Initially, I came to the fellowship of 12 Step recovery programs because I was powerless over alcohol and drugs. But why have I kept coming back to them week in and week out, given that I no longer feel powerless over those two things?
The answer’s simple.
I’m powerless with many more things in life than just alcohol and drugs.
I’ve been powerless with my finances.
I’ve been powerless in my sex and love life.
I’ve been powerless in my relationships with friends.
I’ve been powerless with control issues.
And lately, I’ve been powerless with my health.
These are just some of the many things I’ve become powerless with in life and is precisely why I keep coming back to the rooms of 12 Step recovery programs day after day.
You see, if everyone who suffered from an addiction found total freedom from it, and never had any other issue in life after that, in other words life became perfect in every way, there really wouldn’t be any need to attend a recovery meeting or work the 12 Steps.
But the fact is so many others including myself continue to practice the 12 Steps and attend those recovery meetings because our lives aren’t perfect. And when life becomes unmanageable in some way, shape, or form for us, it’s the rooms of recovery, our sponsors, and the 12 Steps that can help guide us through those deadly pitfalls.
I was disillusioned once into thinking that I only needed to stay active in recovery to overcome my powerlessness with alcohol and drugs, but thank God I’ve learned now there’s a much greater purpose for doing so. Because by remaining active in it, anytime life sends me those trials and tribulations that often cause me to feel powerless, I at least have a fellowship and tools at my fingertips to make it through any one of them. But anytime I’ve disconnected myself from my recovery work, when those hardships in life have surfaced, I’ve always resorted to some act of self-will or defiance as soon as I begin to feel powerless.
Thus for me the answer really is that simple. I must at all costs continue to remain active in my recovery from all my former addictions because I truly don’t want to ever live in self-will or defiance again, especially the next time I’m feeling powerless over anything.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
