Month: December 2020

“The Boys In The Band”, A Superbly Acted And Directed Film With Overly Upsetting LGBTQ Stereotypes

While my partner regularly enjoys watching LGBTQ-based movies on Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu, I’m not normally one to do so myself, mostly because of the stereotypical way they often end up depicting our culture. And what I mean by that, I’m referring mostly to the feminine depiction of gay men who are overly promiscuous-based, that regularly use alcohol and drugs, and tend to be vicious towards each other. Occasionally though, I still do watch one from time to time because of Oscar buzz surrounding it, which is the case with the recent release of “The Boys in the Band”.

Starring quite the cast of a number of well-known openly gay actors that include Jim Parsons (Michael), Zachary Quinto (Harold), Matt Bomer (Donald), Andrew Rannells (Larry), Charlie Carver (Cowboy), Robin de Jesus (Emory), Brian Hutchinson (Alan), Michael Benjamin Washington (Bernard), and Tuc Watkins (Hank), “The Boys in the Band” centers around a birthday party being held at Michael’s home for Harold in a 1968 New York City setting. There a surprise guest and a drunken party game leave each of the attendees dealing with unspoken feelings and buried truths.

For as much as I thought the acting and directing in this movie was superb, I really found much of the storyline overly upsetting due to the stereotypical depiction that continues to be made of the gay culture both on film and television. From the over the top flamboyancy of many of the party guests, to the cutthroat and ruthless comments they regularly made towards each other, to the drowning of their sorrows in booze and marijuana, to suggesting that most gay men don’t want to remain monogamous, I ended up cringing more than applauding the overall art direction of this film.

Please let me clarify though that there have been a number of LGBTQ-based movies that I have found spiritual connection with, that depict true love, devotion, kindness, and a desire for monogamy. Movies like “Brokeback Mountain”, “Love, Simon”, “Call Me By Your Name”, “Boys Don’t Cry”, and “Moonlight”. Why “The Boys in the Band” isn’t one I’d place with them is simply because it continues to portray that ongoing stereotypical belief that many religious folk continue to have of us who feel we can’t be monogamous, that all of us are feminine, that we all do alcohol and drugs and regularly promote the frequent use of them for our fun, and that we all are so self-loathing that all we do is put each other down in our day-to-day connections with each other.

I sometimes wonder if that’s why so many Christians interpret the Bible in the way they do towards us, saying same-sex relationships are sinful because of the way we depict them over and over and over again in films and television shows. I mean if we keep on showing the predominance of promiscuity, femininity, alcohol and drug use, and cutthroat cattiness towards each other in the majority of LGBTQ individuals in movies and television how can anyone ever know that there is a world of diversity out there in the same culture, where there does exist masculine men and feminine women having beautiful, healthy, caring, and monogamous relationships just like the one I’ve been having for many years now.

While of course there is indeed promiscuity, feminine men and masculine women, alcohol and drug use, and meanness in the LGBTQ culture, there too exists very much of the same in the heterosexual culture, but at least in that culture, there have been countless films to depict otherwise.

Maybe our culture wouldn’t have such a constant stereotypical depiction being made of it if we could start making more films and television shows that depict true unconditional love and devotion centered around both men and women who have higher principles in life and do their best to live in connection with a Higher Power guiding them.

Regardless, while “The Boys in the Band” blew me away with how well acted it was and how believable the characters actually felt, I was left in the end feeling quite saddened by the overly upsetting stereotypes that continue to be made of our culture. Hopefully one day this won’t be the case. Hopefully one day relationships just like the one I’m having with my partner Chris get depicted just as much in film and on television. Relationships where masculine men and feminine women are shown in same-sex relationships that are truly monogamous, where alcohol and drug addiction doesn’t guide them, and where unconditional love, acts of kindness, and a desire to serve God at their core exists. Maybe then, when more of those types of relationships are shown in LGBTQ-based film, people will finally stop placing those stereotypical and sin-shaming judgments upon us.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

 

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Volunteering can be an exciting, growing, enjoyable experience. It is truly gratifying to serve a cause, practice one’s ideals, work with people, solve problems, see benefits, and know one had a hand in them.” (Harriet Naylor)

Quote #2

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands – one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” (Audrey Hepburn)

Quote #3

“Volunteers do not necessarily have the time; they just have the heart.” (Elizabeth Andrew)

Bonus Quote

“Volunteering is at the very core of being a human. No one has made it through life without someone else’s help.” (Heather French Henry)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday entry full of gratitude for someone or something from my life that’s truly touched my heart and soul! For today, it’s for landing another volunteer opportunity in my 12 Step recovery and for the friend in my 12 Step circles who made that happen.

I’ve come to learn over the many years I’ve remained clean and sober from alcohol and drugs and a number of other addictions as well that all the craziness in the outer world around me and all the craziness I feel in my frequently squirrely brain can be easily tamed by helping another. My greatest joy in life today actually and quite possibly the only joy I truly feel I have in life right now is when I’m helping another, which seems to be primarily focused in my 12 Step recovery realms presently.

Since COVID hit, many of those opportunities were severely restricted or eliminated altogether for me, which left me feeling quite despondent and sometimes even purposeless. Beyond my weekly commitment I still have at Rescue Crisis, I had a bunch of other ones that had kept me going, including a weekly one at a local jail, a quarterly one at two Greek organizations at the University of Toledo (UT), and a bi-weekly one for multiple nursing classes also at UT. Unfortunately, COVID greatly affected them, leaving me with far less time engaging in the one thing that has blessed my life more than anything, helping another suffering soul, especially from addiction.

Enter in my friend Jeff A., someone I’ve come to know quite well in my recovery circles here in Toledo over the years and now consider one of my trusted friends. Recently, when he became employed at a placed named Midwest Detox Center, one of the newer locations here in Toledo for addiction help, he asked if I wanted to do a lead for one of his groups one day soon. Of course, knowing how much opportunities like this strongly motivate not only my own recovery, but also my life in general, I said absolutely. That opportunity came to fruition shortly after that, on the last Monday in November.

I spoke in front of approximately 58 clients and several counselors that day, which was very well received with plenty of applause by the end. A number of the clients came up to me afterwards and thanked me profusely for reinvigorating their desire for recovery. Each felt I had connected directly to their heart, which I was quite grateful to hear. But, my biggest piece of gratitude that day actually wasn’t from all those accolades I received, because frankly, I feel God is far worthier and deserving of those than I, since it was He who’s guided me through it all over the years. Rather, the biggest thing I was grateful for was when I was asked if I’d be open to doing a recovery lead on a repeating basis there. I, of course, agreed immediately and settled on monthly rotation, given the rotation of clients there was about the same amount of time.

So, beginning in December, on the last Monday of the month and subsequently on every month moving forward, I will now have a new 12 Step recovery commitment to look forward to doing for an entirely new batch of individuals who might be seeking experience, strength, and hope from another to motivate their own journey to sobriety and recovery. I’m more than grateful to do this and for any time I’m ever able to get recovery commitments like this. It’s something I really do look forward to doing in my life these days, as I clearly remember when I never helped anyone but myself, and suffered immensely because of it.

That’s why I’m incredibly thankful today and dedicating today’s Grateful Heart Monday entry to Jeff A. and the Midwest Detox Center for providing me a new 12 Step recovery commitment in my life that I’m sure will continue to provide me plenty of joy in doing and hopefully help many others in the process on their own journeys to healing from addiction.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson