Silly Joke #1
A newly hired nurse listened while the doctor yelled out “Tetanus!” with his patient. Then later he yelled “Measles!” with another. Soon after it was “Mumps!” with another patient. When he yelled out “Shingles!” with the last patient of the day, she asked the nurse who had been there a long while, “Why does he keep going on like that with each patient who needs a vaccine? ”Oh, that? He just likes to call the shots around here…”
Silly Joke #2
Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?”“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.”“I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”“ Oh sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey.”
Silly Joke #3
A man named John is feeling unwell, so he goes to see the doctor about it. The doctor tells him, “Well, it must be your diet. What sort of greens do you eat?” John replies, “Well, I only eat peas. I hate all other green foods.” The doctor looks at him and says, “Well, there’s your problem. All those peas are clogging up your system. You’ll have to give them up.” John asks the doctor, “How long should I give them up for? I mean, I really like eating peas.” The doctor replies, shaking his head, “Well, forever I’m afraid. If you don’t, you’ll get sick again.” John is shocked by the doctor’s suggestion, but he decides to give it a go. Sure enough, he starts feeling loads better after a couple of weeks and realizes that he’ll never eat peas again. Anyway, one night, years later, he’s sitting in a bar having a conversation with friends. One of them says, “I’d love a cigarette, because I haven’t had a smoke in four years. My wife persuaded me to give them up.” Another guy says, “I haven’t played a game of golf in three years, because it cost me my first marriage. So I gave it up.” Then John says, “That’s nothing. I haven’t had a pea in six years!” When a pretty blonde sitting at the bar nearby overheard this, she jumped up and yelled , “Oh my, that sounds dangerous! Where are you storing all that urine anyway?”
Bonus Silly Joke
Little Johnny, always known for saying inappropriate things went out for a drive with his father one day. Upon returning home, Johnny’s mom asked, “What did you see, today honey?” Little Johnny replied, “3 idiots, 1 dumb fool, 4 morons, and 1 damn sexy fox that Daddy said I can never tell you about…”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
