Silly Joke #1
It has been reported that veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew he was kneaded”. Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and… one in the oven.
Silly Joke #2
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the local golf course, and I was visualizing my upcoming shot at the first hole, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. “Would the gentleman on the Ladies Tee back up to the Men’s Tee, please!!” I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement–“Would the MAN on the WOMEN’S Tee kindly back up to the Men’s Tee.” I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike and shouted back, “Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot?!”
Silly Joke #3
Last year a blonde replaced several windows in her house and they were the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. One day, she suddenly got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and she had yet to pay for them. She got really upset and proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told her last year. . that in one year the windows would pay for themselves!!! There was a very long silence on the other end of the line after that, so she just hung up and was grateful that she had set him straight.
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult humor)
A very well know rich man, but not all too attractive man meets a woman at a bar and asks her, “Would you have sex with me for 10 million dollars?” Without skipping a beat she screams “Oh God, yes!” The man then asks, “Well, what about for $20?” She looks at him angrily and says,” What do you think I am, a whore?” The man says “Well, we’ve already established that you are, so now we’re just negotiating…”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson