Silly Joke #1
Shut Up and Trouble were walking down a path. Trouble got lost. So, Shut Up went to the police officer. The police officer asked, “What’s your name?” He answered, “Shut Up.” He asked again “What’s your name?””Shut Up.” The police officer asked, “Are you looking for trouble?!” “Yeah, I lost him down a path about two miles ago.”
Silly Joke #2
“I’m sorry doctor, I know this is highly unusual but I seem to have gotten a piece of lettuce stuck in my bottom!””Good grief” the doctor replies “I’d better take a look!” “It’s worse than that” the doctor finally says after the examination, “It looks like it’s just the tip of the iceberg!”
Silly Joke #3
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class his teacher asked, ‘What do you have in your hand. ‘The boy said, ‘A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.’He was then sent to the principal’s office and the principal asked him, ‘What do you have in your hand. So, the little boy said, ‘A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.’ He was sent home and his mom asked him ‘What do you have in your hand.’ So the little boy said, ‘A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.’ He was sent to his room and his dad came in and said, ‘What do you have in your hand.’ So again, the little boy said, ‘A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.’ Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, ‘Open your hands!!!’ And as the little boy did, he said, ‘Look Dad, now you scared the crap out of him!!!’
Bonus Adult Silly Joke
One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the postman comments. Bob in obvious pain replies, “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. We got so drunk around midnight that we started playing ‘Who Am I.'”The postman thinks a moment and says, “How do you play that?” Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our “privates” showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.” The mailman laughs and says, “Damn, I’m sorry I missed that.” “Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responds. “Your name came up four or five times.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
