Month: August 2021

The Path of Sober Living Doesn’t Mean Living A Monastic Life…

It’s never intended for a recovering alcoholic to not get around alcohol ever again. It’s just not feasible to avoid being around it permanently when it’s present in so much of the world. The same principle holds true with recovering addicts of all varieties. Entering 12 Step recovery isn’t about living a monastic life, it’s all about helping an individual with a former addiction to learn how to live in a world sober where the substance of their addiction continues to exist all around them.

A recovering food addict for example can’t avoid being around food unless they want to starve themselves to death. A recovering sex and love addict can’t avoid being around attractive people in this world unless they want to become agoraphobic and never leave their home. Quite similar, the recovering nicotine addict can’t avoid people smoking or vaping pretty much anywhere these days. And with marijuana becoming legalized in one state after another now, it’s becoming harder and harder not to be around those freely smoking it, thus challenging a recovering drug addict. The list goes on.

That’s why I’ve learned in my 12 Step recovery life that the stronger my program is and the healthier my spiritual foundation of my life is, that I can be around any of my former addictions. Let me clarify this though, as some newly sober individuals from an addiction might run with this and justify actions that are very unhealthy for them.

I’m not saying that a recovering alcoholic should hang out in a bar regularly. Nor should a recovering drug addict hang out with a friend repeatedly who’s doing a drug regularly they once did. I’m also not saying a food addict should frequent dining places like buffets either. But should a recovering alcoholic be able to attend an event at a bar or shoot pool from time to time for example? Most definitely. Should a recovering drug addict be able to be at a birthday party for example, where someone suddenly lights up a joint for themselves and be ok with that too? Absolutely. And should a recovering food addict be able to be around someone eating something they once had no control over. Certainly. Trying to avoid being around every single trigger from a former addiction would lead to a very lonely and monastic life. But learning how to be around the substance of a former addictions truly takes time. And it takes a lot of work, the core of which is developing a strong relationship with a Higher Power, something all 12 Step programs lead sober individuals to.

My work in 12 Step recovery and my relationship to God has absolutely helped me to dine out with individuals having drinks, to attend parties where someone lights up a joint, to be around those who smoke or vape, and even be friends with people I’m attracted to.

The bottom line is that one doesn’t enter recovery for an addiction to live a monastic life. I tried that, attempting to block myself off from every possible way where the substance of former addictions was present, and I still came across them in some way, shape, or form. That’s why 12 Step recovery is all about learning how to live in a world where those substances of former addictions still exist and having enough of a spiritual foundation from their recovery to not fall back into any one of them whenever they come across our path.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Charlie’s wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat. About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room. The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her. Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, “Well, Doctor, I’ll bet you’ve never seen anything like this before!” The Doctor replied, “Actually, I’ve seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed.”

Silly Joke #2

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started yelling in excitement repeatedly, “Boeing! Boeing!! Boeing!!!” The passengers are getting disturbed and even the Pilot in the cock-pit hears the commotion. Annoyed by the goings on, the frustrated Pilot comes out and heads to her seat and says rather loudly, “Please Ma’am, be silent!” There was now pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the frustrated Pilot. She stares at the pilot in silence for a moment, then concentrates really hard, and all of a sudden starts shouting, “Oeing! Oeing! Oeing!”

Silly Joke #3

NASA had been interviewing professionals to select one candidate to go on a mission to Mars, except they wouldn’t ever be returning to Earth, as it was a one way trip. They were down to the last three candidates in a room together and were planning on choosing one of them. The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much they wanted to be paid for going. “One million dollars,” the engineer answered. “And I would donate it all to my alma mater — Harvard University.” The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked them the same question. “Two millions dollars,” the doctor said. “I want to give one million to my charity and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.” The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he said, “Three million dollars.” “Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked. The lawyer replied, “You give me three million, I’ll give you one million, I’ll keep a million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

Bonus Silly Joke (For Adults)

Three couples went in to see the minister of a very conservative church about becoming new members. The minister said that they would all have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the third couple was newly married. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. “A can of PAINT!!!” exclaimed the minister. “Yeah,” said the newlywed man. “She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then, well, lust took over.” The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome at his church. “That’s okay,” said the newlywed man. “We’re not welcome in Home Depot anymore either…”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.” (Jim Ronn)

Quote #2

“In an effort to create safety and self-reliance in your life and relationships, you may have built walls around your heart and accumulated tension in your body. Although sometimes these walls of protection are useful, they can, over time, act like shells of fear that block your true love. These shells can keep in the love you want to offer fully and keep out the love your heart yearns to receive.” (David Deida)

Quote #3

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” (Jospeh F. Newton)

Bonus Quote

“When we allow the walls around our hearts to become rigid, and stay that way, we assign ourselves a slow death. Like the very air and water that flows through our physical body to sustain it, love must flow through our heart to keep it supple, and to keep us truly alive.” (Jeffrey R. Anderson)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson