I heard a guy in a recovery meeting the other day say how he didn’t believe in a Higher Power because his life has mostly been filled with depression and despair for the past few years. He truly felt that if there were a Higher Power, that They wouldn’t have let him felt this way for as long as he has. While I felt his pain because of how much of it I’ve been going through myself, I actually have a totally different perspective and it deals with something called blind faith.
The harsh reality I have is that I’ve gone through more pain and hardship than I ever could have imagined I’d go through on my journey to become a more spiritual being these past bunch of years. Often my brain has tried to convince me there is no God because of how long I’ve been enduring what I have. Yet through all of it, I’ve still been able to remain clean and sober from not just one addiction, but all addictions that I ever fell prey to. So what has kept me free from all those poisons?
It can’t be my self-will, because that always led me straight back into any one of my former addictions.
It’s not another human being, because time and time again, I’ve seen how relying upon someone else in my life inevitably failed me at some point or another and led me straight into one of my former addictions as well.
And frankly, it’s not any physical possession either because they have only ever led me to wanting more of them, which was essentially just another one of my addictions.
The only answer I have to what has kept me clean and sober from all my former addictions, even in the midst all the pain and hardship I’ve gone through, is that it’s something much greater than me. And while I’ve never had any irrefutable proof of It’s existence, nor ever heard It speak directly to me, nor seen any other being of Light beyond this plane of existence, I’ve somehow still managed to make it this far, free from so many former poisons.
And while I may have battled my own depression and despair through all of this, I have continued to seek my Higher Power, even though I’ve never found any solid proof It even exists. This is what blind faith is and that’s what I will continue to maintain because so far, it’s the only thing I feel has kept me clean and sober from so much poison I used to consume in such excess, every single day of my life.
The bottom line with blind faith is this. It often means taking spiritual steps forward without any signs that a Higher Power even exists. But in all actuality, I feel that sometimes there are signs all around us of our Higher Power’s existence, it’s just not the ones our ego desires. In my case, it’s the fact I’m still clean and sober from all my former addictions. And that alone is enough to maintain my blind faith that You exist God. Thank You for my sobriety.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson