Month: September 2013

Watering Those Seeds For Daily Spiritual Maintenance

Every day most people run through some type of routine maintenance in their lives. From the time one awakes to the time one goes to bed, a person goes through a gambit of things that might include waking up and stretching, showering, shaving, having coffee, heading to work, covering their responsibilities once there, having something to eat during the work day, going home, relaxing, watching television, eating dinner, reading something on the Internet, brushing their teeth, reading a little bit in bed, and eventually going to sleep. Of course, all of that would vary from person to person, depending on the day of the week and various other factors, but more than not, once that routine is established, it’s rarely changed. Unfortunately, there is a part of that routine maintenance though that many people irregularly do or never do at all and that’s a daily spiritual maintenance.

First off, let me explain what I mean by a daily spiritual maintenance by telling you what mine is. In my case, there are seven activities that I do each and every day to keep a solid foundation for my spirituality. In the morning, I always begin with some type of prayer on my knees, or if my pain is high, sitting somewhere with my head bowed. Next I move onto doing some type of silent meditation for at least thirty minutes. After that, I have a twenty minute audio attunement from one of my spiritual teachers that I listen to and repeat aloud alongside her voice. During some part of my day, I’ll take at least thirty minutes to recite a list of 29 positive mantras I created and will say them twelve time each. At another point in my day, I will sit at this computer for at least an hour or two and write another one of my daily spiritual entries for this blog. As I prepare for bed in the evening, I’ll write in a journal at least nine things that I’m grateful to God for from that day. When my day officially comes to an end, the last thing I do before I fall asleep is to pray as I did in the morning. And day after day, week after week, month after month, and now for almost a year, I have been completing this daily spiritual maintenance regardless of how I feel.

I’m sure there are some people who are going to think that my daily spiritual maintenance is rather extreme. But for a guy like me who lived in so many addictions throughout my life, where each contained their own toxic activities that I never missed a beat on any given day, doing all of these spiritual activities has become crucial to continue growing closer to my Higher Power. I’m convinced that it’s much easier to do the other daily activities of life such as showering, eating, going to work, etc, because all of them are required on some level to function and many of them even have an immediate payoff from doing them. So when one takes a shower, one usually feels better afterwards. When one eats some food, one usually feels better afterwards then too. And when one works at a job, one also get a paycheck that makes them feel better as well. But in the case of a daily spiritual maintenance, none of those activities appear to be necessary to function day to day, and often there is no immediate payoff from doing any of them. So for most people, the only time those activities seem to become necessary is when they hit a rough patch in life, and when the pain gets great enough. That’s when a daily spiritual maintenance is usually created and followed every day. That is until those rough patches begin to smooth out and the pain starts disappearing. And sadly, that’s when some of those daily spiritual activities begin to be skipped here and there until eventually, they are skipped altogether with excuses that there’s not enough time in the day to do them. I am telling you this because that is what I did for most of my life with any type of daily spiritual maintenance I tried to create. But thankfully, that’s not the case for me anymore.

Today, I do all of my daily spiritual activities regardless of how I feel on any given day. So whether I feel terrible or great, I consistently follow the same spiritual routine, even on those days, when my brain tries to tell me it’s ok to skip some of them. And what I have noticed from doing all of this every day now for almost 12 months is that even though I don’t normally get any immediate payoff from doing it, I have grown immensely on a spiritual level and am starting to see the long term benefits. A strong metaphor to something this compares to in life is when one plants a seed in a garden and then waters it every day. For awhile, they may wonder if anything is going to happen, but then one day, a little sprout pops out of the ground. If they stops watering that seed, there’s a good chance it will whither away and die. But if they continue to water, it sprouts a little more each day, until that moment comes when a beautiful blossom springs forth. I believe I am that seed and am watching myself grow now as I water myself every single day with my daily spiritual maintenance. And the best part about this is that I’m not sure if I’ve even blossomed yet.

So if you want to see your own life grow spiritually, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and ask yourself if you’ve been watering yourself every single day with any type of daily spiritual maintenance. If you haven’t, that might explain a lot of the unhappiness you’ll experience with life by not doing so. But if you have, know that all your watering is not in vain, as you too will soon begin to sprout into a beautiful blossom…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Who (Or What) Have You Made Your Higher Power…?

Ok, I’ll admit it, I know I have spoken a lot about my Higher Power, or God, if you will, through much of my writing in this blog. I’m sad to say that because of that, some people have come in here and read a few entries only to be turned off by its reoccurring theme. Others have even said I sound too religious. What’s funny is that I am so far from being that type of person, but more importantly, because of their comments, I realized I haven’t taken the time yet to write about why I have that reoccurring theme in the first place. The answer is quite simple actually. And it comes down to asking yourself two questions. Who, or what, have you made your higher power, and how happy has your life become as a result of that decision?

I think the words “Higher Power”, warrant a vert brief explanation at this point. In all 12 Step Recovery Programs, they have been used since the original founders of Alcoholics Anonymous first established them. It was those founders who discovered the only recovery from a life of addiction was to turn over one’s entire life to a power greater than themselves that was unconditionally loving and caring. They also knew that if they had used the word “God” instead, it would have brought up many negative connotations like it did for those people who thought my blog sounded too religious. I applaud those founders for that decision because there was a time that I too, had negative feelings when I heard the word “God.” Unfortunately for me though, that was also the time where the focus of my desire was on many different things, where each became my higher power and none were able to give me any real unconditional love or care.

You can make anything be the focus of your desire. And if that focus of your desire consumes most of your life, then it has become your higher power. The first thing that became my higher power in life was alcohol. Then it was drugs. Then it was cigarettes. Then it was sex and love. Then it was caffeine. Then it was money. And then it ended with it being certain people who I was codependent or obsessed with. Each of those things garnered at their specific points in my life, all of my focus and attention.  I dedicated my entire life to each of them to the extent where my world revolved around them. And I loved each of them dearly, more than anything else, when they were a part of my life.The sad thing is that none of them were ever able to care for me back in the same way, nor were they ever able to love me unconditionally.This is the precise reason why all of those things will do nothing more than drive us into a life of misery and unhappiness. And that’s exactly what it did for me for over two decades of my life.

Alcohol and drugs, sex and love, a new relationship, coming into a bunch of money, the latest gadgets and gizmos, cars and houses, cigarettes, caffeine, or any person one chases after, all will fail in the long run in the pursuit of eternal happiness. The truth is that they may work for a time as each did for me, but there also comes the time when they won’t. I spent years and years finding myself in the depths of despair because I placed many different powers that weren’t greater than myself as my higher power. But thankfully, two years ago, I finally woke up and realized my life was going nowhere. It was then that I found my Higher Power, which today I’m ok to say that it’s God. And to me God is everything now that is unconditionally loving and caring. None of those things that I chose as my higher power prior to this were able to do that. Not a single one. This God of my understanding, or my Higher Power as my recovery led me to find, does have those qualities, and loves me for me. While there has been constant challenges with my health conditions during these past two years, each has far surpassed any of my former attempts at finding long lasting happiness from within. While my world was a constant roller coaster of ups and downs, highs and lows, and anxieties and depressions before, now it’s become a lot smoother of sailing then I’ve ever been able to experience. And that alone makes following my Higher Power incredibly worth it.

Look, you can spend the rest of your life making anything on this earth your higher power. But when you find yourself living a life that often feels like a roller coaster, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and ask yourself two questions. Who, or what, have you made your higher power, and how happy has your life become as a result of that decision???

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Sign From God Or A Coincidence?

I am tending to believe lately that most people in this world have asked God at some point or another to give them a sign that everything is going to be ok when they’ve been going through an extremely difficult time in life. I also think that’s even true for people who declare themselves as atheist or agnostic when the pain becomes great enough in their lives. Just over a year ago, I watched my own roommate, who doesn’t believe in souls, heaven, or anything greater than himself, call upon God for a sign that he was going to get better when he was enduring severe mental and emotional upheavals. And ironically, shortly thereafter that request, he got the help he needed and those upheavals subsided. But like many people probably do, he labeled it not as a sign of God, but as a coincidence, and instead gave the credit to the doctors he saw and the medications he took.

A few months ago, I wrote about this very topic, but I felt it might be worth revisiting given something that happened in my life a few days ago, that I’ll be sharing with you in a moment. In that previous entry, I spoke of the biggest thing many people in this world often think of when it comes to a sign from God, and that’s the burning bush experience that Moses had thousands of years ago. But what if the signs from God these days are much more subtle than that? And because they are so subtle, what if it’s just our brains playing tricks on us by telling us that they aren’t signs at all and instead are just coincidences?

This is something as of late that I have been pondering a lot actually. To be perfectly honest with those who are reading this, I still cry out to God at least once or twice a week for a sign that my physical pain levels are going to reduce, and that everything is going to be much healthier for me again one day. Enduring high levels of physical pain for three years now that doctors, medical tests, and medications were unable to provide me any relief from, has taken its toll on me. There are days when I really just want to give up, but it’s on those days that I have ended up pleading with God instead to show me some sort of sign that I’m going to be ok.

In almost every case when I’ve asked for that sign from God, something positive has happened for me that my brain always tries to tell me, it was just a coincidence and wasn’t exactly what I was asking for. I have often wondered if this is the precise reason why God stopped providing those huge burning bush experiences a long time ago? Maybe God got really tired of demonstrating those signs because time and time again we just labeled them as a coincidences and wanted something bigger to essentially prove God’s presence during those difficult times? The only thing that I can say is true, is that I believe God still does provide signs when we ask for them, but they come more as gentle nudges rather than huge knock downs.

Case in point, as I mentioned earlier, I had one of these experiences a few days ago on a particularly rough morning. On that day, my first thoughts were of seriously questioning my sanity with my pain levels and how much longer I could continue to endure them like this. I thought about God and prayed for some type of sign to help me get through the day. Shortly thereafter, I looked at my e-mail and saw I had received communication from a friend who too has been struggling in life, but for other reasons. When I opened his e-mail, I expected to read about some of the struggles he has been facing in life, which I have been praying lately for him. Instead, I saw a very brief gratitude based letter that simply stated he was having a moment of serenity in his life and felt called to share with me a few words he heard from a speaker at a meeting recently. They were that “God didn’t bring me this far to let me fall…”

For someone like my roommate, who considers himself an atheist, I’m sure he would have labeled that e-mail as just a coincidence. But for someone like me, who has desperately been trying to grow closer to my Higher Power, I took it as an example of one of those subtle signs from God. And I believe that it was God’s way of telling me to hang in there for just a little while longer.

So whether you have a faith in something greater than yourself or not, if you should ever find yourself calling out to a Higher Power for a sign when you’re going through a rough patch in your life, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and remember my brief story I just shared with you. Signs from God can be so much more subtle than what our brains tend to want. But if you can accept that, then I can assure you that your Higher Power will give you that sign you’re asking for, it just may look a whole lot different than what your brain was hoping for…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson