Silly Joke #1
A Rabbi who’s been leading a congregation for many years is upset by the fact that he’s never been able to eat pork. So he devises a plan whereby he flies to a remote tropical island and checks into a hotel. He immediately gets himself a table at the finest restaurant and orders the most expensive pork dish on the menu. As he’s eagerly waiting for it to be served, he hears his name called from across the restaurant. He looks up to see 10 of his loyal congregants approaching. His luck, they’d chosen the same time to visit the same remote location! Just at that moment, the waiter comes out with a huge silver tray carrying a whole roasted pig with an apple in its mouth. The Rabbi looks up sheepishly at his congregants and says, “Wow – you order an apple in this place and look how it’s served!”
Silly Joke #2
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a nature history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?” One child was ready with the answer, “They don’t have a union?”
Silly Joke #3
While carpenters were working outside the ornate house an elderly woman had just bought, she busied herself with some indoor cleaning. She had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay, she looked at his muddy boots and then to her newly-scrubbed floors. “Just a minute,” she said, thinking of a quick solution. “I’ll put down some newspapers for you ok?” “Look lady,” he responded. “I’m already potty trained!”
Bonus Silly Joke (Four Quick One-Liners!)
Q: You know what really makes me smile?
A: Facial muscles!!!
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common?
A: They all get the house.
Q: What is a committee?
A: A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?
A: A desserter.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
