Month: July 2015

Q: Did you ever hear what happened with that movie named Constipation?
A: Yeah, it never came out…

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure (Chapters 1 to 17)

Andy’s Woodsy Adventure – Chapter 18

“Where were you all this time?” My sister managed to say in between sobs, as she continued to hug me quite tightly.

“You’re just a little confused right now. I’ve actually been home for awhile.” I said feeling completely clueless on what to do.

“LAURA, IS EVERYTHING OK UP THERE?” My mother shouted again from downstairs.

“MOM, EVERYTHING’S FINE!” I quickly shouted back. “Laura, you’re not going to understand this right now but somehow I accidentally erased your entire memory of me for the past six months.” 

“WHAT?” Laura’s sobs abruptly stopped.

“The only way you’re going to understand what I’m about to tell you is if I show you something first.”

I took the next few minutes to demonstrate the one zodiac power I knew wouldn’t make things worse, which was Libra. After pausing time while touching her hand and then showing her our parents downstairs completely frozen in mid-conversation, I was able to gain her undivided attention and could see she was now somewhat afraid. I then had to take the next hour to recap as best as I could the past six months from the precise moment I went into the woods. I re-told her all about the cave, the three hours of time that really was three years for everyone else, Chris finding out about my powers, learning of his Keeper role in my life, meeting the Council of the Zodiac, beginning my training as a Guardian in the woods, almost killing Chris in the process, her seeing my powers in action with the apple pie and tub of ice cream suspended in mid-air, and finally how I was trying to show her the Virgo ability when I secretly wished I had never told her anything, which somehow erased the entire past six months of her memories of me.

“I’m sorry, I really screwed things up this time. Chris told me not to play around with the Zodiac powers unless he was present, but I didn’t listen and now look what’s happened!” I said truly feeling awful inside.

“Maybe you should try doing the reverse?” My sister said rather calmly given her present circumstances.

“What do you mean?”

“Well why don’t you try using the Virgo ability again, but this time wish for all my memories of you to come back?”

“Do you really think that could work? What if it makes things worse?”

“I don’t think it could possibly get any worse than not remembering the past six months of you being around!”

“Are you sure?”

“JUST DO IT!”

“Ok, ok! Geez! VIRGO!”

 I then looked at my sister just like I had before and wished she would remember me at the police station and every single moment I had been home ever since.

“Anything?” I asked, my heart speeding up slightly in fear.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my brother’s room?!” My sister demanded, looking exceptionally alarmed.

“Oh no! You don’t know who I am now? I knew I shouldn’t have tried this Virgo ability again! Dammit!”

“HA HA! Just kidding! Yes, I remember everything now Andy! I really had you going…”

My sister began laughing so hard she snorted.

“That’s not funny!” I said, as I punched her arm.

“Oww! It kind of was actually!” Laura said as she rubbed her arm and grinned from ear to ear. “Anyway, I think that’s enough excitement for tonight so let’s continue this tomorrow, as I want to know more. And don’t worry, I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Mom and Dad.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night!”

“Goodnight Laura.”

I made sure to deactivate the Virgo sign this time and then slept pretty restless the rest of the night. I have to say I did feel a whole lot better the next morning though when I saw my sister still retaining all of her memories of me. We ended up hanging out together for most of the day talking in great detail about everything I’d gone through so far since re-emerging from the cave. Chris came over that afternoon and hung out with us for a while as well, but wasn’t all too happy when he learned Laura now knew everything. He was even more perturbed when he discovered I had wiped her memories of me while showing off the Virgo ability and gave me the “I told you so” routine because of it. Thankfully, Chris didn’t hold onto a grudge and got quickly over it. By the time the day ended, it felt pretty good to know I now had two people in my life that I could be fully honest with about anything, especially with all this Zodiac stuff.

The next two weeks went by with nothing overly noteworthy to make mention of other than a few moments at school where I really wanted to play a prank or two on Trevor, the biggest school bully, along with his cronies. I was so tired of their constant picking on me that it made the allure of using the crystal to get back at them all the greater. I never did though, only because Chris continued to remind me of the great responsibility I had, as well as Council’s warnings. I guess I should also mention he did have me do some more training over both weekends back by the pond again, while Laura tagged along and watched. We didn’t try to take on any new Zodiac signs though, as Chris wanted to polish up the ones I already knew.

RING…. RING…. RING… “Hello? Oh, hold on a minute Chris, I’ll see if he’s ready.”

The ringing telephone had interrupted the thoughts I was having of my most recent training exercises. My father suddenly peeked his head in my door and handed me the phone letting me know it was Chris. I was just about fully dressed in my Halloween costume, getting ready for my final night of trick-or-treating. Next year I’d be too old to do it, which is why Chris and I had decided to have one last hurrah with it tonight.

“Hello?”

“Are you almost ready?” Chris said somewhat impatiently.

“Just about. I could always pause time if you want me to speed things up.”

“Ugh! No just hurry up!”

Ironically I was going as DC’s The Flash for my final night of candy hunting, even though I was taking so long to get ready. Chris had opted to go this year as Batman, which I thought was quite fitting as well given his role as a Guardian.

“I’ll be over in ten minutes Mr. Impatient.”

“Ok. See you then.”

I hung up the phone and then finished getting ready. After sprinting down the stairs and getting a 9pm curfew from my parents, I raced out the front door and headed immediately for Chris’s. When I arrived at his house, he was already waiting at the end of his driveway, bag in hand.

“You know we could have had a lot more time to trick-or-treat if I had used my powers.” I said as I greeted him with a fist bump.

“Yeah, and you probably would have erased all your family’s memories in the process…”

“Ha Ha. Very funny!” I said chuckling. So where to first?”

“Well it’s 6:30pm, we have about two hours to get as much candy as possible, so let’s go that way where there seems to be a lot more porch lights on.”

We headed off in the direction he had pointed to and began filling up our bags quite rapidly, only because we did more running than walking between houses. The first hour flew by far too quickly, but what was pretty cool is that just about every house so far had complimented us on our costumes. We had actually spent week’s prior deciding what to go as, using superheroes as the theme, and when we finally had made our minds up on what to go as, our parents ordered them for us online. They weren’t the cheap kind of costumes either, as both were leather-based and extremely authentic looking.

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… HOOOONK! HOOONK!

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… HOOOONK! HOOONK!

Two fire engines suddenly screamed by halting our latest approach to the next house.

“We need to follow them!” Chris said unexpectedly.

“What???”

“Come on!” Chris said, as he began to run as fast as he could in his Batman costume down the road, while I tried did my best to keep up with him.

I’m sure it looked fairly funny watching two costume-laden superheroes race after those fire trucks. I tried not to think about it or how uncomfortable I was running in my leather suit. As we drew near the last place we had seen the trucks off in the distance, the stench of smoke filled the air.

“There!” Chris said, as he pointed to the next street over where the strobing lights of the fire trucks were still flashing brightly.

As we arrived on the scene, a large two-story house was completely engulfed in flames. Outside it was a middle-aged woman screaming over and over again at the firemen who were just beginning to douse it with a huge torrent of water from each of the truck’s hoses.

“MY CHILDREN ARE STILL INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!”

“MA’AM WE ARE DOING OUR BEST TO CREATE AN ENTRANCE FOR US TO GO IN THERE AND RESCUE THEM!”

“OH MY GOD, JAKE, NOAH, OH MY GOD!”

“Andy, I think it’s time for you to finally become a real superhero…” Chris said turning away from the sobbing woman and blazing fire, now looking very intently upon me.

As the frantic woman continued to scream and sob for her two sons, I knew Chris was right. It was time to become a true Keeper…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson