Silly Joke #1
A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. “Okay Simpson,” says the investigator, “you were near the scene, what happened?” “Well, it’s like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up.” “He was smoking in the mixing room?” the investigator said in stunned horror, “How long has he been with the company?” “About 20 years, sir” “20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I’d have thought it would have been the last thing he’d have done.” “Sadly, it was, sir.”
Silly Joke #2
Patient 1: ‘Why did you run away from the operation table?’
Patient 2: ‘The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’, things like that.’
Patient 1: ‘So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?’
Patient 2: ‘Because she was talking to the surgeon!’
Silly Joke #3
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks, “What are you staring at dear?”
“A spider,” he replies.
“I don’t see anything,” she says.
“Well, it must have fallen on your head then,” he said calmly.
The wife jumps up screaming and frantically swishing her hands through her hair.
The man says, “Hey hon, while you’re up, can you get me another beer?”
Bonus Silly Joke (2 for good measure!)
A literature teacher is explaining the power of poems and stories. “Have you ever read something that made you cry?” She said to her students. One of her students suddenly blurted out, “Yeah, when I saw the grade you gave me on my last paper!!!”
One day, Mom was cleaning junior’s room, and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, ” Well what should we do about this?” Dad looked at her and said, “Well I don’t think you should spank him.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson