Silly Joke #1
Patient: Doctor, I have a tendency to gain weight in certain places. What do you recommend?
Doctor: Well, I think you should stay out of those places!
Silly Joke #2
A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, honey, it’s because you’re blonde.”
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. “Mommy, Mommy,” She yelled, “we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, honey, it’s because you’re blonde.”
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!” And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
“Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?”
“No, honey, it’s because you’re 25.”
Silly Joke #3
Worried that they hadn’t heard anything for days from the widow in the apartment next door, the mother said to her son, “Tony, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Pierpoint is?” A few minutes later, Tony returned. “Well, is she all right?” asked the mother. “The good news is that she’s totally fine.” “What’s the bad news?” asked Tony’s mother. “Well, she’s rather annoyed with you,” remarked Tony. “At me?” the mother exclaimed. “Whatever for?” Tony replied, “She told me to tell you it’s none of your business how old she is!”
Bonus Silly Joke
The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, “What’s this?” “A horsy,” one child answers. “And this?” the teacher asks. “A piggy,” replies another youngster.” And now this one?” asks the teacher, holding up a picture of a male deer with a beautiful rack of antlers. There was no answer, only total silence. “Come now, children,” she coaxes, “I’ll give you a little hint”. What does your Mommy call your Daddy when he hugs and kisses her a lot? “I know! I know!!” says Little Johnny. “It’s a horny bastard!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
