I spent this past Sunday evening listening to Sarah McLachlan in concert at an amphitheater in Toledo, OH. While I really didn’t know any of her songs but one, I found myself having admiration of her career that has spanned several decades so far. But what I admired most about her while she performed was how happy she seemed to be up on stage. I believe the only reason for that is how spiritually fulfilling it is for her and truthfully, that’s something I’m still searching for.
The sad reality is I’ve never been spiritually fulfilled in any of my former careers. Several decades ago, my first professional one began with me as a computer consultant and I would spend the next ten years doing it. I also spent those ten years being quite miserable because I never felt uplifted doing any of it. When I left that rat race, I spent the next seven years owning and managing a bed and breakfast that ended up making me feel even more miserable than my computer career, and rarely did I ever feel uplifted there either. Since I parted ways from the B&B, I’ve really only been working on one thing and that’s to discover anything in life that bring me spiritual fulfillment.
The fact is my work life has spanned close to several decades just like Sarah’s has, except none of my jobs, even in my teenage years, ever brought me any spiritual fulfillment. What I mean by this “spiritual fulfillment” is hard to describe in words. I think it’s much easier described in watching someone like Sarah sing with all her passion, and to watch her genuinely smile the entire time. Throughout my entire work life up to the point I parted ways with that bed and breakfast, I can honestly say I was never able to do that.
The first time I ever felt like I had any type of spiritual fulfillment in what I was doing was when I began teaching others how to meditate. Seeing others have very moving spiritual experiences during my meditations have always moved my heart greatly. When I began to speak about my experience, strength, and hope in recovery from my former addiction based life, I found the same thing happening. Eventually I was led to writing about these things and the rest of my life experiences as well, and there too I’ve found myself having spiritually fulfillment when doing it. But here’s my quandary, I’m not exactly sure how to take these things and make them into a paying career.
My spiritual teacher continues to tell me that my only concern at the present time should be to continue doing these spiritually fulfilling things, even though I’m not getting paid for them. So far, she hasn’t led me astray so I’m choosing to trust in what she’s saying. It’s still hard though because I truly hope to one day have a career where I can be paid for doing something that’s spiritually fulfilling like I know Sarah McLachlan is in her singing career.
The bottom line though is that I don’t ever want to end up in a job again where I dread every moment I’m doing it. There are too many people in this world who already do that and I was once one of them. So I pray to God hoping that I’m on the right path now to finding spiritual fulfillment in my next career. Thank you Sarah McLachlan for showing me that it’s definitely possible…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson