I truly believe it’s important to love everyone equally, including those we may not even like. Unfortunately, the ego often doesn’t let this happen as it has the tendency to convince us with any number of reasons why we should withhold it. Sadly I experienced this first hand a few nights ago when I was on the receiving end of it from one of the members of my partner’s brother’s family.
My partner has a rather large extended family that includes several aunts and uncles, a brother, a sister and a bunch of nieces and nephews. This is quite the contrast to my remaining family that consists of only my sister, her husband, and her children. For two years now, I have done my best to try to expand my family beyond blood relations to that of my partner’s extended family who live in his surrounding area. While I have been treating all of them with as much love and light I can muster, I haven’t been feeling the same in return from any of them. This became very apparent at his brother’s house the other night during a game night that had been organized. At one point, his brother’s wife commented on how nice the ring was that I was wearing and wondered where I got it. When I responded it was from my partner and that it had been his father’s ring, I was shocked at her response. She was rather upset that I was given this gift and said that a piece of jewelry like that should be sacred and reserved for their family. When I responded that I thought I was actually part of their family because of my relationship with my partner, I was very quickly told how I wasn’t. And for the next hour, I was judged by them on various aspects of who I was, how I was living, how weak my relationship appeared to them, how becoming a member of their family takes a long time and how I still wouldn’t be considered family even if my partner and I were married any time soon.
All of this saddened me greatly when I left their home at the end of that evening because it made me realize just how much the presence of love and light had been lacking. What frustrated me the most though was knowing that they are all very devout church going Christians trying to follow in Christ’s footsteps. And one of the greatest things I know that’s true about Christ is that He loved and treated everyone equally and like family. When I had asked them about this principle, I received their response that none of us can ever be like Christ and offer that much love. What they don’t understand though is that we all can be just as loving and embracing as Christ was. It’s only our our egos that tell us we can’t through any number of internal fears or resentments.
While I know I can’t make anyone like or love me, nor can I make any of my partner’s family treat me as part of their own, I can still do my part to live like Christ once did here on Earth. What that means for me is that I will continue to love all of Chris’s extended family members even knowing how they feel about me. While I don’t claim myself to be a Christian because I try to be all-encompassing of every walk of faith, I do cherish the principles that Christ taught and try my best to follow in His footsteps. Christ truly loved everyone, including those that hated him and he worked hard to move beyond his human ego to achieve that. I’m sure that He struggled at times internally with the people that didn’t like him, but his connection to God helped him to overcome that. Christ isn’t the only one that has been able to do this as there are many examples of people in this world who have walked a similar path. Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Theresa are just some of the names that come to mind when I think of what Christ’s love once looked like.
The point I’m trying to make in all of this is that every person in this world has the same capacity to love and treat each and every person equally, no matter what, just like Christ once did. My partner’s brother’s family and all his other extended family members as well have that same potential. The only thing blocking them from achieving that is their ego which holds them in places of judging others and loving only certain people considered to be a part of their family. For Christ, and the many others who have lived their lives embracing as much love and light as they could offer, everyone was considered a part of their family worthy and deserving of their love. Hopefully one day, all of my partner’s extended family members will realize this, but until them, I will do as Christ once did, and love them with all my heart, mind, and soul.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson