Month: September 2019

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday entry where gratitude is always expressed for someone or something that has truly touched my life, which for today is for Dick A., a humble, yet very dedicated member of my Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) home group.

There are some people who just have a way about them that exudes peace and serenity, two things that are so often sought after in this world, especially in the rooms of recovery from addiction. Ever since meeting Dick four years ago when I first joined my existing AA home group, I immediately noticed those two traits about him. Kind and considerate, friendly to talk to, and consistently shaking everyone’s hands with a huge smile to warmly welcome them there, Dick became someone I looked forward to seeing.

Not once have I ever seen Dick lose his cool, which says something, because many of us in the rooms of recovery tend to have our moments from time to time where we totally lose it. Not Dick though, he seems to be the great meditator of our group, frequently helping to resolve conflicts amongst ourselves or with attendees to our meeting as well.

I remember one time when this guy who regularly attended our meeting that wasn’t a member, came several weeks in a row with an incredibly negative attitude, putting people down who shared and noticeably hurting others in the process, including some newcomers. Finally, after seeing the growing disturbance from this guy’s behaviors, our group decided someone needed to speak to this attendee and ask them to be kinder and more considerate of those who were sharing there. We assigned Dick to the task who handled the entire situation with grace, never once breaking a sweat or showing any sort of negative tension, even when the guy got angry and stormed out.

Another thing I appreciate about Dick is the generosity the man has. He’s opened up his home to our group each year for an annual cookout where he prepares a feast for us all to enjoy. And from what I’m told, he’s been doing this for far longer than the few years I’ve been a member of the group. Along the same lines, I mustn’t forget the fact that Dick is considered the “fruit guy” at our meeting, as weekly, he shows up with several bags of fresh fruit that he personally cuts up and gives away to the attendees of our meeting.

Dick just celebrated 27 years of sobriety and is someone that I feel stands for much of what I seek in my own program of recovery. One of the first to show up each week to help set up and usually the last to leave, even at his age in his 80’s, Dick continues to demonstrate a program of recovery that is more about being selfless than selfish, giving than receiving, and unconditionally loving than judgmental.

As you can see there’s a lot to be grateful for when I think of Dick A., a beautiful man with a heart of gold whom I’m proud to not only be a member in the same group as him, but also to call him a friend as well.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, a time for sharing a slice of gratitude from my life, which for today is for my good friend Frank, who just so also happens to be a priest of over 40 years.

Being that I’m not Catholic and never have been, it’s almost strange to think that one of my closest friends from this area is a priest, and in his late 70’s at that. How we met actually came under some pretty sad circumstances though in that one of his nephews happened to also be one of my first sponsees here, who tragically overdosed back in the summer of 2014. I spoke at his nephew’s funeral, after which he and I got to talking, where his initial interest was to have me speak in his town about alcohol and drug addiction. While that speaking engagement never quite came to fruition, what did was an unexpected friendship with someone who has ever since become a pretty close buddy in my life.

Frank is one of those friends you can share anything with and trust it will remain with him and him only. In today’s day and age, where gossip seems to be the norm for far too many people, Frank values and respects the privacy of others at a very deep level. I’m sure his long-standing service as a priest has led to such a good personal attribute, but in all reality, I tend to believe it’s just in his nature to be this way.

Frank is also an extremely generous guy. From the start he initially consistently wanted to treat me to any of the meals we had together. Eventually we settled on alternating who treats who, yet time and time again, he’s usually the first person to offer to pick up the tab when circumstances arise for a guest to join us. But his generosity doesn’t stop there, as Frank is also extremely generous with his time. I’ve seen him volunteer on a number of fundraisers for good causes even though he’s now retired. He continues to do several services a week in his spare time as well and in addition, frequently visits people in their homes, travels long distances just to see a friend who’s incarcerated, regularly offers personal counseling for anyone who may need it, presides over many funerals and weddings, and a lot more. If anything, I think Frank is probably going to be of service until his body won’t let him anymore, as it’s just who he is. Oddly enough, Frank even still takes large groups of people on tours to places like Germany and Italy, where there he provides his groups a wealth of knowledge on the various tours they embark upon.

But, the biggest thing I treasure about Frank, that thing I’m most grateful for when it comes to him, is that I know he would be there for me in any dire circumstance. He’s told me I’d have a place to stay if I ever became homeless, would visit me if I somehow landed a stint in the hospital, provided a shoulder for me to cry on countless times, and has continued to pray for me multiple times a day for years now, all because of my longstanding bout with physical pain and suffering.

While I know that the Catholic church and priests in general haven’t had the best of reputation in the past decade or two with all the scandals that have arisen, I can promise you that my friend Frank is someone who stands far apart from all of that. Frank has been a loyal servant of God and given himself to the Lord more than anyone I’ve ever personally known. It’s a big reason why I’m so proud to call Frank one of my dearest friends and am very thankful that God brought him into my life here, as he truly has helped to curb some of the feeling of loneliness and depression I regularly feel inside.

So yes, I have plenty to be grateful for when it comes to my friend Frank, as much as I believe that God is very grateful for Frank too, as Frank is someone who definitely has helped to make this world a much better and brighter place to be in for what I can see has been the bulk of his life…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another chapter of Grateful Heart Monday, where the focus is always on a single piece of gratitude to start the week off on a positive note, which for today is for going on the first of hopefully many future retreats with a small group of men from the ManKind Project (MKP) about a week ago now at Proud Lake State Park.

It’s probably best I at least qualify first what MKP is before I get into my specific gratitude from the retreat. MKP is a men’s organization that isn’t based upon any specific religion or spiritual understanding, whose main purpose is to help men heal from those deep-seated wounds that standard paths of healing don’t quite seem to help, wounds like my father’s suicide that only MKP in the end helped me to overcome.

Nevertheless, as part of my 20-year tie now to MKP, I continue to stay active in the organization by meeting bi-weekly with six other brothers, where our only sole purpose is to create deeper connections to each other, to become men of integrity in all areas of our lives, and to help each other continue to face and work through any of those deep-seated wounds and blockages that may still be within each of us. As part of our brotherhood, our group of men decided back in the Spring to begin embarking upon an annual retreat, solely for the purpose of helping us to grow closer to each other. It was decided that our first retreat would be scheduled for the weekend after Labor Day.

Now that it is over, I must say, I have much to be grateful for from the retreat, as I find myself reflecting upon it. For the two cooks, Les and Chris, who prepared all our delicious meals for the entire weekend, for the nature walks I took with Robb where I learned about everything from wild mushrooms to trees that can break a chainsaw, for the “Would You Rather”, “Rotten Apples”, and “Never Have I Ever” games we laughed so hard playing, for the constant outdoor fire that mesmerized us through its dancing flames throughout the entire time there, for my own reflective nature walks I took that lifted my spirits every time I went on them, for Kyle’s guitar playing and singing that always seemed to lull me into a sense of peace whenever it happened, for the deep work John did to overcome a very painful issue from his past, for Jeff being able to come for even a part of it in light of one of his family member’s passing during it, for the enjoyment that buying 8 eight large bags of every variety of M&M’s brought all of us, for the many beautiful wildlife creatures that kept on visiting us such as the brightly-colored dragonflies and caterpillars, for the communal meals we all had together where we dined as a family, for the lodge itself we stayed in that became like home for a few days, for the weather that felt perfect in every way, and for even feeling a whole lot of sadness when we finally had to say goodbye to each other to head home, I truly have a lot to be grateful for with our first annual retreat with my fellow MKP brothers.

I now have much to look forward to a year from now, when we embark upon our second retreat, but in the meantime, I’m just so very thankful and feeling blessed for my Higher Power bringing together such an eclectic bunch of guys during a weekend that most definitely touched my heart and everyone else’s there as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to a new week and a new Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude always kicks things off on a positive note, which for today is for my recent attendance to the opening game of the season for the Michigan Wolverines football team.

At first, I must admit, I planned on writing an article about my attendance to this game in a far different light, one that would have painted it with anything but gratitude. But the more I pondered it, the more I realized there was plenty to be grateful for in the many challenges I faced while there.

Probably the biggest challenge I faced that became a blessing from attending this game was knowing I did it sober, especially in light of the number of people there who weren’t. From a present stance, being amidst so many who were pounding beer after beer and downing many of those tiny liquor bottles in the bathrooms would have once triggered me into wanting to do the same. Today, not so much, as was evident in how that was the farthest thing from my mind watching so many individuals getting plastered all around me. Getting numb by alcohol or drugs was once my only solution to attending any type of event, especially a sporting one. Nowadays though, through my 12 Step recovery work, I have learned that I can stand amongst thousands of partying people and still enjoy it, yet sober.

Another challenge I faced that became a blessing from attending this mega sporting event was how I was able to do an incredible amount of walking while there, even in the state of physical pain I was in that night. If you’ve never been to the Michigan Stadium before, fondly nicknamed The Big House, then you probably don’t know just how big the monstrosity actually is. Besides the fact that it’s the largest college stadium in the United States and seats well over 100,000 people, it’s a sheer hike just to get around it. I decided during the game that I wanted to explore the entire venue and get away from the throngs of people seated in the stands all around me, so I walked the entire circuit. It took me about 20 minutes, mostly due to the vast crowds. Add in the rather long distance we had on foot to and from where we parked, I definitely got some much-needed exercise and a wealth of gratitude that I was able to walk as much as I did.

And I mustn’t forget to mention the last challenge I faced at the game which dealt with seeing all the camaraderie and school spirit amongst all the undergrads who sat in one large section of the stadium. Back in the day, during my own college days, I rarely attended any university function, especially the biggest which were always the Division 1 hockey games. Sadly, I never went to a single one because frankly I was too focused on expanding my drinking career. I know I missed out on developing some real lasting friendships in college because of it and don’t have any memories of loud cheering and high fives with my old fellow students. So, in light of this, I had to work rather hard to find a blessing in it and what I discovered is that I was ultimately grateful for all those students there who weren’t following in my former footsteps, who weren’t sitting in dark rooms getting drunk or high while such a fantastic sporting event was going on. And just as much, it truly was a gift to share a little in that, even if it was as an adult at an alma mater that wasn’t my own.

So, in the end, while I may have struggled fiercely with remaining present at the opening Michigan game due to a number of challenges I was having that night, I found much to be grateful for and am feeling blessed now I was able to experience it.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, where the focus is always on a piece of gratitude from my life, which for today is for a beautiful soul named Tim A. who was a member of my AA home group that recently passed away from a long battle with pancreatic cancer.

I didn’t know Tim very well, but he did make a big impact upon my life in a very short period of time, mostly for the fact that he was a constant fighter, having lived far beyond what the doctors originally gave him for a life expectancy. And even though the terminal disease that impaired so much of Tim’s everyday living during the last few years of his life constantly seemed to take a heavy toll upon daily stamina, he never stopped giving, caring, and doing his best to practice his recovery one day at a time, to the best of his ability.

Having lived myself in chronic pain for as long as I have, I admired this part of Tim and his extreme tenacity. Frankly, he inspired me to keep going and to not let any of my unfortunate circumstances get the best of me. While I never got the chance to develop a very deep connection with Tim while we were in group together, I still felt a closeness in my heart because of the smile he put on his face more than not.

Sometimes I really find it hard to smile with how I feel inside about my life and my ongoing health issues, yet Tim overcame way more pain than I have ever faced and he did it on a daily basis more than not along with a big smile at that! In fact, every time I greeted him with his customary fist bump, his smile felt so truly genuine that I felt he was carrying his heart and unconditional love on his sleeve for me, and everyone else for that matter, to appreciate.

Another thing I truly valued about Tim was the small extra gift he always put in the collection basket each week during our AA group as it was passed around, that being a few tootsie pops for the counter of the donated money to enjoy. On some level, this strange gift may seem inconsequential to most, but to me it showed a man who was consistently kind, considerate, and thoughtful more of others than himself, even on days where most others would have found it hard to keep going.

A truly humble soul that I wished I had gotten to know much better, Tim is someone I am very much grateful for even in the briefest of times our paths intersected. He will absolutely be missed in my life and I know from many others as well, each who most certainly have their own long lists of gratitude for a man who certainly touched the lives of countless souls while he was alive.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson