Daily Reflection

“If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could: and the other, to accept spiritual help.” (p. 25 Alcoholics Anonymous)

I’ve often been told throughout life I was too much of a black-or-white thinking individual, constantly going from one extreme to another. It was repeatedly suggested to me because of it that I should try finding more middle-of-the-road solutions to my problems instead. I actually spent greater than two decades trying to find exactly that when it came to recovery from an addiction-based existence. It never worked out quite well though because I always seemed to end up right back in the same addiction or just engaging in another. It wasn’t until I asked my Higher Power to help me find freedom from them all did any of this change. Thankfully, I’ve been able to go for over three years now without partaking in any of my former addictions and I know the only reason why is due to the spiritual help I continue to ask my Higher Power for on a daily basis. So when I awake in the morning nowadays, I make sure to consistently pray to remain clean and sober from all addictions and that each of my thoughts, words, and actions follow only my Higher Power’s will for that day. It appears to be working far better than all those years where I tried to moderate each of my addictions or find solutions to them that only occasionally used spiritual help. While I may have found plenty of healthy middle-of-the-road solutions to other dilemmas in life over the years, I have to agree that at least for this one, an addiction-based existence, the only one that’s achieved any success is having 100% total dedication to my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God.

I pray to be able to differentiate between the problems in life that would benefit from a middle-of-the road-solution from the problems in life that wouldn’t. And I pray that for each of those that wouldn’t, that I fully seek spiritual help to find total freedom from them, once and for all.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Archangel Michael And His Feathers

My spiritual teacher has told me more than once that I could call upon an Archangel named Michael and ask for his assistance whenever I feel like I needed him. Lately, I’ve actually been doing that very thing quite a bit and truly believe I’ve received many signs of his guiding presence. But the journey to even feeling comfortable doing this has definitely taken some time getting there.

It all started when my spiritual teacher informed me I might find help with my debilitating struggles around my health issues by calling upon this Archangel named Michael. Initially, I was skeptical at best mostly because I was originally taught to only pray to God or Christ and that anything else would be blasphemy. Over the years though, I came to feel that this was too stifling of a view of a God often said to be all encompassing. In my recovery life, Bill Wilson said that God is either everything or he is nothing. For me, I eventually cane to accept the former, and in turn found myself researching and learning about many other ways that God manifests in. At first it was more in notable figures from the bible such as the 12 disciples, of which I did pray at times to some of those like Paul or Peter. But as time moved forward, I learned about the presence of God through other beings such as Archangels from the various books I read. It was said in them that an Archangel was simply one of God’s angels of high-ranking order. I didn’t connect much to this hierarchy at first because it seemed far too military or political and was beyond the realm of understanding I had at the time. But over the past five years, I’ve become open to the existence of God in so many more things, mainly because of where my health and healing processes have taken me.

This is why not too long ago, I found myself researching on the Internet about this Archangel named Michael. Through those studies I learned he helps to release fear and worry so that one can be more open to experiencing the incredible love and light of the Angelic Realm, as well as to live a fun, fulfilling, and passionate life. I also discovered he can help to release negativity, is able to bring the necessary courage for making positive life changes, and can bring comfort to those going through times of great sadness. The most interesting thing I found about Archangel Michael though is that he usually makes his presence known through the use of feathers.

After doing all the research on him and many of the other Archangels as well, it still took me some time to actually feel comfortable enough to call upon Michael with a sincere desire for his help. I’d have to say that the first moment it ever happened was on a particular day when my pain was severe, both physically and emotionally. I can’t remember anymore what I specifically said that day, but the gist was that I truly needed some comfort and reassurance that I was going to be ok.

When I found my first feather, a small white one, shortly after that, I just assumed what my ego was telling me was correct, that it was a mere coincidence. But as time went on, the more I prayed to Archangel Michael, the more it seemed as if feathers of all shapes and sizes were popping up around my everyday life. One morning, there was even a trail of them down my driveway. Another time, I chose a specific place to kneel down in my yard and pray and there in front of me was a small one, but after scanning the ground everywhere else, there were no others discovered. In recent months, they’ve been even more pronounced, some even falling out of the sky from nowhere, landing near or even on me.

As a man who once believed everything could be proven through science, I’m finding that hard to do anymore with the number of times these feathers have so randomly and oddly appeared in my life. I’m sure many might say each were always just a coincidence, but for a man of growing faith such as myself, I take them all now as a sign from one of God’s main helpers, ever reminding me that I’m going to be ok.

So whether you buy into the existence of God or Archangels or anything greater than yourself that’s up to you. But I myself am really coming to accept that there is a Higher Power out there of sorts who does have a team of beings working for him, trying to help us all find greater love and light in our lives. I ultimately feel Archangel Michael is one of those helpers and I’m forever grateful for each one of those feathers he sends me because each bring me a little more hope and a little more joy to help me keep going on all of those days when my ego tells me to give up. Thank you Archangel Michael for not letting that happen…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“Made A Decision…”

The words “Made A Decision” are quite important when it comes to recovery from addiction, as they are part of what I deem to be the most vital step, which is Step 3. It reads, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God” and thankfully, I made three of these decisions over the course of the past 20 years that have fully transformed my life for the better.

The first of those came on June 10th, 1995. At that point, alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes were ruling my life. In fact, I was totally powerless over them and each was downright causing me to self-destruct on a daily basis. This is mainly why I will always remember the precise moment that day when I kneeled down in my bathroom and prayed to a God I had never spent much time with. All I asked in that prayer was for help because I knew if I didn’t get any, I was going to die from the damage these three things were causing me. Then something amazing happened. I felt a presence move through me, one I had never felt before, and when it was over the compulsion to pick up any of these substances left me. It was then I made a decision to never do any of them again and to this day I still haven’t.

The second time I made a decision to turn my will and my life over was on September 7th, 2007. When that day arrived, I had gone 12 entire years attempting to manage my life without any recovery program. Most would say I had lived the total time as a dry drunk because my behaviors were never much different from when I had been actively drinking, drugging, and chain smoking. But something truly amazing happened that night after calling the only friend who continued to believe in me. He had 14 years clean and sober at the time, but they were far different from the twelve I had, as he had continuously worked his recovery program during each of them. During our phone call he asked me to attend his home group in Alcoholics Anonymous that night, of which I accepted. It was there I spoke at a podium in front of at least 100 people where I said I needed help and was willing to do anything. And I meant it. By the end of that evening, after praying to God, I made a decision to work the 12 Steps with a sponsor for the first time in my life and have been on the recovering path ever since.

The third and probably most significant decision I ever made in turning my will and my life over was on April 23rd, 2012. It was on that day that I realized I had been playing tug-of-war with God on what I thought I still needed. While I had remained clean and sober from alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes for almost 17 years by that point, I had discovered many other addictions that I wasn’t quite ready to give up. While God kept on giving me plenty of signs how none of them were serving my highest good, I never listened and was becoming spiritually sick all over again because of it. I remember waking up early that morning, shaking because of that growing sickness, and knew what I needed to do. I prayed to God for the strength and it came because when a phone call arrived from the last toxic person I was still engaging in addictive behaviors with, I said goodbye to him. It’s then I made a decision to turn my ENTIRE will and my ENTIRE life to God. Since then, I haven’t engaged in any addictive behaviors, not even one.

Nowadays, I wake up every morning and make the decision to ask God to guide all of my thoughts, words, and actions. So far, it seems to be working because my life has been filled with far less drama and instability than ever before, which is why I’m so grateful I made those decisions, three to be exact. As they have guided and shaped my recovery and spiritual life to a place I never could have achieved solely on my own.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson