I was diagnosed a long time ago with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which is typically characterized with behaviors that are just that, obsessive and compulsive. For a very long time I looked at OCD as a totally bad thing because it was yet another medical illness that was placed upon me. But as I’ve grown more spiritual in my thoughts, words, and actions in recent years and did a lot of work around the totally unhealthy obsessive and compulsive behaviors, I’ve come to see that being OCD is actually not a bad thing at all.
For starters, I’ve already mention in a previous blog entry how I enjoy going out into my yard on most days and picking up any debris that’s there. Sometimes this takes hours out of my day and many would probably deem this behavior to be definitely OCD. Yet I find it spiritually healthy and healing for me to focus on that task and in the end I always feel much better when I’m done.
Another good example of this would be my attention for cleanliness around the house and with my car. I’m always making sure I keep both completely uncluttered and here too, this could be deemed to be an obsessive compulsive behavior. Yet every time I do this task, I never find myself getting sick, upset, or feeling worse after completion.
Lastly, I had a very recent example of how having OCD helped me immensely. It dealt with setting up a new HP printer and a new Apple computer. In both cases, I logged many hours in a row configuring and working out the kinks with each to get them both fully operational. I’m sure many would say that’s absolutely obsessive compulsive, but for me I felt pretty damn good after both were up and running.
The fact is, none of these examples have ever made me feel sick and unhealthy and ironically, I used to take some heavy medications to deal with my OCD. Today, I’m not taking any, as I’ve done a lot of work around identifying which obsessive compulsive behaviors are healthy and which ones are not. And the best way I’ve found how to do that is to see how I feel during and after some task I immersed myself in for a good number of consistent hours. Simply put, when I feel lousy, I take it that it’s not a healthy one for me to be doing, but when I feel great, I take it that it’s something that is healthy for me to keep doing.
The point I’m trying to make is that I believe OCD is one of those diagnosis that can be taken in many different ways. I spent many years believing it was a curse I inherited from my parent’s genes. But as I did a lot of therapy, recovery work, holistic healing, meditation and prayer, I’ve come to believe it’s not a bad thing at all to have.
I often think that if I didn’t have OCD, my yard would end up being a pile of debris, my house and car totally dirty, and equipment around my house would never function quite well. This is why I honestly feel it really just comes down to how I choose to look at a diagnosis, because in the end, isn’t a diagnosis just that, a diagnosis. It’s not who I am, it’s only how I choose to look at it…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson