Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

– Hello! Gordon’s pizza?
– No sir it’s Google’s pizza.

– So it’s a wrong number? Sorry
– No sir, Google bought it.

– OK. Take my order please
– Well sir, you want the usual?

– The usual? You know me?
– According to our caller ID data sheet, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust.

– OK! This is it …
– May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato.?

– What? I hate vegetables.
– Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

– How do you know?
– We crossed the number of your fixed line with your name, through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

– Okay, but I do not want this pizza!,I already take medicine …
-Excuse me, but you have not taken the medicine regularly, from our commercial database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at Drugsale Network.

– I bought more from another drugstore.
– It’s not showing on your credit card statement

– I paid in cash
– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement

– I have have other source of cash
– This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you bought them from undeclared income source.

– I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

– Enough! I’m so sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone line and no one to watch me or spy on me
– I understand sir but you need to renew your passport first as it has expired 5 weeks ago…

Silly Joke #2

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?”

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.

“Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked.

The kid replied, “No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson