There seems to be this ongoing debate in many of the 12 Step meeting rooms I’ve attended over the years and it comes down to one thing. Is one who’s found sobriety from their addiction “recovered” or always “recovering”?
The creator of the 12 Steps, Bill Wilson, often said that one was recovered from their addiction to alcohol when they were sober and no longer had a hopeless condition of mind and body. In fact, the word “recovered” appears in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) a total of 22 times, whereas the word “recovering” only appears once. But I don’t hold the Big Book of AA as the “word of God” on the topic of sobriety from addictions nor do I hold the Bible as the sole word of God either. To me, the Big Book and the Bible are merely guides to help me live my life more spiritually.
With that being said, in my vocabulary I hold the word “recovery” as synonymous with the word “spiritual”. Everything I’ve learned about recovery is spiritual to me and the 12 Steps have helped tremendously to guide me on a path of spirituality. Through various teachings, I’ve come to understand that my spirituality is always changing and growing. I feel the same applies to my recovery from addictions as well. Thus, saying I’m recovered doesn’t feel quite right because it places things in past tense, almost as if I’ve already arrived at some type of recovery enlightenment. But I know that’s not the case. I know my life of addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, and the like can all come back in the blink of an eye. The last thing I want to do is let my ego think I’ve reached some sort of recovery pinnacle because it’s in those moments that I’m most susceptible to a relapse.
The fact is I haven’t graduated from some type of a sobriety school nor have I completely cleared out of me every single defect of character that caused me to become a severe addict in the first place. While I may be sober and free of that hopeless state of mind and body, my disease is in remission. I believe I’ll be recovering for the rest of my life because I’m always learning something new when it comes to my sobriety.
So as you can see, I’m one of those who stand more on the “recovering” side of things with this ongoing debate and I’m ok with that. I’ve met plenty of others who follow exactly as Bill Wilson once said by introducing themselves as “recovered” and I’m ok with that too. I truly think the only thing that really matters is that I remain clean and sober and working on my recovery from addictions each and every day, for the rest of my life. In doing so, I know it will help me to remain open to whatever spiritual guidance my Higher Power ends up sending my way…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson