As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been born blind. His disciples asked him, “Teacher, whose sin caused him to be born blind? Was it his own or his parents’ sin?” Jesus answered, “His blindness has nothing to do with his sins or his parents’ sins. He is blind so that God’s power might be seen at work in him.” (John 9: 1-2)
For quite a long time now, I’ve been dealing with plenty of health issues and chronic pain where a number of religious folks have suggested over the years that maybe it’s all been due to me living in sin. In almost every case, the sin their referring to is that I’m gay and living with my same-sex partner. For the more tolerant and accepting religious folks though, there have suggestions that maybe that which I’m going through is due to some sinful thing that maybe my parents or those that came before them did. Every time either of these things get brought up as an answer to why my pain and suffering has gone on as long as it has, I’m brought back to this Biblical passage as a reminder of something that feels far more unconditional loving and caring.
First and foremost, I don’t believe being gay is a sin, as God doesn’t make mistakes and made me exactly as I am. And as I always mention, if I could choose my sexuality, it most certainly wouldn’t have been homosexuality in light of how terrible gay people still get treated these days. Second, being gay has actually on some level been a spiritual gift, because it’s helped me to experience life in a minority. Essentially, I understand so well now what it feels like to be persecuted on this planet, like plenty of other minorities have had to endure, and because of it, I’ve become a far more compassionate being to ALL walks of life. And lastly, I strongly believe that even though I’ve suffered in pain for as long as I have, that it’s being used for a far Greater purpose, one that still hasn’t fully come to fruition yet for God. What I do know is that it is through all this pain and suffering that I’ve been able to break free from a life of addiction and become a more selfless instead of selfish being as well.
Regardless, one day, I believe it will all become clear and you can be sure that like Job who suffered immensely, never because of his sin or anyone else’s for that matter, that God’s power will be seen through it all, where His unconditional love will be the thing that prevails.
Dear God, I may not fully understand why it is that I must suffer in such pain and anguish on so many days for as long as I have. Yet, somehow, I just know that all this blindness has been so that Your power might be seen at work through me, and for that I’m externally grateful to have been chosen for such a spiritual calling.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
