Bill Wilson once stated in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) that “we are people who normally would not mix.” But the fact is we usually end up doing just that because of one common thread…all of us have suffered from the hands of addiction. Unfortunately, there are still times though that people seem to forget this. In doing so, they often end up alienating others who could be a wonderful part of their spiritual journey to recovery.
The first time I experienced this was at a former home group in Massachusetts. My original sponsor once told me how important it was to greet not only my fellow home group members, but also especially the newcomers. She told me that greeting each other is what helps us to see that we’re all in this together. She also told me how important it was to take part in the fellowship before and after the meetings, as it too would help us to feel that same way. Sadly, that wasn’t the case in that group. I watched time and time again as other members came in and greeted and socialized with only their friends, while everyone else was completely ignored. During one of the group’s business meetings, I raised this issue as a concern and all it received was a considerable amount of backlash. What I was told was how unreasonable it was to try to greet everyone and that they didn’t have to fellowship with those they didn’t like. I honestly wished Bill Wilson had been present that night, as I don’t think he would have agreed with them.
One of the main points he established in AA that has now spread to all the other 12 Step recovery programs is to create a welcoming atmosphere for everyone, no matter what their background is. Today that includes one’s race, gender, religion, disability, and sexual orientation to name just a few, except there are still those who forget this. What’s even worse is when people’s prejudices of these various backgrounds are brought into the rooms of recovery.
The first home group I became a part of in Toledo where I live now was an example of where this happened. One day we were all reading one of the stories in the back of the Big Book titled Tightrope. It deals with a person who struggled with not only their alcoholism, but also their sexuality. In the end they found recovery and accepted that they were gay. I raised my hand that day and told the group how much I identified with the story as I broke down in tears. It was a triumphant moment in my recovery because I walked through some fears to share about my sexuality so openly. After that meeting, I began to feel as if I had the Black Plague in that group. Many of those group members who I was a friend with prior to that share started keeping their distance from me, and it was later I discovered that was due to their Christian beliefs about homosexuality.
Neither of these situations is how I practice my own spiritual program of recovery today, nor is it what I believe Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith once envisioned for it either. Thankfully my Higher Power has shown me a better way. Although “we are people who normally would not mix”, I see how important it is to always greet and accept each and every individual unconditionally, no matter what their background ever is. We all can truly be an invaluable asset to each other and in doing so, will remain forever united on the road to recovery.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson