Having too much free time on one’s hands can often prove to be very challenging to anyone, especially if they’re a recovering alcoholic/addict. Personally, with me not currently working due to my ongoing health issues, I’ve found my amount of free time to always be in great abundance. Many of those I’ve known in recovery have frequently asked how having so much of that never gets to me. The truth is, I try to keep myself pretty busy so that I rarely allow any of that “stinking thinking” to take over.
For those who don’t know what “stinking thinking” is, it’s a term that’s regularly used in the 12 Step programs for when a person is having a surge of negative thoughts about themselves, their recovery, and life in general.
Having not worked for quite awhile now, there have been plenty of times where I’ve allowed that “stinking thinking” to surface. But most often, that’s happened when I haven’t been keeping myself busy with my 12th step work, connecting with God, and engaging in the variety of things I do in my personal life to remain creative.
This is specifically why I’m presently taking four different people through the entire 12 Step process. It’s why I’m consistently attending at least five 12 Step meetings every week. It’s why I’m volunteering for the local AA hospital committee on a weekly basis, putting on meetings at various places where people are trying to find their own sobriety. It’s why I’m maintaining this blog and placing something on it every single day for others to see. It’s why I’m spending several hours each morning in my own spiritual routines that include prayer, meditation, affirmations, and audio attunements. And it’s why I’m commonly spending time reading spiritual books, doing complex puzzles, and even drawing in an adult coloring book.
Of course there are plenty of other ways I keep myself busy on a healthy level as well. Case in point last weekend I had my entire Saturday free from morning to night. That’s why I decided to head to the theater and see two separate films back to back. When they were done, I checked the local listing of AA meetings and found one was a mere four miles away and starting in just a short bit. By the time that meeting ended my evening was almost over. I finished it with some 12 Step phone calls, some work on my blog, some coloring, and writing in my gratitude journal. And thankfully when my head finally hit the pillow, I realized I hadn’t had hardly any of that “stinking thinking” throughout my day.
The fact is, anytime that “stinking thinking” has ever arisen, it’s never been pleasant. Usually it tries to tell me how much my life sucks, how things are never going to get any better, and how I should just give up, relapse, or end life permanently. This is why I continue to keep myself as busy as I do, because I know it really helps to keep that “stinking thinking” at bay and instead, makes me feel a lot more postiive about my life.
So while I don’t know why it’s so easy for a recovering alcoholic/addict to go to “stinking thinking”, I do know what I must continue to do to prevent it from surfacing with any type of regularity. Keeping myself occupied in my 12 Step work, seeking God and finding ways to be creative are just some of them. I’m sure there are many more ways as well, but at least I’ve found a few of my own that have truly helped…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
I see steps and service forming a corral that keeps my mind from wandering too far. Left to its own, my mind goes places that it shouldn’t go.