Month: November 2014

10 More Questions For You To Ponder

We all ponder various philosophical questions in some fashion or another on almost every single day of our lives. Back in July of this year, I decided to capitalize on this very thing by posing 10 questions of my own for each of you to think about. Because I was told on more than one occasion how they generated good spiritual conversations, I’ve decided to do this exercise again with 10 more. I hope all of you will take a little bit of time to reflect on each of them and may your spirituality be blessed in the process…

1.  You are in a group of people where one of them is making severely racist jokes or comments. What do you do?

2.  If you knew you only had one day left to live, how would you spend it?

3.  If you were suddenly given one million dollars tax free, what would you do with it?

4.  If you had the ability to change one aspect of the entire world all at once, what would it be?

5.  Where would you say the majority of your happiness is coming from these days?

6.  You’re having lunch with several people whom you love and cherish when they abruptly all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing that person  is your friend. What do you do?

7.  If you could effectively communicate one piece of advice to all newborn children in the world where it would change each of their lives forever, what would it be?

8.  If you had to be stranded on an island with one and only one person for the rest of your life, who would you want it to be?

9.  If you could instantly change one and only thing about yourself permanently, what would it be?

10.  If you could instantly change one and only one thing about your closest friend, spouse, or significant other permanently, what would it be?

And here’s one more for good measure:

11.  What three things are you the most grateful for at this very moment?

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Why Are People Sometimes So Cruel To Animals?

Why are people sometimes so cruel to animals? I ask this question rhetorically only for the reason that I found a male purebred boxer drinking from one of my garden ponds early one morning recently that not only appeared abused and starved, but come to find out, he had been poisoned as well.

I’ve always believed that cats and dogs were sent here to show us what unconditional love looks like, so the idea of ever hurting any one of them like this boxer seems unfathomable. But for some, cats and dogs and many other animals as well become nothing more than the recipient of various modes of abuse. Over the years, I myself came across several alcoholics and addicts who repeatedly kicked their dogs or tortured their cats just because they were restless, irritable, and discontent with something going on in their life. While I may seriously struggle at times in my own life with the hand I’ve been dealt, the last thing I want to do these days is take any of my frustration out on a defenseless animal. Sadly, I can’t say that was true back in the mid 2000’s when I owned a bed and breakfast.

During that period of my life, I was fully consumed with anger over quite a number of things, especially with the partner I had and that business itself. While carrying all that resentment, there were times I found duck nests in the courtyard gardens I maintained. I held a lot of shame for a while over the action I did each time I discovered one, as I would throw any eggs from the nest at the mother duck as she scurried away. Looking at how much fury and rage filled my every pore back then, I can see how a defenseless duck easily became my scapegoat for it. Thankfully, I’m on the opposite side of the spectrum today and try to preserve and protect all life as best as I can, even right on down to a little spider that makes its way into my home.

But getting back to that male boxer I found in my front yard that morning drinking so voraciously from one of my ponds, it was hard to imagine how much anger someone must have had to do what they did to this animal. His bones were loudly protruding through its emaciated body, it shivered anytime I got close to him as if I was going to strike out at him, and it was constantly throwing up everywhere again and again. The latter of which only occurred because someone in my neighborhood has been poisoning any loose dogs by feeding them antifreeze. What truly fills me with great sorrow over this was how obedient and friendly this dog was when I got over my own fear to approach him. He sat when asked to sit. He gave a paw when asked if he would shake. He even lay down next to me when asked as I waited for K-9 control to arrive.

I know some people frequently say that any individual who tragically abuses a loving animal such as this boxer should receive the same treatment back. Honestly, that isn’t the answer because violence will only breed more violence. But should there be stricter punishments if an animal abuser is discovered? Probably. Regardless, dogs, cats, or any other animal for that matter don’t deserve to be abused like this. I’m sure we could all agree that none of us deserve to be abused by anyone either, but unfortunately it still happens. Why it continues to happen to a human being or an animal like this boxer always seems to be traced back to someone’s untreated anger.

I decided to research this topic a little after pondering the events of that day and here are a few of the alarming statistics I discovered:

  • It is estimated that nearly 1 million animals a year are abused or killed in connection with domestic violence.
  • Up to 75 percent of domestic violence victims report that their partners also threatened or killed family pets
  • Close to 85 percent of battered women and children entering shelters discussed incidents of regular animal abuse and cruelty in their household
  • A large percentage of children who grow up watching an adult abuse a pet end up doing the same behavior later in life

Reading these statistics truly brought me great sadness, specifically because I know there’s not much more I can really do to change it other than pray. So I pray for all those out there who are still consumed with so much anger and rage that they take it out on an innocent animal. I pray for each of them to find freedom from whatever their inner turmoil is that causes them to abuse an animal in the first place. The bottom line is that no animal ever deserves any type of abuse or cruelty, especially the ones like that male boxer who only wanted to be loved as much as he tried to do that unconditionally with everyone else.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Recovering Addict’s Path To Self-Love

Were you one of those like I once was who was pretty badly mangled, especially mentally and emotionally when you first found recovery from your addiction? If so, then it’s probably a safe bet to also say you most likely didn’t have much in the department of self-love at that point in time either.

Self-love is usually quite difficult to have early on in recovery from any addiction because of all the self-loathing, self-abuse, and selfishness one put themselves through when their disease was active. No matter what one’s addiction was, the reality is that in most cases it always came first before anyone or anything else. Their waking moments were normally built around engaging in the addiction and often in that process, loved ones got seriously hurt. Thus it’s hard to have any self-love for oneself when sobriety is found because not only is the recovering addict full of disgust and regret over the life they’ve lived, they also frequently have to face scorn and hatred from those family members and friends who were hurt by their addiction. Unfortunately, one of the most common things that happen when a recovering addict starts to deal with all this is trying to find that self-love outside of them to fill that empty pit of it within.

Some early on in recovery might seek to do this by looking for it in a new intimate relationship, which sadly will only end up creating a very codependent existence for them. “If I love you, then hopefully you’ll love me, and we’ll be very happy together because your love is filling my emptiness and lack of self-love.” I went through countless relationships like this and none of them ever lasted because eventually my lack of self-love drained any real love that came from them and my pit became empty once again.

Another way that people early on in recovery search for self-love is by trying to do nice things for those they hurt when their disease was active. They attempt to give money or various other gifts to those who might be upset with them from their past toxic addiction behaviors. While those actions may seem quite admirable, they ultimately aren’t being motivated by acts of unconditional love. There is a price attached to each of them and it’s to fill that void inside where self-love should be. This won’t work to fill it either because when they don’t receive the love they’re seeking from these actions, they resort to the same selfish character defects they exhibited when their addiction was active. I should know as I used my own money as a weapon for far to long to buy the love I wasn’t generating from within. While I may have found it temporarily at times, it was never genuine and my pit always remained empty in the long run.

True self-love can only come from forgiving oneself for all past transgressions. It can only come from changing one’s past toxic behaviors into much healthier and loving ones. And most importantly, it can only come from learning how to like spending time alone with oneself. The only way I ever became able to achieve any of this was asking my Higher Power for the strength to do so. Once I did, my path to self-love sustainability wasn’t an easy one. It took time, a lot of it actually, to learn how to love myself, especially knowing that I lived the majority of my life so selfishly. But once I found enough forgiveness within myself and changed enough of those past toxic behaviors, and once I really started enjoying spending time with me, I no longer felt that emptiness inside. That’s only because it was then I was producing enough self-love on a daily basis to sustain myself without having to seek it outside of me.

So whether you are in recovery from an addiction or not, if you are one of those who still believes that all the love you need in life can come from another person or another thing, you’re grossly mistaken. Any love sought in that way will never last or may never even come to you in the first place. If you really want to have an ever-lasting love, you need to learn how to manifest that from within. Ask your Higher Power for the strength to find self-love and with enough time and patience, I know you will eventually receive it.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson