It’s New Year’s Eve, and tomorrow is a day that often holds a lot of significance for people. For some, it will mark the end of the shopping madness that began around Thanksgiving. For others, it will simply be the last day before the holiday season is considered officially over for one more year. But then there are all those out there who are going to begin some annual pledge to themselves by creating a New Year’s resolution.
“I’m going to quit smoking starting on New Year’s Day.”
“I’m going to quit drinking starting New Year’s Day.”
“I’m going to start eating less desserts beginning New Year’s Day.”
“I’m going on a diet to start losing all this weight starting New Year’s Day.”
“I’m going to start saving more money beginning New Year’s Day.”
“I’m going to start watching less TV beginning New Year’s Day.”
New Year’s Day holds such a significance to these people who create resolutions like this for themselves. Weeks, sometimes even months are spent prior to New Year’s Day delving into what they might give up or start doing on that seemingly magical first day of the new calendar year. The ironic thing about doing this is the amount of energy these same people will spend prior to that date doing that thing as much as possible.
Let’s take the desire to quit smoking as an example. Back when I was still regularly smoking cigarettes, I found my health rapidly deteriorating the more I did it. Even though I continued to state again and again that I needed to quit, I didn’t. But New Year’s Day would loom around the corner each year with my renewed vow that I would quit smoking beginning on January 1st. As that day got closer and closer, I’d go from smoking a few cigarettes a day to almost a pack a day. My ego always convinced me that if I smoked more that it would cause me to be sick of it by New Year’s Day. It made me believe that in doing so, I’d have a greater desire to quit them. But I never did. On one particular New Year’s Day, my father even threw in several thousands dollars as a bonus if I would quit the habit for at least six months. I guess he was hoping I would quit smoking permanently if I went 180 days consecutively without a cigarette. Guess how long it took me that year to pick the habit back up after my father’s six month contract passed? Less than 24 hours! And the longest I ever went without a cigarette for any other New Year’s resolution where I tried to quit it was only a few weeks.
The same thing held true for anything else I’ve ever tried to give up or start doing on New Year’s Day. On many January 1st’s, I would attempt to quit drinking. Or I would attempt to stop looking at porn. Or I would attempt to start eating healthier. Or I would attempt to work out a set number of days a week. Or I would attempt any number of other things. My intentions were always good but they never lasted. As soon as I made even a single slip with any of those resolutions, the new pledge to myself would quickly fall apart. Truthfully, it was never more than a short period of time after the first slip before I’d return to the exact same person I was before beginning the resolution.
So why didn’t these New Year’s resolutions stick for me?
And why is it that I’ve rarely heard of success stories from anyone else who made a New Year’s resolution for themselves?
The answer to those questions can be found in what I saw through all of the ones I attempted to set for myself each New Year’s Day. I never had any long term success with any of them, ever. I learned through their failures though, that I was always trying to change things in my life because of something outside of myself, such as a magical date. It wasn’t until the pain got great enough inside myself where I became willing to quit or start whatever I needed to, and they would consistently happen on dates I never planned for.
One of those happened for me on June 10th, 1995, when my life had deteriorated so greatly from the alcohol and drugs I was putting in it. The pain and anguish from them had become so great on that day that I became truly humble, probably for the first time in my life. It was then that I got on my knees and asked for God’s help. That day became the last one I’d ever put any alcohol, illegal drug, or cigarette in my system.
I’m very grateful for all the changes like these that have manifested in my life through the pain I’ve gone through. I’m also grateful that I’ve learned the real truth about making resolutions, especially New Year’s based ones. As you reflect on whether to still make one or not, I ask you to remember only this. The real changes in life are made when you are truly ready for them to manifest from within. And they often come when enough pain has built up in your life that you become willing to do just about anything. Please understand that relying upon some magical date to make changes is only going to set you up for failure, disappointment, and looking for another date down the road to try again.
So maybe the resolution you should be making this year is to not make one at all. Instead, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and then pray to your Higher Power for direction to begin the New Year. I can promise you in doing so, that it will bring about all the changes your heart and soul truly seek, and they’ll manifest when they are meant to and not because of some magical date.
Happy New Year’s Everyone!
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson