With all the turmoil I’ve been going through in recent times with trying to figure out exactly what defines a friendship for me, my sponsor gave me a pretty simple homework assignment to do. Write a bulleted list of qualities I envision in a friend and don’t classify them under any friend delimiter such as “best”, “close”, “true”, “good”, or “casual”. So here goes:
- Someone who enjoys talking over the phone
- Someone who is compassionate
- Someone who makes an effort to make plans
- Someone who is willing to try new places, such as a restaurant
- Someone who will go out of their way to see how I’m doing when they haven’t heard from or seen me in awhile
- Someone who will return a phone call with a phone call and not via text message or not at all
- Someone who will tell me when they are upset with me and are also willing to work through it
- Someone who is spiritual and enjoys discussing spiritual topics
- Someone who isn’t dependent on alcohol or drugs
- Someone who believes in some sort of a Higher Power
- Someone who is fully honest
- Someone who tries to be supportive and uplifting
- Someone who doesn’t have to “squeeze me in” to spend time with them
- Someone who doesn’t try to make me be more like them
- Someone who doesn’t overly criticize or judge
- Someone who tries to be more positive than negative
- Someone who is ok to show their emotions, including crying
- Someone who is a good listener
- Someone who is ok to show friendly affection such as a hug
- Someone who doesn’t gossip
I’m sure this seems like a tall order for any person to ever qualify under as my friend, but I must say there actually are a few people already in my life that do fit this list. In fact, it is they who I envisioned as I wrote it out. So it’s my hope and prayer that in writing down each of these qualities I seek in a friend, that somehow it will help channel more of them to enter my life. And like so much of what I’m facing throughout my life as of late, I know that will happen in God’s timing and not my own…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
Definitly a tall order! Nothing that cannot be achieved in a person but some things take time to happen and don’t forget you should be able to do these things as well. Remember the 11th Step prayer , basically saying to receive I must give. 🙂
I agree Carl. It is a tall order, but I felt that if I didn’t put it down on paper than I would never vocalize what I am looking for in a friend and I might always be stuck in my head with judgments around it rather than having concrete data on what I am looking for. 🙂