Month: February 2014

It feels good to laugh doesn’t it? It’s been medically proven that laughter is a great tool that can be used for healing purposes. But there is definitely one use of it that can end up doing the exact opposite, and that’s when laughter is being used at someone else’s expense.

Have you ever been in a group of people where one of them is poking fun of you and making everyone else laugh hysterically at you? While it’s going on, do you silently squirm inside and just wish they would stop. And do you feel terrible or embarrassed inside when it’s finally over? If you could answer yes to all of these questions, then you probably can understand how this use of laughter is quite unspiritual.

People tell me all the time that I should develop a stronger backbone. In other words, what they mean is that I should be able to take the jokes being said about me much better. But what none of them ever understand is that in many cases like my own, it gets old. I grew up being constantly picked on, made fun of, and laughed at by so many groups of people. It was never fun and many of my younger school years were often miserable because of it. Thankfully, God helped me to forgive all those people and heal from that trauma, but it brings me right back to those days when it happens in the present.

I know that many of the times that people make fun of me today; it’s never to hurt me. I totally realize that. But I’ve learned that a main reason why we ever make fun of anyone else is because we’re insecure on some level inside ourselves. Making fun of someone else’s shortcomings essentially takes the focus off of our own. I’m not sure anyone really likes to have their shortcomings highlighted for a group of people to laugh at. And in some cases, it can really hurt a person, especially when they have had a life full of it. So ask yourself this question right now. Is it really being spiritual when you have everyone laughing at something you’re saying about someone else when it’s truly hurting that person on any level inside?

It’s one thing if you are alone with your partner or a best friend and you’re making fun of each other because that’s how your relationship is together. But it’s another thing altogether when you’re in a group of people doing it to that person or someone else. In those situations the variables change and it’s much harder to distinguish how the person is going to take things.

My general rule of thumb when I’m out and about in large groups of people is to never make fun of anyone else. The only exception is when I’m 100 percent sure it’s something the person is known to have a laugh about themselves. That rarely happens so I’ve learned how to make groups of people laugh by poking fun of the things about myself that I’m comfortable with. I also like to use silly faces, animated body gestures, and manipulation of my voice in weird ways to do the same. In both of those cases, my use of laughter is always spiritually healing and connecting, instead of potentially hurting or isolating someone in a negative way.

While I do believe that it’s important to laugh throughout life, it never should come at someone else’s expense in a group of people, especially where you’re not 100% sure how they’re going to receive it. So the next time you’re thinking about making fun of someone else in any group of people, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and think twice about doing it. Unless you truly know how the recipient will end up taking it, your attempt at poking fun may end up causing them more harm than good. Instead, try learning how to make others laugh by making fun of yourself; as maybe then the people might be laughing with you, and not at you…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

I love going to Starbucks, but not specifically for what you may be thinking. While I do enjoy having a decaf lattee there several times a week, it’s actually the warmth and friendliness I receive there that keeps me coming back. In today’s day and age, I’ve found that these two traits are truly what keep customers coming back to just about any type of paying establishment who practices them. Unfortunately, not all businesses do and it’s often a major source of why they eventually go under.

Just the other day I experienced this very thing when I decided to try something at a Gloria Jeans Coffee establishment. When I attempted to order one of their frozen chiller drinks, I discovered they were all caffeine based. Given that I don’t consume caffeine, I asked if I could have one of them made with decaf coffee instead of the base they normally use. At a Starbucks, this type of request is always met with a big smile and a nod of approval. Here, it was met with a tremendous amount of negativity and resistance to even doing it. In fact the two women who were taking my order said that what I was asking for probably wouldn’t taste very good. At that point I became tempted to leave, but given my increased patience level these days, I told them it would be fine. After some frowns and grumbles, my drink was begrudgingly made in the way I asked, and just as I thought it would, it tasted great.

When I owned a bed and breakfast for a bunch of years, I learned that accommodating patrons requests no different than my own, were critical to having them become repeat guests in the future. Sadly, what I experienced at that Gloria Jeans Coffee convinced me not to go back there again. At Starbucks, that never happens. I can order my Venti, Decaf, Soy, Double-Cup, 180 Degrees, No Foam, Whip On Top Latte and it’s never met with anything but a smile and sometimes even a friendly joke. In other coffee chains though, trying to order something like this often proves to be too much of a hassle to ever return there.

While I’ve never asked any Starbucks employee if its stressed during their training to always smile and be friendly to every customer, I find that each of them do. People get upset at how expensive they think this chain is and some have even given it the nickname of “Fivebucks”. I don’t share in their opinions because it’s one of the rare businesses these days that offer consistent hospitality. I’d really like to believe that my request at another Gloria Jeans Coffee might have been met with that. I’m not sure if I’ll ever find the answer to that out, but I definitely can see that great hospitality is critical for a business to survive these days.

Sometimes, when a person is having a bad day, or feels alone, or is depressed, being greeted with warmth and friendliness that comes with good hospitality can move the heart and soul. Those are two traits that I continuously try to work on with the God of my understanding as I believe that being nice and kind to everyone is important.

So whether a business trains an employee to demonstrate those traits or not, shouldn’t really matter. Instead, what should, is treating everyone with the same love and light that they would want returned to themselves. Starbucks is one of those places where I see this consistently happening, and maybe that’s why this company became so profitable?

Regardless, the real lesson here is this. If you are an employee of any consumer-based business, no matter what type it is, be sure to show as much hospitality as you can to each and every customer. In doing so, you’re not only going to be helping your business succeed, but you’ll also be adding a lot more love and light to both this planet and your own life.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson