Have you ever had that feeling inside like something bad, possibly even really bad, is about to happen? I’ve been having that very feeling a lot lately and I can’t seem to shake it no matter what I do.
I’m not sure whether it has to do with our country being so completely divided right now and hearing constant talks of civil wars and states seceding, or whether it’s knowing that guns have been selling out everywhere and the fact that many I know who’ve never owned a gun and been anti-gun now own several or more, or whether it’s related to these COVID vaccines that have been so completely rushed to approval that it doesn’t seem like they’ve had enough time to get fully tested to know their true impact upon the masses, or whether it’s connected to the countless abnormal weather patterns that have been happening and all the oddities I’ve observed in how nature is responding to them, or dare I even say this last one, could it be related to the growing reports of possible sightings of UFO’s that even seem to be making our headline news now, along with all those strange monoliths appearing in random places across the globe? 2020 really has been such an exceptionally unexplainable year, so who knows, maybe why I’m feeling this impending sense of doom is related to all of this or maybe it’s related to something else altogether. Frankly, I don’t know.
What I do know is that I don’t feel any sense of peace or normalcy in life anymore and I also feel like everyone is acting out of sorts, doing out of sorts type behaviors that don’t make any bit of sense to me. And given how I’ve always been a person extremely capable of understanding people and why they act certain ways, I find myself second guessing why anyone is acting the way they are now.
Truth be told, I just feel generally afraid of our future now and what it holds for all of us and I really don’t want to be. I feel like I should have a greater sense of faith in my Higher Power currently, but I’m definitely feeling like I’m falling quite short in that department lately. Prior to this pandemic though, I most assuredly didn’t feel that way, but here I am, ten months later, feeling like I’m living in an alternate reality, like somehow, I was transferred into a multiverse, to say Earth-2 for example. Of course, I’m joking about the multiverse part, but really, I feel completely at odds with our present reality.
Having spent the better part of a decade accepting incredible physical limitations due to health conditions out of my control, what’s been happening in 2020 seems like icing on a cake that doesn’t taste good at all. Sometimes lately, I even wonder if we’re suddenly going to see a headline hit our airwaves that says a huge asteroid is hurtling towards the earth, i.e. Deep Impact or Armageddon! I know, I know, maybe I’ve just watched too many doomsday movies over the years that filled my mind with plenty of post-apocalyptic visions, or maybe the absurdness of 2020 has simply got to me to too much and made them all appear far too real in the sense that anything crazy could happen now.
I most assuredly don’t know though what the future holds for my health, for our country, or for our planet, and although I wish I did, I know the only thing I can do in the midst of feeling like this, like something bad is about to happen, is trust that God has it all under control. Ultimately, that’s what’s kept me going for the past decade as I’ve suffered from one painful ailment after another with no end in sight. So, I guess it is time to totally apply that to this fearful feeling of our imminent future and trust that the same Source that’s guided me safely thus far, will continue to guide me safely through whatever else is meant to happen.
Peace, love, light and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
