It is well known in most 12 Step recovery meetings that when a person finds recovery from their addiction, that they will then start to share their experience, strength and hope to those still suffering in order to help them. Yesterday, I spoke about the experience side of this so I thought it might be best today to write about the strength and hope parts as well.
Strength and hope are two words that describe why so many continue to find recovery from their addictions through 12 Step programs. I truly believe that this is what motivates all those who end up doing the 12 Step work and who come back week after week to recovery meetings.
When I began doing the 12 Step work and attending AA meetings regularly, I didn’t have much strength and I definitely had very little hope. My first sponsor on the other hand, had a tremendous amount of both qualities and she became a guiding light of them, for me to strive after.
The first thing I noticed about her strength was that she had learned how to remain free of many other addictions in addition to alcoholism. I knew I was cross-addicted and had fallen into other problems such as gambling and sex and love issues to name a few. That is why I initially didn’t believe that anything could keep me free of succumbing into at least one of the many addictions I had. I just couldn’t see early on how I could live a life free from all addictions because I was so used to living with at least one of them active at any given time. But it was this sponsor who showed me in her 25 years of continuous sobriety, that she found the strength through her recovery program to do just that.
The second thing I noticed about her strength was how she had been able to make it through every trial and tribulation in her life clean and sober from all her addictions. When my father took his life, I didn’t have much strength and gave into my addictions to cope with his death. When my mother fell down the stairs and broke her neck dying instantly, I didn’t have much strength then either and gave into my addictions once again to cope. The same held true when I lost a seven year relationship, when my business failed, and when just about every other tragedy took place in my life. But she showed me through her recovery program and the strength she had gotten from it that none of her tragedies in life ever drove her back into any addiction.
The third thing I noticed about her strength, and probably the most important one for me, is how she had an incredible connection to the God of her understanding and gained incredible strength from that connection every single day. I was the opposite of that when I first met her as I had been acting quite godless throughout my life. I also didn’t believe that God could forgive me for all the bad things that I had done in my addiction prone life nor could I understand how God could save me from the wreckage I had created. She shared with me how she felt similar when she first came to 12 Step recovery, but in time all that changed as her relationship to her Higher Power grew. Eventually she knew God forgave her of all the unspiritual things she had once done and God also helped her to completely clean up all her wreckage as well. Seeing all this is what started giving her incredible strength in recovery and maintaining that relationship to her Higher Power is what sustained it.
There were many other things I noticed as well about my sponsor’s strength in recovery the more I did my 12 Step work and attend those AA meetings regularly. But I also saw another quality in her that I wanted for myself and knew I had so little of, and that was hope. When I met her and began my recovery work, I was seriously broken, suicidal, and found it difficult to smile. She gave me hope every time she shared her joy in life and every time she smiled and laughed. Eventually, I started to meet others who shined just as brightly and they all shared one thing in common, they had hope.
I’ve been going to recovery meetings regularly now for over six years and I’m grateful to say that I have a lot more of my own strength and hope now. I thank my first sponsor in AA for being the one to initially guide me in this direction, especially because it led me to the growing relationship I have with my Higher Power. Through that connection, I have been able to remain clean and sober from all addictions even when life’s trials and tribulations try to break that. Now it’s my desire to offer this strength and hope to those still suffering, like I once was, hoping they too will one day find those very same qualities present within themselves.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
