Now that Black Friday has come and gone for 2013, the holiday shopping season has officially begun. Many will spend much of the time between now and Christmas Day looking for those perfect gifts for their family members and loved ones to open in surprise and delight. Unfortunately, there are those who won’t be and instead will struggle with depression and being alone for most of the time, if not all of it. When Christmas Day arrives for them, the likelihood of them receiving a gift or being with anyone is slim to none. But sadly, this has the tendency to go unnoticed by those out there looking for those perfect gifts who aren’t so unfortunate in their lives.
For most of my life, I was one of those ignorant ones who didn’t realize how much of an abundance I really had. This was especially true during the Christmas season. While I had somewhat of a dysfunctional family because of their alcoholism, the holiday timeframe always seemed to be the one time of the year where we functioned so much healthier. We had traditions of decorating the family tree and house, we played a lot of games, we sang carols at our piano, and we spent a lot of time having fun shopping together as a family. But what I never thought about during any of that time was all those children (and adults) out there who would never have anything even remotely close to this.
So when Christmas Day arrived where it took my family over an hour to open up all the presents because there were so many, I wasn’t thinking about any of the homeless people, the people with no families, or those in shelters. When we stuffed our faces with the big turkey dinner my mother cooked with all its trimmings, I didn’t spend even a single second thinking about those who were starving out there and probably going the evening with nothing to eat. And I definitely didn’t put any thought to those who were in hospitals suffering from illnesses and diseases, or those who were trying to drown out their holiday sorrows through alcohol or drug addictions. In other words, I lived in a very safe bubble oblivious to just how good I had it compared to most. That ignorance carried forward into my adulthood until just a few years ago when I started really allowing my eyes to open up and embrace the pain that many will go through during the Christmas season. One of those things that has changed for me now because of this is being willing to donate things to those less fortunate.
If you have made any purchases so far during this holiday season, then I’m sure you’ve seen how retailers are asking if you would like to donate a book, some money, a toy, or a little food to those in need before your final total is rung up. Sometimes all that’s being asked is just a dollar or two in contribution, but so many say no thank you even when they have the ability to offer it. A few weeks ago I watched a woman in Barnes and Noble be asked if she would like to donate a children’s book for a kid in need this holiday season. Her response was that she had her hands full with her own child and donated enough of her money to them. Honestly, I can’t judge this woman because I was that woman for most of my life. For all the years I was sitting on a plentiful abundance of money, I made excuses to all those retailers who asked me if I wanted to donate something for those less fortunate. The excuse I had inside boiled down to one thing, selfishness. I was so completely selfish with my money and would spend it sometimes upwards of several thousand dollars during the holiday season with not a single penny of it going to a donation. Now, even with most of that money gone, I still donate from what is left of it each time I’m asked because I think about how I might be feeling in the shoes of those less fortunate going through the holiday season. There’s another side of donations as well that I’m open to now and it’s a little more personal than just adding some money to a total purchase at a retail store.
Something that my recovery world from addictions has taught me is that I can also donate my time. Throughout the holiday season, I always try to take some of my free time and go to shelters, detox centers, halfway houses, prisons, and hospitals to speak about my experience, strength, and hope to those still suffering from their addictions. Many of them will spend their entire holiday season in those places feeling despair and loneliness and the least I could do is try to show them my love. I also make sure to invite people out for social get togethers who I know are alone and don’t have any family or loved ones to spend their holiday season with. It’s not fun sitting in front of a television set throughout the entire holiday season and then spend Christmas day having Chinese food alone.
I know how simple it is to get caught up in the hustle and bustle during the Christmas holiday season. That’s what makes it so easy to forget about all those out there who will be spending it alone, or sick, or homeless, or starving, or in shelters. So I encourage all of you this year to spend it trying to reflect a little more on those less fortunate by offering either some of your money or time to those in need. And know in doing so that you’ll be helping to make this holiday season a whole lot brighter for those who might normally be spending it depressed or alone.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
