Month: March 2020

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

What is one thing you did for a good while in life that really helped you, that you drifted away from after getting some sort of benefit from it, only to realize how important it was after you weren’t doing it anymore?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step

Recovery Fatigue

Recovery fatigue is a real thing that can happen in sobriety and just recently, a sponsee of mine began to face it. What is it? Quite simply, it’s when a person gets tired of doing their recovery work week in and week out.

Recovery fatigue is most definitely something I faced once before. I say once because the actions I took from it eventually almost led to a relapse and convinced me I need to do my recovery work for the rest of my life. It’s probably best I explain now how I learned this invaluable lesson.

Back in 2009, I had two years under my belt of recovery work. I had finally saw the promises of a recovery-based life coming true. My life truly was coming back together after 12 years of being a dry drunk before ultimately realizing I needed to do the step work, which I began in the fall of 2007. There was such a dramatic difference in my personality by the end of 2009. I was happier, laughed more, had increased confidence, and extremely energetic. I was also sponsoring five individuals through the steps, going on AA speaking commitments at least two to three times a week, and attending about four 12 Step meetings on top of that. One day in the midst of all that, I thought to myself,” Why do I need to keep doing all this recovery work?” I had learned the steps and was practicing them to the best of my ability, I wasn’t feeling tempted to engage in my old addictions, and felt very stable in my day-to-day moods. Recovery fatigue had set in and I bought into it.

First thing I did was to change sponsors to someone who didn’t have any recovery requirements for their sponsees. Then, I began attending less meetings. Sponsees started to drift away the more I drifted from the program. And somewhere along the way, I stopped doing most of those commitments as well. But, I still felt good in my own mind and hit a meeting here and there, telling myself it was enough. Oblivious to it all, new addictions began to take over my life. A year later, I almost relapsed with alcohol and drugs, attempted suicide, and was institutionalized for a number of days.

So, what happened?

They say that once you get a taste of true recovery from addiction and have worked a very healthy program, it’s hard to get away from it, because you’ll notice a big difference if you do. They also say that the recovery work for an addict is medicine that’s no different than the insulin a diabetic requires. Both are crucial for survival. Yet, my ego didn’t believe that. While I had heard all that so many times before I gave in to my recovery fatigue and was convinced none of it would happen to me, but it did and almost cost me my long-term sobriety and my life!

So, when a sponsee told me recently they were going to start attending less meetings for the very same reasons I once did back in 2009, I told them about recovery fatigue and what happened to me when I gave into it. But, even with that, they were still convinced it was ok for them to take somewhat of a break in their recovery work. In light of that, my final suggestion was to take a total break for a period of time, because they had been doing their recovery work with much reluctance for a good while and it was totally apparent.

While I don’t know how this individual’s story will turn out, I do know that Bill Wilson once said if someone wasn’t convinced of the recovery way of life, that they should go out and try some controlled drinking again. In the case of my sponsee who really doesn’t want to go back to their addiction, they are still doing somewhat of the same thing by attempting to control their sobriety on their own.

Trying to control my own sobriety without the support of recovery work left me defenseless and put me at great risk. It almost killed me. I’m not willing to face that again, which is why I’ll keep on doing my recovery work, God willing, to the day I die. Let’s just hope my sponsee will figure that out before they reach any where’s close to where my recovery fatigue took me…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

During a performance for the high school talent show at the local theater, a hole was cracked in the stage floor. Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until little Freddy, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee. He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in the back of the theater shouted: “Don’t worry, Freddy! It’s just a stage you’re going through!”

Silly Joke #2

Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question and if you get it right you don’t have to go to school on Monday. The first Friday the question was, “How many gallons of water is there in the whole world.” No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday. Next Friday, the question was, “How many grains of sand is there in the whole world.” No one knew so they had to go to school on Monday. By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn’t want to go to school on Monday. So he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the ping-pong balls up to her. She asked, “Alright, who’s the comedian with the black balls?” Johnny said, “Eddie Murphy, see you Tuesday!”

Silly Joke #3

An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.” She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced! Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “It’s all set. They’re coming for Passover and paying their own airfares!”

Bonus Silly Joke

A little boy comes down for breakfast and his mother asks if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” says the little boy. His mother tells him that until he completes them, he won’t be getting any breakfast. Well, he’s a little angry, so he goes to feed the chickens and kicks one. He goes to feed the cows, and kicks a cow as well. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks. “Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.” Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, “Are you going to tell him, or shall I?”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson