Month: December 2013

It’s taken me a couple days to collect my thoughts and write about an incident that occurred back on Christmas Day. It’s something that in today’s digital age seems to becoming more and more common. And it deals with a downfall that comes from an invention we all refer to today as texting.

Originally known as the Short Messaging Service (SMS), texting has evolved greatly since its inception back on December 3^rd, 1992. It was on that day the first text was sent to a mobile phone and it contained only two words, “Merry Christmas”. And ironically, that’s exactly the two words that were missing from so many of my friends this year on Christmas Day, solely because I didn’t have SMS active on my mobile phone.

It’s been over two years now that I haven’t had the texting feature active on my cell phone. Initially I made the decision to remove it because I was using it to enhance my former addictive lifestyle. To put it bluntly, I was using it for what people refer to today as “sexting”, which was sending sex-based text messages out to others. It was rapidly becoming a growing problem for me so I removed the feature to prevent it from happening. Unfortunately, in doing so, it also cut me off from the expanding number of people who are choosing each year to use texting as their only mode of communication. And that became quite evident to me this year on Christmas Day when I didn’t even hear from one of my closest friends.

Unbeknownst to me, he made the decision this year to send out “personal” text messages to those he cared about sometime during Christmas Day. I placed the word “personal” in quotes simply because too many in this digital day and age feel that sending a text message is a personal thing. Twenty-one years ago, the personal thing to do on days such as Christmas Day was to pick up a phone and call those you loved and cared about to wish them a Merry Christmas. In fact, it really was the only way, other than receiving a holiday card in the mail, to do so. But with the invention of text messaging, every year the amount of people who are using the phone on the holidays is decreasing, as they become more in favor of sending a quick text message instead. This is precisely what my friend chose to do this year so that he could focus on spending time with his immediate family.

While I’m all in favor of doing actions such as that, his decision also saddened me because it was the first Christmas Day since I met him in 1997 that I didn’t hear from him. Some might say that it was my fault because I don’t have text messaging on my phone. But truthfully, receiving five or so words on a digital phone screen that wishes me a Merry Christmas doesn’t quite have that warm holiday cheer. I have always truly treasured those brief phone calls on Christmas Day from the ones I love. And isn’t that a lot more personal in nature than receiving a brief text message that says “Merry Christmas, have a great day!”?

People are saying too much these days that they’re too busy, especially on the holidays, to be bothered to make phone calls and have a few moments of conversation with anyone. Yet what people don’t see is the ever-increasing amount of people in this world who are feeling more and more alone inside. Depression continues to rise and the use of anti-depressants is also on the increase. Has anyone put thought to the idea that maybe this is partially due to how we’re communicating with each other these days? Maybe it’s because we are pulling away from the behaviors that once linked us all so closely together, such as picking up the phone and wishing someone a Merry Christmas instead of texting it?

I’m really undecided at the moment on what to do about this in my own life. Do I add texting back to my phone so that people like my closest friend could have reached out to me even on a minimal level on Christmas Day? Or do I remain old fashioned and at least do my part in calling all of those I love and wishing them a Merry Christmas, even if it always seems to be on their voice mails.

I don’t have that answer right now but I certainly pray that others might start realizing like I have, that there are some downsides to texting and the way we are communicating with each other these days. Until that happens, regardless of whether I’ll ever add texting back or not, I choose to continue making phone calls on special days like Christmas. As it’s in each of those calls that I can do my part in letting those I know and love, how I feel about them and how much I pray that God will bless their holiday.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Many religions believe there is a negative force that’s out there in our world. Some choose to call it Satan. Others choose to call it Lucifer. Me? I just choose to call it darkness. And the truth is, it really is all around us, always trying to attack us in a multitude of ways.

The most interesting think about the darkness that exists in our world is that it seems to leave us alone when we’re already out there creating darkness. But what I discovered in recent years is that it really doesn’t leave us alone during those times, it just keeps putting things in our path that leads us into even more darkness.

Here are a few random examples of what this may look like:

1. You’ve become an active gambler in your life. It’s beginning to consume you but you haven’t reached a stage of where it’s tearing your life apart yet. You find yourself in a casino and have spent all the cash you brought in except for your last $20. You decide to bet it all on something and suddenly you win $2000 which tempts you to gamble more.

2. You’re in a monogamous relationship that’s not going very well. You develop a friendship with someone you’re attracted to because of this. The other person finds you attractive as well and starts seeking you out for comfort which lures you towards cheating.

3. You’re regularly stealing from a job you’re working at. You do it just enough where it’s going unnoticed. But the door is somehow left open one day to a safe that you normally don’t have access to. In it is an abundance of cash which beckons you to steal it.

These are just a few of the infinite ways that darkness will continue to consume a person when they are already actively engaging in darkness related behaviors. But what happens to those people who finally choose to move away from those behaviors? Well that’s when the darkness really starts trying to attack you and this is something I have a lot of experience with.

Two years ago I chose to completely walk away from all the darkness related behaviors I was doing. To do this I had to cut the cords to every toxic person in my life that was leading me continuously back into those behaviors. I also had to delete every photo, phone number, and any other thing I had in my possession that occasionally lured me into doing those behaviors. Initially it was an easy thing to do because the pain had grown so great with me living in a tremendous amount of darkness regularly. I was willing to do just about anything to get rid of the pain. But as I began to feel better from separating myself from all those things, that’s when darkness really started attacking me.

Here are a few examples of what I mean by that:

1. Phone calls and e-mails would come in from people that I once had great sexual flings with but had lost contact with long ago.

2. Incredible pain would surface in my body at those precise moments where an option arose to drink alcohol or take drugs to deal with it.

3. In doing normal internet research, pornographic pop-ups would suddenly surface even when my research was nowhere in the realm that material like that should surface.

Of course, these too are only just a few of the infinite ways that darkness attempts to come at you once you’re trying to move away from it completely. Unfortunately, there’s another angle as well that darkness tries to lure you back in with. It seems to happen most when you aren’t giving in to any of these direct personal attacks. And that’s when it chooses to attack the things closest to you that aren’t in your ability to control.

Here are a few examples of how this has happened in my life:

1. Discovering my partner committed an act of indiscretion.

2. Hearing my partner’s family members openly express their disapproval of me.

3. Watching friends and family members judge me harshly.

It truly is challenging trying to deal with all of the attacks that darkness keeps trying to send my way. Just when I think I’m starting to get stronger and resist each of its distinct ways it finds to come at me, another one is slung my way. Sometimes it’s crazy health issues that arise, one after another, that overwhelm me completely and make me want to give up in any number of dark ways. Other times, it’s something even as crazy as looking out a window in my home and seeing a neighbor in the middle of a sexual act that tempts me to become a regular voyeur.

Regardless of when and how darkness ever chooses to attack me, the worst is when it comes one after another in a short period of time. I’ve learned the only solution for times like this, or any time for that matter, is to pray.

There’s not a day that goes by anymore where I’m not praying diligently to the God of my understanding to help me resist all of the sneaky ways that darkness tries to beckon me back within its grips. The truth is that I don’t ever want to go back to living in it ever again and I know the more I feel this way, the more it will try to find unique ways to draw me back into it. But I believe that will never happen as long as I keep praying for the strength to resist it.

When and how darkness chooses to attack a person is different for everyone. But the way to resist it is the same in each case. So if you are someone who is struggling with this, then I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and start praying to the God of your understanding for help. I can promise you in doing so that you will soon find the ability to start resisting any darkness that may try to attack you. And know the more you are able to do this, the more light you will have to shine it away, not just in your life, but in many others too.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

The day after Christmas has long been known as Boxing Day in many other countries other than the United States. It’s a holiday that’s celebrated in various places such as the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia to name just a few. Other countries celebrate this day as well, but under other names such as St. Stephens Day, the Day of Goodwill, or the Second Christmas Day. Regardless of the name this day has been given in each of the places that celebrate it as a holiday, there is one thing they all have in common. It’s a day that’s about giving gifts and presents to the needy.

The reason why it was originally named Boxing Day was that the servants of the wealthy were allowed the day after Christmas to visit their families. On that day, their employers would give each servant a box to take home that contained gifts and bonuses, and sometimes even food. Unfortunately, much of this tradition has disappeared over the years and the day has become more of a shopping day like Black Friday for both those countries that once celebrated it and those like the United States, which never have.

Some say that the day after Christmas is the second busiest shopping day of the year next to Black Friday. That’s because for many on this day, it’s where unwanted Christmas gifts are returned to the store to get cash or something else more desired.

I remember this pattern very well. It was quite common for me over many Christmas holidays to be in a retail store on the day after Christmas returning clothes that didn’t fit or that I didn’t like. Or maybe I was taking some other type of gift back that I wanted to get a better model of or when I just wanted the cash for it to get something better. What I never realized was how selfish and self-centered I was in doing those actions. While it says one thing to return something that doesn’t fit, the message that’s portrayed is completely different when a Christmas gift is returned solely for the purpose of getting something else entirely.

Over the years, I began to realize that people took quality time to think about the Christmas gifts I might like to receive. I started to see these people had placed a lot of their hearts into looking for the things that they’d end up wrapping so beautifully in anticipation of me opening them on Christmas Day. Then I saw the sadness in their eyes when I’d open those gifts and not be very excited about them. I’d also feel their disappointment when I took those hard sought items back to the store to return it for something I thought would be much better for me. And to imagine all those needy and less fortunate people out there on Boxing Day both in the present time and also way back when, who would have each desired any of my gift returns in an instant.

While I don’t do the major gift exchange with my partner or family these days during the holidays, there still is an occasional gift or two that’s shared between each of us. Today, I treasure those gifts when I receive them, regardless of whatever they are, because in each of them is a piece of love from the person’s heart and soul who gave it to me.

It really is sad that the day after Christmas has becomes such a commercialized day where people frequently do like I once did, by taking heart-felt gifts and returning them for what they think they need, want, or desire. It’s also too bad that the day isn’t a lot more about treasuring what each of us received and doing things like what Boxing Day once represented, by giving back to those in need. Hopefully people may start doing things like this more again.

My point here in all of this is that the day after Christmas doesn’t have to be another trip to the shopping mall or any retail store for that matter. Of course people will have those gift cards they want to use on this day, but it’s the action of taking things back that could receive a lot more scrutiny. This day could be a lot more about truly cherishing those gifts instead and thinking about the love that was put into purchasing them. And it can also be a day where our focus is on trying to give back to those more in need who may never be as fortunate as we are.

Hasn’t God blessed each of us with enough this Christmas that maybe we should take a moment, breathe, and truly embrace what we’ve been given instead of returning any of it or thinking there’s something more we need to get for ourselves? And maybe each of us can also take something of our own and give it away this year to someone who might really be in need…

Happy Boxing Day everyone!

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson