Month: July 2020

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to Grateful Heart Monday, a weekly series in my blog where gratitude is always shared about someone or something in my life I’m truly thankful for, which for today is for a recent hiking trip I took with my best friend Cedric to Hocking Hills State Park in Ohio.

For those who’ve never heard of Hocking Hills or never been there, it’s south of Columbus, by about an hour and a half or so driving time and, as defined by Wikipedia, is a deeply dissected area of the Allegheny Plateau that features cliffs, gorges, rock shelters, and waterfalls, all due to the Blackhand Sandstone in the area.

Ever since moving to Ohio back in 2014, I’ve been wanting to visit this part of the region, mostly because the pictures I always saw of it reminded me of a place (Mohawk Mountain) I used to hike quite frequently with my Dad in upstate New York near where I grew up, one that I was always extremely fond of visiting.

While initially Cedric and I had actually planned to spend a few days away at Cedar Point during his visit, after learning the amusement park wasn’t even scheduled to open until July 9th due to COVID-19, we decided to alter our plans and head to the Hocking Hills region instead, given how much we both love nature. We stayed in nearby Athens, Ohio, and on the morning of the 5th of July, we headed over to Hocking Hills State Park, arriving just past noon to the Visitor’s Center at Old Man’s Cave.

Once there, we assessed the status of all the major attractions and began to set a course of action. We agreed to start with the trail right there at Old Man’s Cave and then attempt to walk to Whispering Cave, seeing we couldn’t drive there with its parking lot currently closed. While my original desire was to simply drive to each attraction and do as little walking as possible given my ongoing issues with my physical health, I decided to pray and do as much as I could. After two hours and several miles of walking rough terrain, we had conquered all of what Old Man’s Cave had to offer and even visited Whispering Cave as well! One highlight to mention during this part of the day was this rickety bridge we had to cross to get to Whispering Cave. As I walked across it, Cedric wildly moved it, leaving me looking like a gumby flailing his arms wildly in the air. It was a rather funny spectacle to watch that’s for sure.

Nevertheless, riding the high from conquering that walk (and maybe also from the dark chocolate espresso beans I gave into after it!), we drove over to Cedar Falls and did the trail there next. We quickly moved on to Ash Cave next, walking the entire trail there as well, and then drove all the way up to Cantwell Cliffs after that, doing the same there. By that point, it had been several hours of walking up and down trails, over and through rocks, and in and out of formations. We were both totally spent but yet neither of us wanted to finish the day without completing the only other one we hadn’t been to, that being Rockhouse. So, we headed there on a mission, which interestingly enough, ended up being the highlight of our day. The formations there, chiefly the oddly-shaped cave you can actually walk through, were very stunning, especially when the sunlight shone through all the little gaps and holes.

After 6.2 miles walked, almost 19,000 steps taken, 82 floors climbed, several liters of water guzzled, and multiple snacks consumed, we had most assuredly had our fill of seeing the most incredible geological formations, forest flora, and natural waterfalls Hocking Hills State Park had to offer. But, what was most impressive about the day for me was the actual fact that I totally completed a hike I haven’t been able to do in years. And how did I do it? Well, I attribute that to God, because I know if I had left things up to my brain, I wouldn’t have made it past visiting Old Man’s Cave that day.

So, as a full day of hiking came to an end, I must say Hocking Hills is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited in my life and something that I know my inner child truly enjoyed. It really brought me back to a time in my life where I regularly explored the mountains in upstate New York as a kid, and the mountains of Virginia as a young adult. Hiking is something I absolutely love, which is why I’m so grateful I was able to see as much as I did in Hocking Hills State Park and why I’m dedicating today’s Grateful Heart Monday to the day I spent there with my best friend Cedric.

Peace, love, light, and, joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

What has desperation driven you to do in life that you probably wouldn’t have ever done without ever having that feeling?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step

Only Those Who Are Truly Desperate…

It is said that only those who are truly desperate will ever end up doing the entire 12 Step recovery process from beginning to end. Desperate for what you may ask? Desperate for a new way of life.

I asked my best friend a few weeks ago, how many sponsees of his have fully completed the entire 12 Step recovery process in his almost 28 years of sobriety. He guessed somewhere between 20 to 30, which is out of what I’d say is well over 500 people by now that he’s ever sponsored. Personally, I’ve sponsored well over 100 individuals now myself in the years I’ve been doing this 12 Step recovery process, and can count on two hands the number of people who’ve actually completed the work.

I provide these unsettling statistics because most really aren’t desperate enough to finish the 12 Step recovery process after a few months of sobriety and stability get under their belt. The sad reality is that most individuals when they first make their way into the rooms of recovery are only desperate until whatever drove them into the rooms gets resolved or calms down enough for them to start focusing their energy elsewhere.

Quite recently, I had to let a sponsee go for this reason. They started out in total desperation with a desire to do this 12 Step recovery process and for the first three to four months, they proved that week in and week. At some point though, their work, relationship, family, a new home, and more began to take higher precedence, all of which ironically were in dire jeopardy of being lost when they started out with me. But, once those things no longer seemed to be in serious jeopardy and once their life began to feel far more stable, I watched as they slowly pushed the step work aside more and more. After several months went by with no real progress being made on their step work and constant promises that they’ll eventually get it done, I realized I could no longer be held hostage when so many others were still out there desperate for a solution.

When I first came to 12 Step recovery, I was 100% desperate for a solution. When a woman saw that fire in my eyes, she took me under her wing and brought me through the 12 Step recovery process. And even when my life started to get calmer and more stable, I clearly remembered how desperate my life was before the work, so I stuck with it and that desperation is precisely what powered me through to the end of the work.

I’ve learned in all the years since, that being desperate truly is the key to doing the 12 Step recovery work and sticking with it till the end. That’s why I had to cut my sponsee loose because they no longer were desperate enough to be driven to do this work and instead, were making excuses to getting it done.

The fact is, it’s desperation that drives a person to do just about anything. But when life provides a person the things they desire, like a good job with good pay, a great partner, a wonderful family, a beautiful home, etc., there begins to not be the need for the 12 Step recovery process, because it’s then that feeling of desperation starts to go away. I know this oh so well because I spent the first twelve years of my sobriety having everything I wanted in life and thus never feeling desperate enough to do the 12 Step recovery process. It was only after I lost a seven-year relationship, a business, my mental and emotional health, and my home, that I became desperate enough for this work. And when life started to get better again for me, because it eventually did, I didn’t lose that feeling of desperation, because I forced myself to constantly remember all the pain I had gone through prior. For those who aren’t desperate enough to complete the 12 Step recovery process though, the tragic reality is that they tend to relapse. Why? Because they start believing their life is more important than their recovery, which is the very thing that leads them away from this work. But, my door always remains open for those who are desperate.

What does desperation look like? Well, sometimes, it looks like a person knocking on my front door at 11:30pm on a weeknight, where I welcome a person into my kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee and a shoulder to lean on while they cry. I only wish when that type of desperation comes, that I could bottle it up, so it could be returned when things get better for them, to help remind the person how bad it once was.

Nevertheless, the 12 Step recovery process is ultimately only for those who are totally desperate, desperate for a new way of life, and desperate enough to stick around, even when life begins to get better. Because it always does, and when it does, it’s those who hold onto that desperation that tend to make it through, and I thank God for each of them, for I wouldn’t be here doing what I do today, even right here in this blog, if it wasn’t for them…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson