Month: June 2021

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday entry, where gratitude remains my only focus at the start of each week’s writing, which for today is for my recent trip to Saugatuck, Michigan for four nights and three days, where I actually experienced a few things I haven’t in a very long time.

First off, I want to say I’m grateful for even taking a small vacation, given I haven’t had one in almost a year due to the pandemic, which had made travel very undesirable. But, beyond that, Saugatuck, which is often said to be the Provincetown of the Midwest, was a place I had on my Midwest bucket list of places to see since moving to this part of the country, so I was grateful to finally get to visit it. Nestled midway up the shores of Lake Michigan, Saugatuck is an artsy-type of community where many LGBTQ come for beach getaways. My partner Chris and I were really wanting one of those, hence the desire why we chose this small town to visit during our birthday week in June.

The first thing I was truly grateful for during this trip was the weather. It is true what they say around here in this Great Lakes region that the weather changes every five minutes. Prior to leaving for our trip, the weather forecast for Saugatuck went from sunny and mid low to mid 70’s, to cloudy and mid to high 80’s, to muggy rain-soaked thunderstorm-filled days. Ironically, it was all far better than what was predicted, as the weather ending up being sunnier than not, raining for only brief periods, and where I got to experience an occasional dense misty fog rolling off the sea, which I found very serene, especially when the sea always looked so calm afterwards.

Beyond the weather, one thing I also had immense gratitude for from this trip was how many lighthouses I got to see. I really have an affinity towards them ever since my last relationship and try to see them anytime I’m passing through any coastal area where one is there. On the way to Saugatuck, we started with Michigan City light and worked our way up the coastline seeing five different ones till we got to Saugatuck. The second day there, we headed north up to Mears, Michigan to Little Sable Light and worked our way down the coastline doing the same till we got back to Saugatuck, catching another five. I’m not exactly sure why I appreciate these structures as much as I do, but maybe it’s because they’ve withstood the test of time, enduring so many major storms, the seas constantly bashing against them, something I often feel is quite representative of my life. I felt that the most at Grand Haven Light, as rain pelted the long cement pier Chris and I walked out on to see the duel lights. But, maybe the one I appreciated the most was Holland Light, as just when I got there, an afternoon of rain finally parted, a fog was drifting away, and the sun was setting. It was incredibly beautiful and peaceful, something I felt quite a bit with Lake Michigan during this trip, especially when I tackled an athletic activity I hadn’t in well over a decade due to my health issues.

I used to do quite a bit of athletic activities prior to 2010, one of which was kayaking. When I saw the resort offered free use of them on Lake Michigan, I debated whether I could do it. Always one to rise to the challenge of battling my ego, I hopped in a kayak early one afternoon and pushed myself offshore, heading south along the coastline alone. I was so thankful I did because the perspective of Lake Michigan when out on its waters is far different than gazing out upon it. I was amazed at how much mother nature had eroded away the cliffside and destroyed its natural beaches. How many man-made stairways I saw that were swinging in the wind, having been destroyed in the past year were countless. As I paddled for a good mile or so, I really did experience a serenity I hadn’t in a long while, so much so, that I went back out the next day and traversed up the coastline instead. All in all, while I did have some soreness from the task after two days and several miles of doing it, I was extremely grateful I had pushed through my ego, as I enjoyed it immensely.

Something else I also pushed through on this trip that I hadn’t done since 2010 was ride a bike again. The resort also offered use of a number of three-speed bikes. Chris and I opted to bike one afternoon together for about an hour, going through the local neighborhood and seeing some pretty fantastic-looking beach houses and yards adorning the cliffside. At one point, when Chris decided to take a break, I pedaled on for a few more miles on my own, which for someone that has been more inactive physically over the past decade was a pretty significant achievement.

Lastly, I want to thank the resort itself where we stayed, as it really has just about every amenity one would want on a vacation getaway. The Lakeshore Resort, built originally in 1952 and been family-owned ever since, has been totally transformed over the years to an exceptional level. Besides the kayaks and bikes offered there, they have a gorgeous in-ground pool, multiple Adirondack-chair seating areas around the property, walking trails in the woods they own behind them, two firepits, seating on multiple levels on the cliffside, one of which is directly at the lake’s edge, free yoga instruction, and plenty of gardens and grounds that were perfectly manicured and well-maintained. Everyone on the property has a great view of the lake and the sunsets I got to see every day there were stunning. Oh, and for the coffee snob in me, they also use a local place called Uncommon Coffee Roasters that was pretty dam good! When I can spend two entire days doing nothing but lounging around the resort I’m staying at it’s definitely a place I’m enjoying staying at.

Nevertheless, I’m really grateful for all these many positive memories Chris and I created on this trip, including also the cards we played together poolside and at sunset, the places we dined at downtown and up in Holland, and last but not least, the mother deer and her just-born fawn we saw nursing underneath her on our last day there. So much gratitude from our short getaway and one I’ll most certainly never forget.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” (Steven Furtick)

Quote #2

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” (Zen Shin)

Quote #3

“Comparison is the most poisonous element in the human heart because it destroys ingenuity and it robs peace and joy.” (Euginia Herlihy)

Bonus Quotes

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” (Teddy Roosevelt)

“Stop thinking you’re doing it all wrong. Your path doesn’t look like anybody else’s because it can’t, it shouldn’t, and it won’t.” (Eleanor Brownn)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Do You Often Compare Yourself To Others?

On a recent trip away for a few days, I was sitting outside at the gas firepit at the resort I was staying at with other guests on vacation just like myself. It was a nice evening, the sky was clear, the stars were brightly shining, yet I was miserable. Why? Because I kept comparing my life to everyone else’s there.

The one thing I often find myself doing when I talk with others, especially new people that I just met is comparing their life’s achievements to my own, which honestly is probably one of the unhealthiest things a person can do because it either swells one’s ego or deflates it, with major emphasis being placed on the word ego here.

Comparing oneself to anyone is simply an ego-based move. Most who do it generally hope to feel better about themselves when they do it, that somehow maybe they’ve done more, seen more, earned more achievements, accolades, etc., in life. In my case, due to years filled with health problems that drastically have slowed me down, it’s typically been the opposite, where I feel like I’m a nobody after comparing myself to another.

I kind of felt that way after comparing myself with this couple my partner and I met at that resort firepit that night. They had travelled much of the world, lived in some majorly cool areas of the country, worked in a number of amazing jobs that paid very well, been married happily for 21 years with 4 kids who were all successful, and well just seemed like they had lived a pretty darn good life. I think my ego got deflated the most when I learned the woman’s current profession at 46 years old was a professional nanny for a very wealthy family who takes her on trips to places like Hawaii where she gets paid to go on vacation with them and play with the kids in the sand.

Yikes! Just writing about this further deflates my ego even more because on a direct comparison, my ego makes me believe I’m far less relevant or important when I have no real idea of what those people, or anyone really, have gone through, or are going through, that I probably wouldn’t want. It’s a lot like how I feel with Facebook. Most people post happy-go-lucky things on their timelines with smiling faces and cool places, and rarely express their troubles of life. I mean how often do we see people posting that they are in bankruptcy or suffering from addiction or struggling to pay their bills or going through a divorce, etc. The fact is, taken at face value for what one sees or hears with others, especially people they don’t know or just met, it’s a sure deathtrap for the ego comparing oneself to any of them, particularly for someone struggling with a low self-esteem like I have been in recent years.

While I may not have travelled to all corners of the globe, or be in some job presently that is making a serious impact on bettering the planet somehow, or earning a huge paycheck or any paycheck for that matter, or have chiseled muscular features, or have a family, a big home in an exclusive neighborhood, or any number of other ego-coveted things in this life presently, what I do have is a good heart and honest life, filled with a desire to be more selfless than selfish, giving more than taking, accepting more than judging, and kind more than angry. For me, those things are priceless, not just because we live in a world seemingly filled with so much of the opposite these days, but because the former addict in me never had those qualities or even cared about having them.

And ironically, during the majority of my addiction-fueled days, I had the very things my ego often listens for in others at places like resort firepits, but I was never any happier, at peace, or filled with joy when I had them. The more that I remain clean and sober and work on my life in recovery from many former addictions, the more I see how fruitless it is to compare myself to anyone, because I haven’t lived their life, they haven’t lived mine, and honestly, I don’t think God cares. I think what really matters and what God cares about is being there for each other, something I continue to strive for, one day at a time.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson