One of my personal goals is to write an article in this blog each and every day. When I began doing this about nine months ago, it was due to a homework assignment that was given to me by both a therapist and a spiritual teacher to journal my daily life experiences. I was less than thrilled with the idea because I’ve never been the kind of guy who enjoys doing the “Dear Diary” type of thing. But one of them suggested I try blogging online instead and I agreed to try that. What I didn’t and couldn’t know was how God was going to use my writings as a vessel to help others.
Every day when I log in here to do my writing, there is a counter that tells me how many people checked out my blog during the previous 24 hours. At first, I found this to be a serious distraction because the number in that counter was often in the single digits prompting my ego to tell me that no one would ever read my blog. But my spiritual teacher kept reminding me that I wasn’t doing this for everyone else, I was doing it to heal myself. You see, I gave up on writing several years ago when I became too active in addictive behaviors which caused my inner light to grow quite dark. Prior to that, I had been a monthly columnist for a local paper in Virginia, had experienced success in being published in a few others magazines and newspapers, and even written the first book in a series planned for kids to young adults. So as I began to write in here, it really was about healing myself. And somewhere along the line, that started happening.
I can’t honestly say how all of this has worked. But the fact is, it has. With me just sitting here at my computer every single day and writing something about my life in a positive way, it has led me to healing so much of myself. And just when I start to think I’m running out of things to say, another idea comes to me. I give all that credit to God because it wasn’t too long ago, that I thought I had nothing left to offer this world, where God found another way to use me.
Many people often give up when they feel their they have nothing left to offer this world and that their life has become purposeless. Some will fall into addictions because of this and others will even end up taking their own lives. I was one of those people who came very close to ending my own life when I thought my existence had become pointless. I don’t think I can say that anymore. More and more people seem to be finding my blog every day and some are even sharing now how much my words are helping them. I’ve always believed that I came into this life to help uplift and inspire others but somewhere along the lines I got lost and off track from doing that. For years and years, I chased after the quick highs I could get in life through people, places, and things and instead, I went in the exact opposite direction of the one I believe I was meant to go in. Thankfully, I don’t feel that way anymore and somehow, my writing has been a big contributing factor to that.
It’s become a way of life for me now to spend time each day writing and I will admit it’s frustrating at times. The reason why journalling and writing in general can be beneficial for a person is that it forces them to see their life in front of them. Often, we as human beings will go on doing things day after day and become oblivious to the fact we’re even doing them. By writing down those day to day things, it forces our brains to see exactly how we’re living our lives. With my blog, I am taking all my day to day experiences, including my pains, irritations, and things that overwhelm me, and find the words to express about them. Once I find those words, I start writing them down in here and turn them around by looking at where I have either grown in life or could still grow. And through all of it, God has been leading more and more people to find and read my blog. In fact, it was just a few days ago where I noticed that 24 hour blog traffic counter was in the 800’s.
All of this goes to show that none of us ever know how God is going to use us. I don’t believe that anyone is this world has a purposeless life, and if any of you are feeling that way, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and take a deeper look at how your living your life. It was my own chasing after worldly things that led me to feeling this way but when I finally let all of them go and asked God for help, I was led to doing something that gave me a purpose. You have a purpose, trust me, you really do. Don’t give up, don’t despair, and know you’ll find it, as all it may take is some online journalling.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson