partner’s hands to do the rest of the work.

The ultimate truth for pretty much most of us recovering from an addiction is that we had to be pretty badly mangled and filled with constant pain to finally wake up and do something about it. So will soiling oneself be enough for this person’s partner to find recovery and stick around for good? Maybe or maybe not, but that’s really not for me to say. Instead, I leave you with this.

If you or someone else thinks you might be struggling with an addiction problem, know the only person who can do anything about it, is the one who has the problem and no one else…And may God bless you and help you come to that inner truth before too much of your life has passed or it becomes too late…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

10 Reasons Why Someone Might Not Be Finding Serenity In Life

One of my main goals in life is to live in peace and harmony with everyone and everything, no matter what’s going on around me. Seeking this type of serenity is something I’ve been striving for since I was a teenager. Unfortunately, I failed to realize for the longest time that my own actions kept working against me achieving that very thing.

Here are the top ten reasons in no specific order, which I learned from personal experience that always worked against me finding that long-lasting peace, harmony, and serenity I so desperately wanted to have in life…

  1. Chain-smoking. That only made me more aggravated.
  2. Drinking energy drinks or consuming copious amount of caffeinated beverages. That only made me more irritable and impatient.
  3. Yelling at people for not acting the way I wanted. That only made me angrier and more resentful.
  4. Avoiding spending time alone. That only made me more afraid of being alone.
  5. Overstuffing myself with food, especially sweets. That only made me bloated and more uncomfortable in my own skin.
  6. Promiscuity and pornography. That only led me to constantly lust and be incapable of experiencing any true intimacy.
  7. Boozing and drugging. That only placed me in a perpetual roller coaster of stressed-out emotions.
  8. Gossiping and/or backstabbing others. That only gave me more of a negative outlook on everyone, including myself.
  9. Skipping daily prayer and meditation. That only made me become more of a controlling person.
  10. Not practicing daily gratitude. That only made me believe some person, place, or thing would make my life better.

I’m sure there are plenty of other actions I used to do as well that consistently prevented me from experiencing that long-lasting peace, harmony, and serenity. But these are the ones that took their greatest toll on my life and always left me feeling the exact opposite of them, which was restless, irritable, and discontent. Thankfully, I’m not doing any of those things in life anymore and because of it, I can most definitely say I’m finally beginning to experience that which I’ve strived for throughout most of my life…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“If You Have Nothing Nice To Say…”

“…Then Don’t Say Anything At All.”

I grew up in a time when parents seemed to quote this saying to their children a lot. But the ironic thing with my parents was how they struggled quite often to practice it themselves. In fact, I grew up watching them do the exact opposite of that more than not, which ultimately led to me becoming just like them as time passed. It took a long time for me to realize this, but thankfully I finally did. I have to say I’m a lot healthier these days because of it and really have to give this wise adage much of the credit.

The sad truth for most people who regularly say not so nice things about anything or anyone is that they aren’t really that happy within themselves. Placing a negative focus on someone or something else is their way of making sure the focus is never on them. Because if the focus was on them, their fear is that everyone would see just how miserable they are in life.

That’s definitely the pattern my parents lived while I was growing up and it’s definitely the one I did as well for far too many years. I failed to grasp just how unhealthy this behavior was for both this world and myself. Constantly saying not so nice things did nothing but add more negativity to a planet already filled with so much negativity. And the more I did it, the more my health seemed to take a toll. My Higher Power tried to warn me of this before I became as unhealthy as I did, because there were numerous friends, therapists, and holistic practitioners along the way who constantly gave me reminders of this old axiom. It wasn’t until I became as sick as I did mind, body, and soul though before I made any serious attempts to change this.

Nowadays, I do my best to remain positive and upbeat, not only to support my own health and healing, but also to support that in the world too. Interestingly enough, I should mention that I’ve gotten a taste of my own medicine in recent weeks of how I used to be in life. There have been a number of people who have had not so nice things to say of me on Facebook, on my blog, or in the recovery rooms. Being on the recipient end of each of them hasn’t felt so good, not one bit. In fact, it’s felt pretty bad causing me at times to want to give up.

I’m grateful to say I haven’t given up and don’t plan to. And as much as my parents never fully kept to that old adage that says, “If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”, I really am doing my best these days to follow it intrinsically. I honestly believe I’m far healthier because of it and hopefully on some level, I’m also helping to make the world far healthier as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson