The Dark Path Of Suppressing Past Pains And Wounds

Many individuals often spend their entire lives hiding their deepest pains and wounds from everyone, especially themselves. It’s quite easy to do when our bodies have wonderful mechanisms that allow this to happen without much effort. Unfortunately, there is a major downside to this. Each of those pains and wounds that are buried somewhere within are only going to manifest in ugly ways somewhere else in life. Even worse, the negative energy from those past traumas will continue to fester and plague the health of these individuals who do this until they’re dealt with. Sadly, for those who don’t, it becomes quite common to seek out an addiction to something as a coping mechanism.

Being molested at the young age of 12 by an adult male in his mid 40’s left a tremendous amount of pains and wounds within me. My parents never wanted to talk about it after it happened, nor did they ever send me to any type of therapy to help me heal from it. Instead, it got locked away deep inside me. As I grew older, I found that I couldn’t handle any intimacy with anyone. I also saw how any type of aggressive behaviors being directed towards me would send me into a tailspin. But like a good wounded soldier might do, I trudged on and did my best to continue to battle life on life’s terms. What I did know was how I was slowly loosing that battle because of wounds like the molestation that were still living on within me. On some level, they were like a cancer that was slowly eating away at my mind, body, and soul. Anger and rage became common reactions to everything in my daily life because of it. I thought things were fine though because I was still able to go through life on somewhat of a functional level.

The funny thing was that I was actually more dysfunctional than functional. Every aspect of my life was off-kilter because of the pains and wounds that I kept suppressed from that molestation. And that wasn’t the only thing I was keeping buried either. There was the alcoholism in my family, all of my childhood drama, mental and emotional abuses, being bullied, and a lot more of all of that stuck inside me. So how did I deal with it all?

I coped in life by using addictions to get by and stay numb.

Alcohol and drugs were the first two addictions I succumbed to and sex and love were the last that kept me in spiritual prison. When I finally started realizing how much of my past pains and wounds were the driving force of all of the imbalances in life, I started intensely working on myself.

Through 12-Step recovery, therapy, various support groups, the Mankind Project, and of course, getting closer to God, I was able to bring up all that inner poison to the surface and release it once and for all. Thankfully, I no longer carry any of it and interestingly enough, I’m not plagued by active addictions anymore either.

I thank God that my past doesn’t haunt me anymore, either directly or indirectly, in any area of my life. I also thank God for helping me to bring all those pains and wounds to the surface to release me of the bondage from every one of them. It took a lot of faith and courage, but in the long run, it sure has been worth it.

So please understand that if you have been avoiding dealing with any past pains, wounds, or traumas in any area of your life, it’s only going to lead you down dark paths until you start dealing with them. It might not be easy to face them when you do, but through God, courage, and definitely faith, you can and will be free of all of them, once and for all. And just as important, you’ll soon be finding life becoming a whole lot brighter…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

It’s Not “Devil-Stuff” As Much As It’s All About Our Intention…

I’m currently studying the mystic art of Tarot as I’ve always been fascinated by the subject. In fact, it’s my goal to become well versed enough within it so that I may be able to do Tarot readings for others or myself in the near future. Unfortunately, not everyone shares my enthusiasm about studying things such as this. Recently, several individuals in their own way said that they thought something like Tarot readings was “devil-stuff”. What they, and so many others in this world have yet to realize, is that it’s all about intention.

It’s probably best to provide a simple definition of the word “intention” at this point. Coming from Dictionary.com, “intention” is defined as “The purpose or attitude toward the effect of one’s actions or conduct.”

No matter what I am doing these days, the purpose AND attitude of all my actions and conduct is to serve my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God. So whether I am praying, speaking, meditating, listening, or doing any of my other day-to-day activities, I seek God’s will on how to achieve my greatest highest good in life and how best to serve God.

I have learned that there are many ways to seek God’s will. Traditional Christians use prayer and the Bible as their sole source of communing with the Creator. But many of them also open their Bibles to random pages looking for divine guidance and inspiration on what they are going through. For something such as a Tarot reading, it’s really no different. In the book I’m using to study the subject, I have already done several exercises, which have called for me to use a deck of Tarot cards. Each time that I’ve performed those exercises, I have done no different than if I was opening up my own Bible randomly and seeking an answer from God. So prior to doing those Tarot exercises, I asked for only God’s will and guidance. The same principal holds true for me with another mystic art I learned years ago called Numerology. Any time I do one of those readings for an individual, I also pray to God and ask for only God’s will and guidance.

There are many other mystic arts that can be studied as well including runes, astrology, tea leaves, and more. While I haven’t learned any of them specifically yet, I know that if I did, I would still only be seeking God’s highest greatest good. I understand today that there are people out there who don’t practice these mystic arts for God’s highest greatest good though. Instead, they practice with dark intentions, motives, and with ill will towards others. What’s ironic is that I have met many Christians who have told me they sometimes have prayed for pain and hardship to come upon those they resent or hold anger towards. Doing that is no different than taking a deck of Tarot cards and seeking to get answers that would end up hurting someone else.

No matter what I do throughout my day, it really is all about my intention. I could wake up each day and live shrouded in darkness, doing one thing after another that keeps me in that dark. And man, I definitely did that for years while I lived in all my addictions. During those times I did pray for others in a negative way and I did do actions towards many that brought them pain. If I had done any readings during that time, my intention would probably have also been impure. I guess you could say that I was fostering a lot of “devil-stuff” during all those years, but thankfully, I have woken up and begun to seek my true Light.

Now I do the exact opposite in every facet of my life as I pray for love and light everywhere in everything I do. Thus if I do any readings or energy work with anyone, it’s always to help them grow closer to God’s love and light. And as for any of my physical actions these days, I only desire to promote, peace, love, happiness, and joy.

So if you are someone who thinks that things like Tarot readings, Astrology, Numerology, psychics, and more are just “devil-stuff”, please take a moment, breathe, and realize it really is all about intention. Seeking God’s will through using any one of them is no different than seeking God through prayer, the Bible, church, or anything else in this world. God is truly in EVERYTHING; all we need to do is just place our intention there no matter where we seek God…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Purpose Of Having A Home Group In Recovery

Back in the day, it was pretty hard for newcomers to attend any 12-Step recovery meeting without getting noticed by someone and being taken in under their wing. Unfortunately, that’s not necessarily the case anymore. With so many different forms of recovery programs, a vast amount of meetings available at any time, and with so many largely attended groups, it’s relatively easy to slip in and out of a meeting without a single person even saying hello. It’s sad to say, but it’s the truth as I’ve observed it time and time again. While there are those who still go out of their way to greet everyone in the meetings they attend, a good way for a newcomer to get noticed and stay around for awhile is to join a home group.

Joining a home group is one of the main things that are constantly reiterated to newcomers these days in all 12-Step recovery programs. In fact, it usually is thought to be one of the bare essentials to an individual’s recovery. And while it’s unfortunate how many choose not to take this simple action, those that do end up finding great rewards to their recovery and spiritual growth. One of the biggest is it helps to remove the loneliness an addict frequently endures.

When I was in in the throngs of my addictions, friends, family, loved ones, and relationships all tended to fall apart. This often left me in a perpetual state of loneliness and by the time I found 12-Step recovery, I felt the world had long ago forgotten about me. Joining a group helped to change that. It acclimated me to becoming a part of something again and gave me a sense of camaraderie.

Another benefit from joining a home group is the telephone support of its members. Especially during the first year or so when a newcomer is completely overwhelmed by everything, there are going to be plenty of times when a recovery phone call becomes necessary. Having a group phone list helps immensely in this. There were numerous occasions that I utilized those lists on days when everything seemed to be going wrong. Calling group members not only prevented me from going back out with a relapse, it also boosted their own recovery as they practiced the 12th Step in helping me. In addition, calling group members had an indirect benefit as well when I saw that it helped to create new friends.

For me, the most important thing I’ve seen that’s arisen out of being a part of a home group is those friendships I’ve made with group members. Many of the people I spend time regularly with today are from the groups I am a member of. I now enjoy on a weekly basis hanging out with people from my groups doing such things as card game nights, movie outings, coffees and meals, and attending other meetings of all things!

There are many more benefits of joining a home group, as these are just the ones that touched my life the most. I’m currently a member of two different ones as there are no rules to how many a person becomes a part of. The main thing is that I attend them regularly and do my best to get active in each of them. Whether that’s helping to set it up or clean it up, taking on a group duty, calling group members, or something else, each will end up showing you the purpose of having a home group in recovery.

So if you are an addict on any level and are tired of feeling that desolation, despair, and loneliness that comes with it, I encourage you to find 12-Step recovery if you haven’t already. And when you do, join a home group, get active within it, and you will find invaluable benefits coming to your recovery and spiritual growth in life.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson