Month: July 2014

Acceptance Is Still The Answer…

I think the Universe is trying to show me lately that I still have greater levels of acceptance to learn in life. I’ve had a few issues going on over the past few days that it’s quite apparent I haven’t been accepting them very well. How do I know that? It’s because I’ve been impatient, irritable, and acting a little more on self-will than God’s will.

A few nights ago around midnight is when I began having this revelation. Normally, I log on to my blog site around that time every evening to ensure my new article is posted successfully for the next day. That includes verifying the quick links that are added on Facebook, Twitter, and GooglePlus, as well as making sure the e-mail containing an excerpt of the article goes out to all subscribers. Usually that takes only a few seconds of time because the process is completely automated. But that night it didn’t. While my article did get posted on time, the quick links weren’t added nor did the email go out.

I spent over an hour trying to figure it out on my own. When that didn’t happen, I called GoDaddy (who hosts my blog’s domain) technical support hoping they could help me. After an hour talking with them, the only thing I really learned was that they were aware of the issue and were working on it. I didn’t accept that response very well and actually went into a long discourse that started with me saying I was paying for a service that should be working. While I didn’t raise my voice or express anger, I know I came across like I was lecturing the support person.

By the time I went to bed, my site still wasn’t working fully. As my head hit the pillow I was far from feeling serene or relaxed on any level and didn’t sleep well because of it. When I awoke six hours later, I felt the exact same way as I did the prior evening, which was impatient and irritable. Then I allowed my morning meditation to be consumed with constant thoughts of whether my blog would work that day or not. When I finally got back to testing it later that morning, it thankfully did. But ironically, I still felt unsettled and continued to not practice acceptance because I picked up the phone and called GoDaddy again.

After another hour and a half on the phone with them trying to understand why my site was partially down the previous night, I honestly learned absolutely nothing other than I was still impatient, irritable, and not practicing acceptance. And guess what? When all was said and done after that phone call, I called my spiritual teacher and sponsor and was told the very same thing, that I really needed to just accept it was working and move on.

So I’ve been trying to practice more acceptance since then, not just on that issue but a few others as well. And the only way I’ve ever known how to do that is to just keep saying the following prayer that Bill Wilson once wrote so eloquently in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (p. 417 4th Edition). Thank you Bill for these wise words as they definitely continue to remind me every time I say them that acceptance is still the answer…and always will be.

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Purge And Promoting Violence

I’m not a violent person, and never really have been. I guess you could say I’ve always been a pacifist by heart. Truth be told, if I had been alive back in the 1960’s, I probably would have been a peace activist. With that being said, there’s a movie sequel currently playing in theaters that both it and its original from last summer, have gotten to me on a spiritual level because each totally promotes violence.

The Purge is the movie series I’m referring to. It’s based upon a simple premise of a futuristic society where one day a year for 12 hours of time, everyone may tap into his or her violent side, commit any type of crime, and law will not oppose them. In other words things such as torture, rape and murder are completely acceptable and legal during that time.

While I may love the movies and have a fond admiration of creativity which directors and screenwriters often come up with, this isn’t one of them. It stands against everything I’m working towards spiritually on this planet. What concerns me the most about movies such as this are the people who attend them. It is said that people normally see the movies they are attracted to. So what does that say for the amount of people who made up the 64 million dollar gross of the original or the 28 million the current one has already made? Does that mean that deep down inside many of those who see movies like this have the desire to be violent?

When I first saw the preview of the original movie last year, I was truly horrified of the storyline. While I normally seem to go see just about anything at the theater, especially during the summer, this was one I didn’t. In fact, it made my stomach turn anytime I saw that trailer. A few months ago when the new one started playing for its sequel, the same thing happened and I found myself even loudly saying “BOOOOOOOO” after it finished. I’m sure everyone around me thought I was somewhat crazy, but ultimately, the premise of this movie series has gotten to me that much.

I don’t want to ever become or promote violence on any level. While I may have had some rare moments of that during my alcoholism and drug addiction days many decades ago, my spirituality has brought me to the opposite side of that spectrum today. I sincerely try to do my best and stay away from movies that do nothing but glorify violence these days. Of course there are some actions movies I still watch that have some of this, but in the end I attend them solely because of the good triumphing over evil. The Purge series isn’t about that as much as it’s about bringing out a dark side within us. The fact is I don’t want to have a dark side and if there is any of that still within me, the last thing I want to do is enhance it.

I’m sure Hollywood will continue to create sequels to this movie given its latest box office surge. But I’ll continue to stay away from them and any other film that promotes violence to this level. That’s only because I believe what I spend my time watching, I will become, and I’m 100% positive my Higher Power would never want a violent streak within me.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Showcase The Beauty, Not The Downfalls, Of Heavier People

I have always found beauty in heavier-set people, both male and female, dating as far back as I can remember. But I can honestly say I’ve never found beauty in the way television shows and movies frequently portray them, solely because it often increases the stereotypes and judgments made on those who struggle with obesity.

“Lazy”, “fat”, “stupid”, “slob”, “undisciplined”, and “slow” are just some of the negative stereotypes and judgments made on heavier-set people. While there are those in the world who may have gotten heavy due to deeper-seated mental and emotional issues, there are some like my partner who just come from DNA that’s predisposed to it. While I might be able to eat a whole gallon of ice cream and not gain a single pound, if he was do the same, he might gain five pounds. Thankfully, my partner does a great job of managing his food portions and since I’ve been with him, he’s slowly lost close to 60 pounds. Nonetheless, in doctor’s standards, he’s still considered obese.

I feel for him and all the previous people I’ve dated who are classified as this because I’ve seen first hand how too many often stare and make negative comments about their weight. I don’t usually go to any type of buffets with my current partner for this very reason, in addition to the fact that they also make us want to eat more than we need to. But what frustrates me beyond those day-to-day stereotypes and judgments made on heavier-set people is when I see plus-sized actors and actresses being placed in roles that only emphasis this even more.

Lately, I had to endure seeing a preview of the movie Tammy starring Melissa McCarthy countless times since I regularly watch quite a few movies and television programs. In it, she walks into a fast food joint to hold it up and while there attempts several times to jump over the front counter, but is unable to do so because of her weight. It’s meant to be a fun parody of the fact she’s too heavy, but what’s sad about it is this. Not only is McCarthy’s acting so much better than this, it sheds a negative light on people like her and my partner who may not be fit enough to do an athletic feat such as this.

The same type of thing happened in a previous movie McCarthy starred in as well titled Identity Thief. During one of its particular scenes, she attempts to run away from Jason Bateman on the side of a highway and the camera shows her slowly shuffling down the road. The director tries to show the ridiculousness of this by how easily Bateman catches up to her. Once again, it’s only meant to be a fun parody of how heavy she is, but it truly just adds to those negative stereotypes and judgments made on heavier-set people.

Throughout many of the other movies and television shows I’ve seen over time, there have been way too many great hefty actors and actresses doing things such as splitting their clothes, falling down, being picked on, belly’s popping out under the shirts, breaking furniture, and more all because of their weight. With such a rapidly growing obesity problem in the world on top of those negative stereotypes and judgments, I’m not finding these types of movies fun to watch anymore. Instead, I’m finding them sad and feel sorry for the many actors and actresses who are often pigeonholed into these types of roles because it’s all they’re given.

I’m very grateful though when I do see someone in the entertainment industry move away from these type of roles and go into ones that are able to truly demonstrate their acting talent. John Goodman and Queen Latifah are a few examples of some of those who have been able to do this. But there are many others who haven’t been given as much of a chance like Melissa McCarthy.

The fact of the matter is the world is already filled with enough negative stereotypes and judgments on heavier-set people that showcasing it negatively on the big and small screens is only making it worse. Hopefully all plus-sized actors and actresses will eventually stop taking on roles that only makes fun of their weight and instead do films that demonstrate their real acting talent. Until then, I choose to only watch the more uplifting fare that showcases the real beauty of heavier-set people like my partner.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson