How often have you unconditionally helped at least three people throughout the course of any given day? This is a question I was asked recently, which led me to begin reflecting at the end of each night on whether I have or haven’t. I’m grateful to say that at least for today I have and even then some.
It began early this morning by having a somewhat lengthy phone conversation with someone in my recovery circles. There had been a few difficulties the previous night between the two of us that had temporarily strained our connection. In all likelihood, my former ego-based, self-centered persona would not have cared much about their feelings nor would I have owned any part in what actually caused the tension. Instead, I practiced the 10th step during that phone call by owning my side of the street, as well as learning from them how I could improve my communication skills in the future. I also actively listened to their current fears and struggles in life to demonstrate I was there more for them than for myself.
Not too long after that conversation I attended an AA meeting and participated in the topic for the day, which was all about handling one’s sex conduct in recovery. Most people normally shy away from sharing about topics such as this, like I used to. But nowadays I don’t. Given the lengthy addiction history and recovery I have these days with my sex conduct, I took the opportunity to share some of my own experience, strength, and hope with it hoping only to help those who might be still having difficulties in this part of their recovery.
Later that afternoon I met with one of my sponsees where I enjoyed spending about an hour going over their step work. That’s a far cry from how selfish I was back in the day when I rarely looked forward to meeting with any sponsee unless I was attracted to them. Now, I don’t sponsor people I have any sexual allure towards to and with those I do end up sponsoring, it’s solely for my desire to see each of them get well and nothing else.
As the evening set in, I attended a men’s group where I not only chaired the meeting for the entire night, I also helped to facilitate another man’s work on himself in an area he was truly struggling with. In many of these types of past men’s groups I was part of, I usually spent more time focusing on doing my own work than helping with someone else’s.
On my way home from that meeting I continued to help other unconditionally when I received a phone call from a new friend of mine who needed some help with their own sex and love addiction issues. I spent a good half hour doing my best to once again pass on my own experience, strength, and hope in that part of my recovery. And my desire to help others for today didn’t end there either.
Because last but not least, I’m taking my final waking moments of the day to write this entry while it’s fresh in my mind, with the only hope that it too might help another.
So while I definitely surpassed the goal of helping at least three people today unconditionally, tomorrow is brand new opportunity to do it again. I think I’m going to keep practicing this exercise because in the long run, I believe it’s only going to help me become even more selfless and spiritual in life.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson