I think the Universe is trying to show me lately that I still have greater levels of acceptance to learn in life. I’ve had a few issues going on over the past few days that it’s quite apparent I haven’t been accepting them very well. How do I know that? It’s because I’ve been impatient, irritable, and acting a little more on self-will than God’s will.
A few nights ago around midnight is when I began having this revelation. Normally, I log on to my blog site around that time every evening to ensure my new article is posted successfully for the next day. That includes verifying the quick links that are added on Facebook, Twitter, and GooglePlus, as well as making sure the e-mail containing an excerpt of the article goes out to all subscribers. Usually that takes only a few seconds of time because the process is completely automated. But that night it didn’t. While my article did get posted on time, the quick links weren’t added nor did the email go out.
I spent over an hour trying to figure it out on my own. When that didn’t happen, I called GoDaddy (who hosts my blog’s domain) technical support hoping they could help me. After an hour talking with them, the only thing I really learned was that they were aware of the issue and were working on it. I didn’t accept that response very well and actually went into a long discourse that started with me saying I was paying for a service that should be working. While I didn’t raise my voice or express anger, I know I came across like I was lecturing the support person.
By the time I went to bed, my site still wasn’t working fully. As my head hit the pillow I was far from feeling serene or relaxed on any level and didn’t sleep well because of it. When I awoke six hours later, I felt the exact same way as I did the prior evening, which was impatient and irritable. Then I allowed my morning meditation to be consumed with constant thoughts of whether my blog would work that day or not. When I finally got back to testing it later that morning, it thankfully did. But ironically, I still felt unsettled and continued to not practice acceptance because I picked up the phone and called GoDaddy again.
After another hour and a half on the phone with them trying to understand why my site was partially down the previous night, I honestly learned absolutely nothing other than I was still impatient, irritable, and not practicing acceptance. And guess what? When all was said and done after that phone call, I called my spiritual teacher and sponsor and was told the very same thing, that I really needed to just accept it was working and move on.
So I’ve been trying to practice more acceptance since then, not just on that issue but a few others as well. And the only way I’ve ever known how to do that is to just keep saying the following prayer that Bill Wilson once wrote so eloquently in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (p. 417 4th Edition). Thank you Bill for these wise words as they definitely continue to remind me every time I say them that acceptance is still the answer…and always will be.
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson