Silly Joke #1
On the way to kindergarten, a doctor had left his stethoscope on the car seat, and his little girl picked it up and began playing with it. “Be still, my heart,” thought the doctor. “My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!” Then his little girl spoke into the instrument, “Welcome to McDonald’s! May I take your order?”
Silly Joke #2
Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, “Ya know since summer started, I’ve been having trouble with mice in my church. I’ve tried everything–noise, spray, cats–nothing seems to scare them away. The second Pastor then said “Yup, me too. I’ve got tons of them living in the basement of my church. I’ve set traps and even called an expert to get rid of them, yet they still aren’t going away.” With a grin on his face, the third Pastor said, “I had the same problem so I baptized them all and made them members of the church and I haven’t seen one back since!!!”
Silly Joke #3
“I think I need a new doctor!” said Lauren to her girlfriend Karen. “Why?” said Karen. “Well, I went to my doctor recently and he said to me during my checkup, “Don’t eat anything fatty.” “What’s wrong with that advice? Karen responded feeling confused. “Because after that I said, “What, like bacon and burgers? and he said, “No, I mean you, Fatty, don’t eat anything!”
Bonus Silly Joke
An Ohio family of Buckeye football supporters head out one Saturday to an outlet mall to do some tax-free back to school shopping. While in the sports shop Little Johnny picks up a Michigan jersey and says to his older sister, “I’ve decided to become a Wolverines fan and I would like to wear this to school”. His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, “Go talk to mother”. Off goes the little lad with the Michigan jersey in hand and finds his mother. “Mom?” “Yes son?” “I’ve decided I’m going to be a Michigan fan and I would like to buy this jersey”. The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, “Go talk to your father!” Off he goes with the Michigan jersey in hand and finds his father. “Dad?” “Yes son?” “I’ve decided I’m going to be a Michigan fan and I would like to buy this jersey”. The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says,”No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT CRAP!” About half an hour later they’re all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says “Son, I hope you’ve learned something today?” Little Johnny says, “Yes, Dad, I have.” “Good son, what is it?” To which the son replies, “I’ve only been a Michigan Wolverines fan for an hour and already I hate you Ohio State Buckeye bastards.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
