Month: July 2016

An Interesting Question From My Therapist

My therapist posed a very interesting question to me in a recent visit. She said “If you had to make a choice between experiencing God’s true joy and peace for the rest of your life but always have serious health issues OR have perfect health for the rest of your life but never know God’s true joy and peace, which would you choose.”

Her question reminded me of a board game I have titled “Would You Rather…” that I really love playing because it asks plenty of questions that make you think just like this. In the case of this question though, I actually didn’t have to think about it at all before I answered her. Instead, I immediately said I’d rather experience God’s true joy and peace, which is rather ironic on some level given how long I’ve gone through pain and suffering with my health.

Most who know me might assume that having perfect health would be a far better choice, but honestly it’s not. I’ve been in great health before in my life and been as far away from God as I could be and it wasn’t pleasant. I had very little joy and peace, if any at all during much of those moments. And any joy and peace I did feel was usually only felt after engaging in some sort of an addiction and thus was illusionary.

Interestingly enough though, I’ve also experienced brief moments in this life where I did feel what I perceive to be God’s true joy and peace. They came during 1999, 2003, and 2005, each lasting any where’s from a month to several months. And it was amazing. No matter what I was going through during any of those times, whether I had health issues that arose, or financial issues, or relationship issues, or any other issue, it just didn’t matter. During those brief periods, I truly felt something so wonderful, I didn’t worry about anything happening to me one bit. Instead, I simply accepted everything was as it was supposed to be.

So while I’ve been striving for better health for some time now and am still waiting for that to materialize, my focus these days is to continue doing what I can in every moment to be in alignment with God’s will. Because then and only then do I believe I will ever experience what’s far more important to me and that’s to experience God’s true joy and peace again.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

If The World Was Ending In Six Months, Would You Keep Your Sobriety?

Today’s entry is really a hypothetical thing to ponder for all those recovering from some sort of an addiction. My question is this…If a meteor or some other phenomena was definitely going to destroy the earth in the next six months, would you maintain your sobriety from whatever your former addiction was?

I know this might seem like a strange question, but it’s one I’ve posed in multiple ways over the years and the answers I’ve gotten have varied. Some have said they wouldn’t, saying they’d probably go out in a haze instead, while others have said they’d absolutely maintain their sobriety till the bitter end.

In my case, I’d like to believe I’d hold onto the sobriety I have from all my former addictions till my last waking breath. It really is my hope and desire to live out the rest of my life clean and sober from all the things that used to be so poisonous to my existence.

I mean what’s the point of relapsing if some tragic thing is coming. I’ve stayed numb for far too long in my life and binging on things like alcohol, sex, drugs, cigarettes, or anything else would only impair me from experiencing whatever peace and joy I can experience for my last remaining breaths on this planet.

So whether the world was ending, or even if I was diagnosed with something that was going to end my life in the near future, wouldn’t make a difference to my determination these days to stay sober. Sobriety and recovery from an addiction-laden life is that important to me now because if I didn’t have it, I’d probably have very little going well for me in my life. Why? Because every addiction I ever succumbed to always took from me everything that brought me peace and joy.

I believe there is a key to all this, as to why I am so determined to remain clean and sober even if I knew the world was going to end. That key is the fact I have am seeking something greater than myself to guide me these days. I couldn’t say that five or so years ago, as back then and most of the years prior, I was the one attempting to control most of my life.

Thus I guess you could say my answer to this question, during all those years when I wasn’t looking for God to guide my life on a daily basis, would be very different. As without God I had no hope whatsoever and with no hope whatsoever, hearing the world was going to end would only have made me even more hopeless. And in a hopeless state, the only thing I ever wanted to do was engage in an addiction to numb myself.

Thank God I’m not living in that hopeless existence anymore. And thank God I can answer this hypothetical question now with more of a surety that I would do everything I could to maintain my sobriety, even if I learned the world was going to end in six months. Because at least then in my last dying breaths, I’d know I was still serving the God of my understanding with all my heart, mind, and soul, instead of only serving myself…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson