Today’s entry is really a hypothetical thing to ponder for all those recovering from some sort of an addiction. My question is this…If a meteor or some other phenomena was definitely going to destroy the earth in the next six months, would you maintain your sobriety from whatever your former addiction was?
I know this might seem like a strange question, but it’s one I’ve posed in multiple ways over the years and the answers I’ve gotten have varied. Some have said they wouldn’t, saying they’d probably go out in a haze instead, while others have said they’d absolutely maintain their sobriety till the bitter end.
In my case, I’d like to believe I’d hold onto the sobriety I have from all my former addictions till my last waking breath. It really is my hope and desire to live out the rest of my life clean and sober from all the things that used to be so poisonous to my existence.
I mean what’s the point of relapsing if some tragic thing is coming. I’ve stayed numb for far too long in my life and binging on things like alcohol, sex, drugs, cigarettes, or anything else would only impair me from experiencing whatever peace and joy I can experience for my last remaining breaths on this planet.
So whether the world was ending, or even if I was diagnosed with something that was going to end my life in the near future, wouldn’t make a difference to my determination these days to stay sober. Sobriety and recovery from an addiction-laden life is that important to me now because if I didn’t have it, I’d probably have very little going well for me in my life. Why? Because every addiction I ever succumbed to always took from me everything that brought me peace and joy.
I believe there is a key to all this, as to why I am so determined to remain clean and sober even if I knew the world was going to end. That key is the fact I have am seeking something greater than myself to guide me these days. I couldn’t say that five or so years ago, as back then and most of the years prior, I was the one attempting to control most of my life.
Thus I guess you could say my answer to this question, during all those years when I wasn’t looking for God to guide my life on a daily basis, would be very different. As without God I had no hope whatsoever and with no hope whatsoever, hearing the world was going to end would only have made me even more hopeless. And in a hopeless state, the only thing I ever wanted to do was engage in an addiction to numb myself.
Thank God I’m not living in that hopeless existence anymore. And thank God I can answer this hypothetical question now with more of a surety that I would do everything I could to maintain my sobriety, even if I learned the world was going to end in six months. Because at least then in my last dying breaths, I’d know I was still serving the God of my understanding with all my heart, mind, and soul, instead of only serving myself…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
True sobriety, to me, means I have been relieved of the obsession. So, it wouldn’t occur to me to even question my sobriety. And what if the end of the world is really the beginning of a new existence? I’d like to be sober for that also.