Grateful Heart Monday

Every now and then I come across a story that reminds me that God really is there watching over us and today I’d like to share one with all of you for a very special Grateful Heart Monday entry, a day where I begin each week writing about a single piece of gratitude I have from my life.

This story begins with a guy I helped a few years ago in the 12 Steps of recovery for an addiction that was extremely hard for him to shake. But before you read any further, I just want to clarify that I did receive permission from him to share this with all of you.

Nevertheless, it took me about a year and a half to walk this gentleman fully through the steps and I saw much progress within him by the end of it. Unfortunately, the addiction he had been fighting still had a slight foothold within him that took any icy grip back onto him towards the end of the summer during the same year we had finished doing our recovery work together.

After a few days of relapse, he returned to recovery and doubled his efforts to remain sober and would go on to remain that way for another year. But sadly, at just about the time he was going to pick up his one-year medallion for a second time, his addiction took over again, this time for almost a week.

At this point, I wondered if he was going to be one of those people who spend their lives in a vicious cycle going around and around with periods of recovery and periods of relapse. When I asked him if he wanted to truly remain sober, I wasn’t convinced with his answer and so the only thing I could do was pray and turn it over to God. And believe me I prayed, a lot actually, for God to help this man find true recovery from his addiction that would last.

When another year rolled by and brought him into the present summer, I began seeing the same restless, irritable, and discontent individual showing up again. I was seeing that same someone who appeared to be itching for a relapse. When I asked him what it was going to take to end this insanity, he said he honestly didn’t know.

Of course, I told him about the “Yet’s” that tend to occur after repeated relapses, “Yet’s” such as losing one’s health, relationship, job, money, or even children and other loved ones. I reminded him that God had been good to him, giving him a beautiful wife, children, and even the dream job he always wanted and how none of these things had happened…yet. Of course, he responded with what most people say to this every time I bring it up, that being the “I know, I know…”  So, once again, I had to turn it over and leave it up to God with my prayers.

People say that God doesn’t answer prayers quite a bit these days and sometimes I find myself even saying that, especially when my pain levels are ridiculously high. But, what happened next with this man is precisely why I’m starting this week of with gratitude, all because of an experience he had with God.

I only found out about it because he called me up one day in a state of shock. In all truthfulness, when I heard his quivering voice on the other end of the phone, I assumed he had relapsed again. As I prepared myself to offer my best unconditional love and guidance like I had the two previous years, he shared with me something I didn’t expect.

He told me that late one night the other day, he was sitting in his house, while everyone else was asleep, when his 4-year-old daughter suddenly emerged in the room where he was sitting. It was apparent she was sleep walking, except she appeared to be fully awake. When she approached her Dad, she said nothing but four words, “Daddy, I’m more important!” She repeated this statement three times and said nothing more than that, and then returned to her bed, promptly falling right back asleep.

When my friend told me this, I had no doubt whatsoever that this was a message coming from Source. You see, my friend is one of the most skeptical people when it comes to God, but when his 4-year-old daughter said those four words, everything changed for him.

Somewhere deep within him, he knew she was talking about his addiction and reminding him how it’s not as important as her. And given she has no idea that he’s in recovery for an addiction and also has no understanding of what an addiction is either, is exactly why he was able to finally believe God was real and attempting to communicate with him. For once, my friend was able to overcome his skepticism and ever since, he’s felt no desire to relapse and been far more concerned about the potential of losing his daughter than anything.

As for me, in the end, I believe his daughter’s message was both a blessing and a warning. A blessing to show my friend that God truly is watching over him and a warning that all the breaks he’s gotten over the years from his past relapses with never any real consequences, might not necessarily be there in the near future if he continues to choose self-will over God’s will.

Regardless, I’m sure everyone reading this could probably form a different opinion about this story that ranges from it’s all bullshit and means nothing, to it’s all real and was a burning bush of sorts. Personally, for a guy like me who longs to have an encounter with God again, I’m choosing to believe that God spoke through my friend’s daughter in a very loving way that only my friend could appreciate, understand, and accept the message. And because of this, I now have a tremendous amount of gratitude to start my week off with, seeing that God really does answer our prayers…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” (Nathaniel Branden)

Quote #2

“I surround people in unconditional acceptance and love to such a degree that everything that is unloving about them rises to the surface.” (Iyanla Vanzant)

Quote #3

“Once I start to get aligned with the God in me, something hit me hard: I learned that our worth, our validation, our purpose and our acceptance don’t stem from what we should do. They don’t stem from what we have. They don’t stem from what we’ve done or who we were. They stem simply from the fact that we are.” (Grace Gealey)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Day The State Of My Yard Woke Me Up To An Illusion Of Life…

There are a number of things going on in my life right now that have really gotten to me like the state of my health or my partner’s health or our vehicles or most recently, our yard and because of them, my mind keeps trying to convince me that if I could just get them all to where I think they need to be, that life would finally be grand. But, I’m pretty sure that’s all an illusion that is often far too easy to buy into.

You see, the reality I’ve found is that life is and has always been full of unsettling things for my mind and ego. And just when I clear one of those unsettling things off of my plate and feel in control of my life for a moment, another unsettling thing appears and becomes the source of my misery, immediately causing my life to feel out of control again.

It’s as if I’m on this endless quest to be free of all unsettling things and yet I continue to find that it’s an impossible feat to ever achieve and only attempting to still do so ends up driving myself totally insane.

Take our yard for example, I have spent countless hours and dollars doing my best over the past few years to make it green and lush and perfectly manicured, all with the idea that it could look pristine enough to appear on the cover of some home and garden magazine someday, or at least at the very minimum, be the one thing I could feel in control of given the number of things that seem out of my control lately. That all went out the window though when I came home from my vacation last Sunday night and saw that the disease and insect damage I had been constantly fighting with one chemical after another before I left, had fully taken over the majority of my yard leaving it with massive brown and bare spots everywhere.

At first, I was angry, then sad, and eventually just numb. Numb because I came to realize that no matter how much control I seem to exert on things like my yard, or my health, or my partner, or our vehicles, or anything really, that it only leads to more misery and very little peace of mind. And it’s then I began to wonder if maybe God was allowing all these things to happen to help me finally see and accept the real truth. Truth that the only way to achieve peace of mind and peace in general in life is to let go of every unsettling thing I think I need to control and simply accept them as being exactly the way they are supposed to be at this moment.

That means letting go of trying to rid my yard of all its problems and accepting its current disease and insect-riddled nature as being exactly the way it’s supposed to be at this moment.

It’s means letting go of trying to find a solution to removing all my health issues and accepting that every ailment I feel is exactly as it’s supposed to be at this moment.

It means letting go of trying to prevent our vehicles from breaking down any further and accepting that any repairs that arise are exactly what’s supposed to be at this moment.

And it means letting go of trying to control my partner’s weight and 12 Step recovery work and accepting the state of both is exactly as they’re supposed to be at this moment.

I must say that I have been relatively unsuccessful thus far in doing this, yet, for those rare moments where I have ever achieved that state of fully letting go and accepting something that has been totally unsettling in my life as exactly the way it’s supposed to be, I’ve become far more content and at peace, and also been able to witness how the problem simply seemed to resolve itself, all on its own.

While I know this process of letting go and accepting all those unsettling things seems relatively easy in concept, it actually is far harder in application and usually feels like it’s going against the grain of a human being’s inherent nature.

Maybe that’s why so many of us become so miserable in life, because we keep sticking to our inherent nature, rather than going against that grain to see where it may lead?

What would happen if we all let go of control and accepted all those unsettling things that enter our life as being exactly the way they were supposed to be at that moment?

I’m quite sure our fears would probably tell us the results would be far from good.

Yet, maybe, just maybe, the results of such a massive step into the unknown might lead to an everlasting peace and connection to Source, one that I know I for one want to achieve way before I ever take my last dying breath…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson