Month: April 2016

“I’ve Got It This Time!”

“I’ve got it this time!” I’ve often heard these words or something similar spoken from people at recovery meetings who have just come off living in another extended period of addiction. Unfortunately, I’ve also watched as most of them stuck around for awhile with that gung ho attitude and then eventually disappeared again due to another relapse.

What I’ve learned over the years from my own struggles with addiction is that anytime I find myself needing to declare anything like this at a meeting for recovery is really just coming from my ego trying to convince myself that it’s true and usually it wasn’t.

Instead, what I’ve found to be more tried and true is that when I’m fully getting the recovery program and actually living it, there is no need to vocalize it, as it’s already being demonstrated in all my actions. Unfortunately, so many come into the rooms of recovery with bruised ego’s and think they need to save face with everyone there who has seen them live in a vicious cycle for far too long. What they don’t realize though is the best thing they can do is just listen. Listen to those who have remained sober for a good, long time and listen to how they are living their recovery.

The sad thing though is that many newcomers never quite grasp this principle. They think they need to speak about how much they are getting the program solely because their ego tells them they need to do this. The simple fact is that their ego is still running the show. I should know as I did this very thing for over a decade in the rooms of recovery. And every time I said “I’ve got it this time”, I ultimately didn’t. I only wanted to make myself believe I did to boost my beat-up ego.

So the best advice I can give anyone who is feeling the need to declare to a room of people in recovery that they “got it this time” is to do whatever they can to refrain from saying that. There’s more harm in saying this, then good because it becomes even harder to come back from another relapse if one should happen again. Instead, it’s far better to remain silent and just listen. Listen to those who have already done the work for some time and still are. In doing so, I honestly believe a newcomer will stand a much better chance of sticking around and remaining clean and sober for good…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“They Got What They Deserve!”

A friend of mine from SAA told me the other day a very disheartening thing. He had been talking to a tenant in his building about another tenant who had suddenly passed away that also just so happened to have been a convicted sex offender. When he told me this other tenant he had been speaking to said “They got what they deserve!”, it really broke my heart.

Sadly, I’m sure many others out there in the world would probably agree with this negative comment. I don’t though because I believe all people are worthy and deserving of forgiveness. In all honesty, it truly does bother me when I hear things like this. I do my very best to operate off of the same principles that Jesus did when he was alive. After all, wasn’t he the one who forgave Mary Magdalene for being a prostitute and told her to go and sin no more, which indeed she never did. And from what my friend told me, the tenant who passed away never did either. In fact, he had been known to be quite generous and giving of his time in the building he lived in, always trying to reach out and help others. Yet, unfortunately, he never could quite shake that stigmata of being a convicted sex offender, as it continued to taint the views of him by others such as from this tenant.

Look, I was molested myself as a 12-year-old, but I also did the work to forgive the one who molested me when I got older. Whether he went on to do the same behaviors to anyone else or not I can’t say. What I can say though is that I freed myself from feeling or saying those disparaging comments like what this tenant had said.

In the SAA program, I’ve met many who are convicted offenders, some for the slightest of thing, and others for some pretty serious acts. Regardless of their offenses though, I’ve always treated them with unconditional love, forgiveness, and peace because if I didn’t, I’d be going against the spiritual teachings I’ve been learning these past few years of my life.

I absolutely want to do my very best to live as Jesus did, to love as Jesus did, and to forgive as Jesus did. But I must say it takes a lot to do that. It took me looking into my past and releasing all resentments, all anger, and all hate. And it took me learning to practice doing that on a daily basis in the present as well because things happen all the time around me that can really challenge this.

The bottom line though is that I believe deep down in every single human being on this planet is a piece of God. So why shouldn’t everyone then be worthy and deserving of unconditional love and forgiveness, including those that are convicted sex offenders? Maybe if we gave them all a lot more of that, there might be a lot less repeat offenders and negative energy floating around towards them…

Peace, love light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson