How A Semi-Pro Hockey Game Showed My Tastes And Interests Have Definitely Changed…

I’m finding that the more I work on my spiritual self and my recovery from addictions, the more my tastes and interests seem to change. I say that because of what I experienced while attending a semi-pro hockey playoff game here in Toledo just over a week ago.

When my partner asked if I would go to this playoff game with him, I must admit that I wasn’t overly excited about the idea. I remained opened enough to give it a try though, as I find it’s important in any relationship to be open to trying new things, even if they probably aren’t something I’d ever pursue on my own.

Nevertheless, it became overly apparent from the onset of me sitting down in my seat at this hockey arena that my tastes and interests had changed from a time when I once thoroughly enjoyed going to any public sporting event. Between the massive quantities of beer people were consuming everywhere, the smell of beer constantly wafting upon me from those sitting directly around me, the incessantly loud clanging of cow bells from all of them, the relentless use of foul language and opposing team taunts, and the number of individuals I found myself triggered by sexually, I wasn’t able to find much enjoyment in the experience at all. Because of this, I spent the majority of my time there in the arena immersed in silly cat videos and other humorous postings on Reddit to distract myself from the onslaught of it all.

Ironically, I used to be one of those who’d scream and yell and swear and drink beer and well, act like pretty much everyone else who attends a sporting event. And even after I quit drinking and drugging, I was still just like everyone else and continued to go to them because the only thing that had changed was me not consuming alcohol. Instead, I usually consumed mega quantities of caffeine, and got high off of that.

But, in the past six years or so, everything has changed with me from my health to my spiritual goals, and I’ve worked extra hard as well to free myself of all negativity, anger, resentment, and any behaviors that I might label as low vibrational, such as swearing or putting anyone down. Because of it, my life has slowed way down and I tend to like more quiet places, more quiet people, and more quiet events these days.

Thus, attending a shouting, screaming, alcohol consuming type of event is pretty far away from my cup of tea and that was quite apparent to my partner by the end of it, as he vowed to never ask me to go to one of those games again.

To be totally honest, I think the only sporting event that might fall within my tastes and interests nowadays is a golf tournament, as the idea of parking myself near a challenging hole during a match and watching in silence while players try to get their golf balls as close to the hole as possible, feels more in alignment with the pace of my Spirit.

Regardless, this change in tastes and interests isn’t limited to sporting events either, as I really don’t enjoy going to bars, clubs, concerts, parties, or anything else that is overly loud or might present me with triggers from former addictions either.

I think the only exception to this is the invitation I get each year from a friend of mine to attend a NASCAR race up in the Detroit area from an enclosed press box where it’s air conditioned and where it’s super quiet. I’ve truly enjoyed this beyond measure.

So, while my tastes and interests have definitely changed from all the work I’ve done on myself spiritually and in recovery, I’m coming to a level of acceptance that its ok and change is good. I think life is meant to evolve the more we grow closer to Source and the more I’ve realized that, the more it’s made it a lot easier to not feel bad when I make a choice to immerse myself in something like silly cat videos on my Iphone during a very loud, boozy, and overly triggering hockey game…

Peace, love, light, and joy
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

A sponsor is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still gently allows you to grow.” (An Anonymous Recovering Individual)

Quote #2

“Sponsor – A (S)piritual (P)erson (O)ffering (N)ecessary (S)uggestions (O)n (R)ecovery” (An Anonymous Recovering Individual)

Quote #3

“Sponsors are like soap, they don’t work unless you use them.” (An Anonymous Recovering Individual)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Thank you for choosing to read today’s Grateful Heart Monday entry, which is a relatively new series where I begin my week writing about an important piece of gratitude from my life, as I feel it truly helps to start it off on a positive note. And after considerable thought, I decided that what I’m most grateful for this week is each the sponsees I work with in the 12 Step recovery world from addiction.

Sponsorship has blessed my life incredibly for plenty of reasons. The biggest being that having sponsees has helped me to remain clean and sober from all of my past addictions. Whenever I find myself tempted or triggered to return to any of the former addictions that once robbed my life, I think about each of those I regularly work with in the Steps who are desperately doing everything they can to remain clean and sober themselves. Sponsees look to their sponsor as the first line of defense from their own disease of addiction, especially early on in sobriety. Thus, that’s something I constantly am reminded of anytime I think about picking one of my former addictions back up. In other words, a sponsee helps to keep me in check too.

A second reason to be thankful for all of the sponsees I’ve worked with is the joy I receive in watching them spiritually grow in their recovery. I have several sponsees who went for a number of decades living deeply in their addictions and couldn’t ever seem to make any bit of sober time last. But through the work that God has guided me in helping them, I’ve seen them gain multiple years of clean and sober time, I’ve seen their families come back together, I’ve seen their jobs become more stable for them, and I’ve seen all of their relationships deepen, which are definitely all things to be joyful for.

A third reason to be grateful for all of the sponsees I’ve worked with is seeing them move on to sponsor others just like I once sponsored them. I always find it to be an honor when I see a former sponsee using the tools I taught with another suffering soul, which is truly what the 12thStep says is meant to happen by the time a person reaches that stage in their recovery work.

A fourth and final reason to be grateful for all of the sponsees I’ve worked with is the friendships and unconditional love that tend to develop through the 12 Step process of recovery. There is a bond that usually forms during the bulk of that work and a level of spiritual connection that’s hard to break, especially with having two people spend a year or two of their lives together going through all of the 12 Step work.

So, yes, I’m absolutely, positively, 100% grateful for all of the sponsees I’ve ever worked with in the 12 Step world of recovery from addiction, as each have blessed my life beyond measure. In all honesty, words really can’t even describe how much my life has benefitted from sponsoring others and thus, I thank each of you who’ve ever chosen me to guide you through the 12 Steps, as it’s been an honor and a privilege in doing so…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson