Silly Joke #1
A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin swearing.When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old says, “When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I’ll say ‘hell’ and you say ‘ass’.” The 4-year-old happily agrees. As the two boys are seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walks in and asks her older son what he would like to eat for breakfast. The 7-year-old replies, “Aw hell, Mom, I’ll just have some Cheerios. The surprised mother reacts quickly. “WHACK!” The boy runs upstairs, bawling and rubbing his behind. With a sterner note in her voice, the mother then asks the younger son, “And what would YOU like for breakfast?” “I don’t know,” the 4-year-old blubbers, “but you can bet your ASS it’s not gonna be Cheerios!”
Silly Joke #2
Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. He said, “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.” When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!”, the doctor told him. “You did this just by following my instructions?” The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”“From hunger, you mean?” “No”, replied Mr. Johnson, “from skipping!”
Silly Joke #3
A businessman boarded a flight and was lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman…… They exchange brief hellos and he noticed she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replied, “This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What’s yours?” “Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
